Monthly Archives: May 2018

Varg Bonebreaka: Orc Warlord on War Wyvern

To finish off Monster Month, I present a  monster miniature that is finally seeing paint after almost THIRTY YEARS in my “to-do pile”!

It’s an old Warhammer Orc Shaman on War Wyvern, circa 1990 or thereabouts. I got him on the secondary market sometime in the mid-nineties. Originally, he was to be for use with my Warhammer Fantasy Orc & Goblin Army, but I wanted to use the wyvern as a mount for an army general, Varg Bonebreaka,  rather than a shaman (more on this later). Before I could do more than buy the bitz and start the conversion, though, several things happened.

  1. Mounting characters on monsters fell out of favor, if not with the entire WFB community, then certainly with my WFB gaming group. The focus of WFB became more about troops than super, unit-killing characters. A positive change, I would say.
  2. I stopped playing “special characters” in my army, for the same reason as above.
  3. I got distracted by something else. I don’t know what. It could have been a bright spot of reflected light shining onto the wall, for all I know. More likely it was my 40K Mordian Iron Guard.

Eventually, around 2003 or thereabouts, I ceased playing Warhammer and Warhammer 40K altogether. This miniature, along with all my others, languished in storage until around 2010 or so, when I started painting miniatures again.

The mounted shaman miniature is perfectly acceptable, in a “I’m holding two weapons parallel to my body within my frontal plane” kind of way (typical of GW of the time). He just wasn’t all that exciting. For my general, Varg,  I decided to use the original Morglum Necksnapper model as the base of the conversion.  You can see in the picture below how the original model looked way back when. I intended to mount the shaman on Morglum’s boar, since he wouldn’t be using it. I still haven’t got around to that yet, either.

I purchased all the bitz I needed for the conversion from a GW rep who came by my FLGS in the “Bitz Wagon”. I bought a dwarf casualty for the base, as my Orcs & Goblins often faced off against my friend’s Dwarfs. (Yes, I wanted to irritate him.) I got rid of Morglum’s axes, as I hated how they looked, and replaced one with a double-edged Chaos axe. I decided I was going to give him a long spear in his other hand, as he would be pretty high up on that wyvern and wouldn’t be able to reach his opponents with anything else. For that, I used a lance from an old Skeleton Horsemen box. Finally, I ditched Morglum’s banner poles and replaced them with the back banner from an old Skaven model, Queek Head-Taker.

Then I let him sit there in the Insanity Pile, untouched, for almost 30 years. When Monster Month rolled around, he wasn’t hard to find.

Here are the results. Because of the large amount of conversion on the orc, I needed to paint them separately prior to assembly. This is actually the first time I mounted a model on something to handle it while painting (I usually just hold it between my fingers). The wooden “plant pot” was intended to provide some stability, but it didn’t do much as the model kept falling over whenever I accidentally hit it (which was often). After the third time fixing the spear, I got wise and glued it to this coffee can lid for added stability.

I don’t go in for the double banners on the wyvern’s back, because I think it looks stupid. Also, I suck at making banners. I opted to add some severed heads from an old GW zombie sprue instead.

I couldn’t find the “back end” of the lance pole. It disappeared some time in the last 25+ years or so. Instead I used a piece of plastic rod. I thought it looked kind of boring, so I added this scythe blade from a GW zombie sprue to the end, turning it into a nasty, unique-looking pole-arm.

I drilled a couple of holes in the wyvern’s flank and added some arrows. Monsters, and the generals on them, tend to attract missile fire.

My friend’s Dwarfs, IIRC, were painted in a green color scheme. I decided to paint this dwarf blue to make him really stand out against the grass and under the wyvern’s claw. The broken barrel is from an Army Painter basing kit.

At last, some final pictures of the complete wyvern with the rider. I give you Varg Bonebreaka, a name inscribed forever in the Book of Grudges many times over! WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!

Makes me wish I still played Warhammer.

This model took me longer than I thought to complete, so I’m glad I started when I did. Unfortunately, I still have a few monsters that aren’t quite finished, and the end of Monster Month is nigh! Oh well. Perhaps I will finish them up soon, and post them as an intermission during next month’s Forgotten Heroes challenge!

 

Insanity Pile Progress

Miniatures Painted Thus Far: 8

Miniatures Purchased: 0

Total: +8

Griffon and Land Shark

My latest two “monster month” projects have arrived! Presenting: the Griffon and the Bulette (Land Shark).

(Astute observers may notice that the model in the middle of these two monsters has changed since the last post. That’s because I couldn’t seem to find that human fighter who found himself between an Umber Hulk and a Purple Worm, and then between a hungry Troll and a Basilisk. Perhaps his luck finally ran out…)

The Bulette, also known as a land shark, is a terrifying predator that lives only to eat (much like a regular shark). It burrows beneath the ground and bursts to the surface whenever it detects the vibrations of movement. A bulette has a territory of about 30 square miles, and will attack anything it comes across, completely consuming its prey (clothing, armor, weapons, etc.). When it has eaten everything in its territory, it will move on to another area.

Bulettes are not usually smart; however there is a famous case of one land shark ringing the doorbells of unsuspecting victims, fooling them into opening the door by pretending to have a delivery of something (flowers, candy, etc.). Once the victim opened the door, the land shark would strike!

This bulette is a Reaper Bones “land shark” (appropriate, no?).

A griffon, as everyone knows, is a majestic beast with the body of a lion and the head, wings and front legs of a great eagle. Griffons are fierce predators and enjoy eating horses most of all. Griffons are semi-intelligent and are much prized as mounts for heroic characters, as they are capable of being trained by those with enough daring and skill.

This griffon is yet another of Nolzur’s Marvelous Miniatures.  I used the hot water/cold water bath method to reshape its wings somewhat, but that’s about it. In all my years of painting, I have never painted a griffon before. I really like this miniature (score another for Nolzur’s); therefore I have named him Merv.

You see what I did there?

 

 

Insanity Pile Progress

Miniatures Painted Thus Far: 6

Miniatures Purchased: 0

Total: +6

Basilisk and Troll

Monster Month continues with a couple more beasties: the dreaded basilisk and the AD&D version of  a classic monster: the troll!

The troll is from Nolzur’s Marvelous Miniatures, and I am hard-pressed to recall seeing a finer version of the classic AD&D troll. I absolutely love this sculpt. If I have one criticism, it’s that he’s a bit too big; most trolls are 9 feet tall or so; this guy looks like he’s twice the size of the fighter next to him. In addition, his built-on base is somewhat problematic if you plan on mounting him on the included 50mm circular base, as it overlaps the circle somewhat due to his wide stance. I chose to use a bigger (60mm) base, but that meant I had a lot of space to fill. I used some cut-up pieces of craft foam to simulate dungeon flagstones and here is the finished result.

Everyone knows what a troll is, but the AD&D version of a troll is particularly nasty, as they regenerate all damage—including severed limbs—given enough time. The only way to put a troll down for good is with fire or acid. Other than that, run. The AD&D troll has a somewhat unique look to them as well; the long arms ending in ragged claws, the rubbery body, socketed eyes and wiry hair. They’re pretty horrific. And they’re always hungry. Thankfully, they’re not that bright, so it’s somewhat easy to outthink them.

A basilisk is an eight-legged reptile that petrifies victims with its gaze, much like Medusa. A significant difference between the two, however, is that Medusa decorates her lair with the statues she creates, while the basilisk just eats them. Yes, a basilisk is fully capable of eating the stone bodies of its victims. Basilisks are about as smart as your average reptile. In other words, not very.

This basilisk is a Reaper Bones version. This was a miniature that I was unhappy with throughout the entire painting process. I felt like I chose the wrong colors and I everything I did just seemed to make the miniature look worse. Finally, I applied a wash of GW’s Fuegan Orange to his spine and the tips of his scales, and everything looked a million times better. Now I’m pretty happy with how he came out.

 

Insanity Pile Progress

Painted Miniatures Thus Far: 4

Purchased Miniatures: 0

Progress +4

 

Umber Hulk and Purple Worm

Monster Month kicks off with two classic AD&D monsters straight from the Monster Manual: the Umber Hulk and the Purple Worm—two very good reasons not to adventure underground.

The Umber Hulk is from the Nolzur’s Marvelous Miniatures line, which is a new-ish Wizkids line of computer sculpted miniatures that are both inexpensive and impressive. Wizkids has the rights to produce all the “official” AD&D monsters like the Umber Hulk, which is why you’ll see them called by their true names and not by a knockoff (i.e. Reaper’s  rust monster, the “oxidation beast”). I have to imagine that Wizkids is taking their cue from the massive success of Reaper Bones, because the Umber Hulk cost a mere $3.99. He’s a pretty decent size, too, as you can see from the (very nervous-looking) 28mm Reaper fighter standing between him and the worm. The Purple Worm is a Reaper Bones version of their “Great Wyrm” sculpt. I believe it also retailed at $3.99. Again, great price, decent size, great sculpt.

These Nolzur’s miniatures are, like Bones, supposed to be ready to paint without priming; in the case of Nolzur’s, they are supposedly primed already. Regardless, I choose to prime both Nolzur’s and Bones miniatures with Vallejo surface primer, because the paint rubs off if you don’t (no matter what they say). The Umber Hulk miniature required a little additional preparation prior to painting. Like Bones, many of the Nolzur’s miniatures set in weird positions after the casting process and need to be repositioned, which is actually pretty easy to do. Initially, this Umber Hulk’s mandible hung lower than its base, which would have made standing him up impossible. A quick dip of the miniature in some hot (but not boiling) water allowed me to bend it into a more upright posture, then a quick bath in some cold water made sure it re-set that way and wouldn’t go back. This method also works with Bones and even Heroclix, depending on the thickness of the plastic you’re trying to reshape.

Once he could stand up without stepping on his own jaw, I got to work:

According to the Monster Manual (3.5 edition in case anyone cares), an Umber Hulk resembles a cross between an ape and a beetle. It dwells deep within the earth, and can rip through solid stone like it was paper. AD&D player characters fear the Umber Hulk for several reasons. It’s covered in armored plates, it’s strong and can dish out a lot of damage, and it can hypnotize you with its eyes. But perhaps the scariest thing about an Umber Hulk is that it’s smart; often, it’s smarter than the PCs. The average human ability score (including Intelligence) is a 9. An Umber Hulk has an average Intelligence of 13!

The Purple Worm is another well-known AD&D monster. It’s a massive scavenger worm, covered in purple chitinous armor. A mature Purple Worm has a 6′ diameter mouth and is about 80′ long. (This one must be a baby.) It can easily swallow prey whole, including humanoids. To top it off, it has a poisonous stinger in its tail.

Being a Reaper Bones miniature, it’s not an “official” Purple Worm. I just painted it up that way.

Unlike Umber Hulks, Purple Worms aren’t smart. They’re just huge and mean and very tough to kill.

Insanity Pile Progress

Off to a good start, even though it’s only the first week. I’ve painted more than I’ve purchased. Good on me.

Painted Miniatures: 2

Purchased Miniatures: 0

Progress +2

Monster Month (and Getting My Shit Together)

First up, the good news: May is Monster Month! Now that my Gaslands project is (somewhat) complete, I’ve decided to get back to my first love: fantasy miniatures. And to that end, I have decided it’s high time I got around to painting some good old-fashioned monsters!

With the arrival of Reaper Bones and other inexpensive miniatures like Nolzur’s Marvelous Minis, it’s easier than ever to get your hands on some large beasties for not a lot of cash. And for the most part, the sculpting is top-notch on these miniatures, whether sculpted by hand (Bones) or 3d designed (Nolzur’s). Some of the monsters I’ll be painting this month have been in my insanity pile for years, whereas some are relatively recent purchases. Some are metal, some are plastic or resin. Old school, new school; the point is, they’re all monsters, and they’re all getting painted this month!

Now, the less-fun news. A couple of months back, I reminisced about the early Grenadier miniatures that were my first steps into what would eventually become my wargaming hobby. If you missed that post, you can read it here (if so inclined). One thing  I wrote in that post has been on my mind ever since.

Here’s what I said: “…even if I were to (paint) one miniature every day for the rest of my life, I would likely never finish what I already own, never mind any future tempting purchases. A somewhat sobering and morbid thought, but true nonetheless.”

Guess what? It is true. And it is sure as hell sobering.

(Actually, what I wrote was about stripping and repainting old miniatures, not painting new ones, but that changes nothing. Between what I have that I would like to strip and repaint, and what I have that has never yet seen paint, the reality remains the same. It ain’t gonna happen in my lifetime.)

Like many gamers nowadays, I am of a certain age. I am not the oldest grognard wearing a “Keep Calm and Cthulhu Fhtagn” T shirt, but neither am I a youngster any more. I’m in my mid 40’s, and I’ve been gaming since I was 12, collecting and painting miniatures since I was 13 or so. While mid-40’s is hardly old, especially considering the well-known and often-discussed “greying of the hobby”;  and although I’m reasonably healthy at the moment (knock wood), I have no illusions about my life.  In addition to other vices (like indolence), I really like scotch and gin, and I’ve liked them for many a long year now. The sad truth is that I have a lot of lead, both painted and unpainted; and a lot of half-started and wish-list projects I’m simply not going to ever complete.

As I’ve stated elsewhere in this blog, the last big gaming convention I attended was Gen Con in 2012. In addition to a comprehensive review of the convention, that post includes a list of all the stuff I bought when I was there. I knew buying most of that crap was a mistake as soon as I got back home. Most of it is still sitting right here in the original packages. I haven’t painted or used most of it, and it doesn’t look like I ever will.

Herein lies a problem faced by many wargamers: Let’s say you drop dead. What happens to your stuff? Many wargamers would naturally pass their armies on to the next generation, assuming their children had any interest in such things. I don’t have kids, and likely (and hopefully) never will. So what then?

It goes without saying that it becomes a problem for those we leave behind. Someone (or, if you’re lucky, several someones) who probably doesn’t need any more to deal with while grieving your death, as it may make them reach the “anger” stage of grief much faster. In my case, it’s not just my painted miniatures and the insanity pile that would be left behind. (That link leads to a description of my insanity pile that is outdated by several years. Like Scrooge, I have labored on it since.) It’s also the thousands of books and comics that I have amassed in almost four decades of collecting. All this stuff is going to land squarely in the lap of people who may love me, but may not necessarily love my hobbies and want to deal with 30 plus years of accumulated academia, esoterica, and plain-old geekery after my death.

It’s time to get real, and prioritize what I can realistically keep and what I should just bid a fond farewell to. And like many gamers, I need to STOP BUYING NEW STUFF. Not just new stuff, but old “new-to-me” stuff too, no matter how great a deal it is. I have to start saying no.

To this end, I’ve come up with an action plan.

Part 1: As a way to motivate myself to shrink the lead pile, I’m stealing an idea I saw on fellow TMPer Oiler72’s blog: the lead mountain progress total. With every post, Oiler keeps track of the number of miniatures he’s painted vs. the number of new miniatures he’s purchased, for a plus or minus overall progress total. I’m doing that, starting with my next post. I’m not about to count what I already have (that would make me mental). But whatever the starting point number may be, it should be easy to track whether I’m up or down relative to it if I keep logging painted vs. purchased.

(Note: this is for miniatures only. I do not consider terrain projects or things like Gaslands conversions, which are technically not miniatures, to be any progress towards adding to or shrinking the lead mountain.)

Part 2: I need to narrow my interests. I need to decide what games I’m going to focus on and what projects I can realistically complete. I need to look at the stuff I already have, and decide, once and for all, whether to keep it or get rid of something I know I’m never going to paint and/or play with. Is it worth the investment in time and/or money? If not: adios, muchacho. When deciding what to keep, I should consider whether it can be used in multiple games or whether it will only be used in one system; for example, unpainted police miniatures can be used for zombie, pulp, supers or any other modern game, whereas pirates can pretty much only be used as pirates.

Example: Wow, those Firestorm Armada ships look really fucking cool! Should I keep them? Let’s see:

  1. I’m never going to find anyone else near me who plays Firestorm Armada,
  2. Spartan Games went out of business, which means the game is no longer supported,
  3. While I could conceivably use the ships for other games, I don’t have any other space games except for War Rocket and X-Wing, neither of which match the theme or scale,
  4. I don’t want to buy any more space games,
  5. I have way too much other stuff to paint.

So should I keep them? Sounds like a big fat NO.

Firestorm Armada was easy. I have many other games/miniatures to consider, and many miles to go before I sleep.