{"id":5932,"date":"2022-07-11T11:46:28","date_gmt":"2022-07-11T15:46:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/angrypiper.com\/?p=5932"},"modified":"2022-07-11T11:52:19","modified_gmt":"2022-07-11T15:52:19","slug":"avengers-job-interview-the-crimson-hound","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/angrypiper.com\/?p=5932","title":{"rendered":"Avengers Job Interview: The Crimson Hound"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Captain America (CA): <\/strong>Welcome! Come in! Sit down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Crimson Hound (CH): <\/strong>Thanks. How ya’ doin’?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Iron Man (IM): <\/strong>We ask the questions here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CA:<\/strong> Don’t mind him. I understand you interviewed with the Justice League recently?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CH:<\/strong> Yeah. No luck. They’re a bunch of dicks. No offense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CA: <\/strong>Uh huh. None taken. So, we’ve been looking at your resume…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CH: <\/strong>I’ve been uh…on vacation, recently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

IM:<\/strong> Hey! Aren’t you the guy who killed Santa Claus?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CH:<\/strong> Well, not “officially”…that guy was kind of a dick, though.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thor (T):<\/strong> Remove thy feet from yon table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CH:<\/strong> Sorry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CA:<\/strong> Vacation, you say…well, that explains the empty space on the page here. No problem. I believe it’s important to refresh and recharge from time to time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hulk (H): <\/strong>STUPID FLAG-MAN LIES! FLAG MAN NEVER APPROVE VACATION FOR HULK EVEN WHEN HULK REQUEST TWO MONTHS AHEAD PER EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CA:<\/strong> Says here you’re a vampire. Is that true?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CH:<\/strong> Well, yeah…kinda. Technically. I guess.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

IM:<\/strong> You “guess”? You either drink blood or you don’t drink blood. Do you drink blood or not?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CH:<\/strong> Uh…yes…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

T:<\/strong> Vile monster! Begone! Thou art a fiend from the very depths of Niflheim! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

CH: <\/strong>I’m from Cleveland.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CA:<\/strong> Look, I’m sure you’re a great guy, but this maybe isn’t the best fit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CH:<\/strong> Really? You’re turning me down? This is the same team that took Starfox? That guy’s a fucking HR nightmare! And Dr. Druid? I rate lower than Dr. Fucking Druid??! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

CA:<\/strong> Now see here, buster…there’s no need for profanity…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

T:<\/strong> Methinks he doth make a compelling argument, though…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H:<\/strong> DON’T LOOK AT HULK. HULK NOT INVOLVED WITH THAT DECISION. HULK LEFT TEAM WAY BEFORE DR. DRUID JOIN.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CA:<\/strong> Well, let’s just put it to a vote, then. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

IM: <\/strong>I like this guy! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

T:<\/strong> I say thee nay!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H:<\/strong> HULK NOT CARE. HULK ABSTAIN.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CA: <\/strong>Well, I vote no. Sorry. But thanks for coming by.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

CH:<\/strong> Whatever. Assholes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have a lot of Heroclix, Bruno. I can do this for a very long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Captain America (CA): Welcome! Come in! Sit down. Crimson Hound (CH): Thanks. How ya’ doin’? Iron Man (IM): We ask the questions here. CA: Don’t mind him. I understand you interviewed with the Justice League recently? CH: Yeah. No luck. They’re a bunch of dicks. No offense. CA: Uh huh. None taken. So, we’ve been […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[58,3,10,31,84,134,25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5932","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-conversions","category-miniatures","category-pulp","category-repaints","category-role-playing-games","category-rpg-characters","category-super-heroes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/angrypiper.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5932","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/angrypiper.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/angrypiper.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/angrypiper.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/angrypiper.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5932"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/angrypiper.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5932\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5937,"href":"http:\/\/angrypiper.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5932\/revisions\/5937"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/angrypiper.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5932"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/angrypiper.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5932"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/angrypiper.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5932"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}