Category Archives: Miniatures

Justice League Job Interview: The Crimson Hound

Superman (S): Hello, come in. Please, sit down. The Crimson Hound, is it?

The Crimson Hound (CH): Yep, that’s me.

Wonder Woman (WW): Greetings. Thank you for coming in.

CH: No problem.

S: So, er…uh…Mr. Hound…you’re applying for League membership.

CH: That’s right.

Batman (B): Take your feet off the table.

CH: Oh. Sorry.

S: We’ve reviewed your resume, and we have a few questions.

CH: Shoot, Supes. I’m an open book.

WW: Well, it seems as though you haven’t been active in some time. You last superhero job was…well, almost a full year ago.

CH: Yeah. Well, there was that stuff around Christmas, but that wasn’t “official”. Anyway, I’ve been taking it easy. You know, having a nice long soak in the bubble bath that is me.

B: “…What?”

CH: Yeah. A vacation. I mean, everyone needs a break now and then, Bats. You can’t expect to be a force of vengeance and justice every day, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You’d have to be batshit crazy–a really obsessive asshole– to do that. Am I right or what?

B:

WW: Um…anyway, what do you think you bring to the team? How do you usually deal with evildoers?

S: We encounter a lot of evildoers, you know. It’s important we can work as a team.

CH: Yeah, I assumed. Well, I usually strike terror in their hearts, then I beat the living shit out of them.

S: Right…ummm…ok…well…that’s great, but…

WW: It’s just that…uh…

B: That’s what I do. That’s my thing.

CH: Oh. Sorry. I should have explained better. By “beat the shit out of them”, I mean I rip off their heads with my bare hands, then I drink their blood.

S:

WW:

B:

CH: So, do I get the job?

It’s been a while since my buddy Bruno has published any new Crimson Hound content on YouTube. This is me, slapping him in the face with the metaphorical glove.

I love ya, Bruno.

Half-Elf Ranger

For my Character of the Month and for Tom’s #paintanadventuringparty challenge on Instagram, I decided to do this half-elven ranger, sculpted by Dennis Mize for the Ral Partha AD&D Adventurers collection back in 1989.

Another old-school, metal miniature from yesteryear that’s been sitting in my pile of shame without a drop of paint on him since the day he was purchased.

I’m really happy with the way he came out, and I’m glad I chose yellow as the prominent color. I hate painting yellow, but for some reason I thought it would look good.

True to form, I waited until the last possible day to finish him up, but that still counts!

This month has been fun. Make sure to stop by Carrion Crow’s Buffet for the Forgotten Heroes blogroll and check out everyone’s fantastic submissions. Next month here at Dead Dick’s Tavern starts with a major gripe session, followed by more pop culture miniatures, another character of the month, and…oh, yeah…a little thing called the Season of Scenery, hosted by Mr. Star Wars himself: Dave Stone! This year, I have decided to merge both the Season of Scenery challenge and my own Year of Pop Culture and work on something that will satisfy both.

Forgotten Heroes 2022: The Hypno-Hustler!

A couple of years back, Bill Maher had a segment on his show called “I don’t know it for a fact; I just know it’s true.” He would say amusing things like “I don’t know for a fact that Justin Trudeau moonlights as a tantric yoga instructor; I just know it’s true.” See? That’s a joke, because Justin Trudeau is a good-looking youngish guy who probably gets laid a lot; but he’s also the Prime Minister of Canada.

I don’t know for a fact that Jeremy, a.k.a. Carrion Crow, sounds exactly like Lenny Mclean, a.k.a. Barry the Baptist from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels; I just know it’s true. That’s a joke, too, because lest there be any confusion, I’ve never actually heard Carrion Crow speak. Still, I find it amusing to imagine him saying things like “If you don’t wanna be countin’ the fingers you ‘aven’t got, I suggest you get those guns! Quick!”

I don’t know for a fact that Forgotten Heroes is the greatest painting challenge in the history of painting challenges, I just know it’s true; because this year it gave me the opportunity to create one of my favorite all-time villains: the Hypno-Hustler!

From Wikipedia: Antoine Desloin is the lead singer of the Mercy Killers, going by the name of Hypno-Hustler. He and his band were scheduled to perform at a nightclub called “Beyond Forever”. When the club’s manager catches Hypno-Hustler robbing his safe, Hypno-Hustler used his hypnotic equipment on the manager. When it came time to perform, Hypno-Hustler and his band used their hypnotizing equipment on the audience in a plan to rob them as well. Peter Parker was at the club at the time and changed into Spider-Man. During the fight, Spider-Man discovered that Hypno-Hustler’s headphones protected him from his own hypnotic music. Spider-Man managed to remove them from Hypno-Hustler causing him to become a victim of his own hypnosis. When the audience was free of the hypnosis, Hypno-Hustler and his Mercy Killers were webbed up and left for the police.

So: Hypno-Hustler can hypnotize people with his music; but, failing that, he can resort to the toe-spikes and knockout gas he has hidden in his big platform heels. He also plays the guitar.

Hypno-Hustler made his debut in November, 1978 in Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man #24; and then promptly vanished from comics for 24 years, until Spider-Man: Tangled Web #16 (released in November of 2002). He was created by the great Bill Mantlo; who sadly has been dealing with long-term injuries from a hit-and-run accident in the early 90’s. Bill Mantlo worked on a ton of incredible comics in the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s, and created some great characters; like Cloak and Dagger, Jack of Hearts, Rom: Spaceknight and (most famous nowadays) Rocket Raccoon; the royalties of which allowed him to finally leave the nursing facility he’d been living in for 25 years and return to home care.

Before we dive in to the miniature conversion process, please feel free to get in the mood with this sketch from Key and Peele, which still cracks me up every time I watch it.

To make Hypno-Hustler, I used this DC Hypertime Booster Gold Heroclix miniature as the base. I trimmed him off his flight disc, but kept the plastic under his feet to give him some height afforded by his KISS-esque boots.

From there it wasn’t too hard to add green stuff and Magic Sculpt to make his afro, chest speaker/amp, belt and shoulder trim. I also added his headphones and tried to define his goggles a bit. Then I gave him a microphone so he wasn’t empty-handed.

But something was conspicuously absent (and no, it wasn’t the Mercy Killers). Hypno-Hustler needed a guitar, and, not surprisingly, Booster Gold didn’t come with one. I looked for a suitable guitar I could cannibalize amongst my many miniatures and bitz. No luck.

My next step was to find a 28mm scale guitar bit somewhere else. I looked at silver charms (for charm bracelets), and found something perfect, except that it was just too big enough to look wrong. I finally looked for manufacturers that make musical instrument conversion bits. I thought for sure Reaper did, but nope. All Fantasy themed instruments, no electric guitars. Eventually, PaulCollins at The Miniatures Page pointed me to two British companies: Spellcrow and Zealot miniatures, respectively.

Although available in the USA through Amazon and Noble Knight, the Spellcrow guitars are a bit too Slaanesh Noise Marine for me (and certainly for the Hypno-Hustler). They weren’t the right shape, either.

In contrast, the Zealot miniatures guitars were awesome. Just what I needed. Unfortunately, they are only available from the company in the UK, and I’m not going to pay that much shipping for one little guitar sprue.

Which means I had to make my own. I know it sucks, but it’s for the Hypno-Hustler; so who cares? I put it on his back, anyway. I was going to sculpt the guitar strap, but it would clutter up the front of the miniature if I did, so I left it out.

And here he is, ready to funk up the place: The Hypno-Hustler! Painting him was pretty easy, as Hypno-Hustler has a limited color palette: white with purple acoutrements. I listened to a lot of Earth, Wind and Fire and Parliament-Funkadelic while I did.

I’m least happy with his base. I didn’t know what to do, so I just painted it like a spotlight. I considered adding glitter to it; but as anyone who’s ever been to a strip club knows (so I hear), glitter gets everywhere.

With Spider-man’s greatest (I said greatest, damn you!) nemesis now complete, I have no excuse not to break out the Super Mission Force any longer. It’s been way too long!

Thanks as always to Carrion Crow for hosting Forgotten Heroes. He did a member of Spidey’s Rogues Gallery himself this year: The Spot! Go check it out, along with a link to everyone else’s fun contributions!

Make Mine Forgotten Heroes!

The Pawn: Part 7

At the ops station, Commander Riker leaned on one leg, rested his elbow on his knee, and gazed at the main viewer. Enterprise had followed the quantum drive signatures to a dense asteroid field, the remains of a planetary collision eons ago. “Great,” he said. “If the Romulans are in there, we’ll never find them.”

Data glanced over his shoulder. “Not necessarily, Commander. I believe I may have a method. Are you familiar with Newton’s Third Law of Motion?”

Riker straightened uncomfortably. “It’s…uh…been a while since my academy physics classes.”

“I see.” Data frowned. He didn’t, really, He could never understand why humans thought answering a question with irrelevant information was a valid answer; but he recognized Riker’s response was meant as a negative. He continued: “Put simply, every object in space exerts gravity on every other object. I propose that we could find the cloaked vessel by tracing the patterns of gravimetric force and finding the void where the ship should be, based on the force it exerts on the other surrounding objects; namely, the asteroids.”

“If that works, why aren’t we using that method to find cloaked ships all the time?” asked Riker.

“It would not work in open space, Commander; the distances between objects and the miniscule forces exerted would make measurement functionally impossible. However, this is a unique situation. The cloaked vessel has taken refuge in the asteroid field, no doubt for the extra camouflage it offers; however such close proximity to other bodies may, paradoxically, make it easier to trace the gravimetric force patterns and pinpoint the vessel’s location.”

“That’s still a staggering number of variables to account for, Data,” said Picard, joining them. “Is the Enterprise computer even capable of that many calculations?”

“I believe so, sir; if I interface my positronic matrix to assist with the calculations.”

“Make it so,” said Picard.

Enterprise glided silently through the asteroid field, trusting in its navigational deflectors to keep the massive rocks at bay. The bridge was quiet, all eyes on Data; who sat at the operations console staring straight ahead, unblinking. Although it seemed like hours, only about ten minutes passed before the android spoke. “I believe I have located the ship, Captain.”

The viewscreen focused on an unremarkable asteroid, one among millions. “I believe the cloaked vessel is maintaining a position within 5000 km of this asteroid, sir; but I cannot be more specific than that.”

“He could hide there forever,” said Riker. “All he has to do is stay cloaked.”

“Indeed,” Picard sighed. “Suggestions?”

From the tactical station, Dresa spoke up. “Captain, I believe I have a way to reveal the Romulan vessel, but we must act quickly.”

“Explain,” said Picard.

“There’s no time,” said Dresa. “It has to be now, or we’ll lose our chance.”

Picard looked at Worf and nodded. “Proceed, Commander Dresa.”

Worf stepped back from tactical, and Dresa took his place. She glanced at the controls for a moment, then tapped a few buttons in rapid sequence. Before anyone could react, Enterprise fired at salvo of photon torpedoes at the asteroid, blowing it into chunks of space dust.

Worf sprang forward and flung Dresa away from the console as Riker shot to his feet and whirled around. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

The Klingon woman said nothing, but gestured to the viewscreen, where the unmistakable outline of a Romulan Scout Vessel was flickering in and out of visibility as thousands of asteroid fragments impacted the vessel’s hull. After a moment, the cloak failed completely.

“Report!” ordered Picard.

“Captain,” said Data, “the Romulan vessel’s shields were dowin order n to engage the cloak. I am reading multiple impacts across all decks, resulting in severe damage to the Romulan ship. It is currently unable to raise shields or employ it’s cloaking device.”

“Good,” said Dresa. “They should be willing to talk now.”

Picard stared at her. “Mr. Worf. Get her the hell off my bridge.”

Worf, seething, barely gestured towards the turbolift. “Move,” he said. After a moment, Dresa complied, casting a final look at the viewscreen, where the Romulan vessel began sporadically venting plasma.

“Captain, the Romulan vessel is hailing us,” said Data.

“On screen.” On the main viewer, the image of the damaged ship was replaced by the face of an angry-looking Romulan.

“My name is Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Federation starship Enterprise,” said Picard.

“I know who you are!” spat the Romulan. “You dare attack a vessel of the Romulan Star Empire? This is an act of war!”

“To whom am I speaking?”

“Sub-commander Mirak!” sputtered the Romulan.

“We regret the damage caused to your vessel, Sub-commander Mirak; and will certainly assist in any way we can,” said Picard. “Although you have no cause to believe me, it was accidental. We have been tracking a saboteur responsible for the destruction of a Klingon vessel. The trail led us here.”

“You’re right. I don’t believe you,” said Mirak. “I find it strange that the Federation should concern itself so deeply with Klingon affairs.”

“The Klingons are our allies, Sub-commander. Perhaps you can explain your own presence here in the Neutral Zone?”

“We were dispatched to investigate reports of a rogue Federation starship–your starship– crossing the Neutral Zone,” said Mirak. “Your presence here and your unprovoked attack is a clear violation of the treaty. As you can see, there is no saboteur here. Therefore, you should leave. Now.”

Picard turned and gestured to Lieutenant Bailey, who had taken Worf’s place at tactical. She muted communications. He turned a questioning look to Counselor Troi.

She shrugged. “I don’t need to tell you he’s angry, Captain. Very angry, most likely at being discovered. He’s vulnerable and he knows it.”

Picard nodded and signaled communications should resume. “What I find odd, Sub-commander, is that we crossed the Neutral Zone less than one hour ago, and yet here you are, far closer to the Federation side of the border than you should be able to reach in that amount of time. Unless, of course, you were already here in the Zone, or perhaps even in Federation space. That would, as you say, be in clear violation of the treaty. Perhaps we should discuss this matter further in an environment that is less hazardous.”

“There is nothing to discuss. I have already told you we had nothing to do with the destruction of the Mok’tagh.”

Picard exchanged a glance with Riker before replying. “I do not recall giving you the name of the Klingon ship that was destroyed, Sub-commander Mirak.”

“Sir,” Data warned, “I am detecting two Romulan Warbirds crossing the border to the Neutral Zone from Romulan space, headed in this direction at maximum warp. They will be within weapons range in seventeen minutes, four seconds.”

“I think this conversation is over, Captain Picard,” Mirak said with a triumphant smile. “I suggest you take my advice and leave while you still can. I will not advise you again.”

“Your vessel is severely damaged, Sub-commander. Since you have no shields,” said Picard. “we could easily transport you and every one of your crew to Enterprise, where we will ensure your comfort and safety while we continue our discussion.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” said Mirak, uncertain.

Picard let the question linger a moment. “No,” he said. “As a show of good faith, and to prove the damage to your vessel was indeed an accident, we will let things stand as they are; for now. But you have told me all I need to know, Mirak; and the Klingons will be most interested in what I have learned.”

Some Klingons, perhaps.” Mirak smiled. The viewscreen went blank as the Romulan Sub-commander cut communication.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” asked Riker.

Picard frowned. “I have a feeling we have been led on a snipe hunt, Number One. Ensign McKnight, set course for Varuna three. warp seven.”

Finally! I got to play a game! Unfortunately, it wasn’t very exciting, and recording it fully here wouldn’t do much; but it was a scenario where the outcome would shape the coming story, so a review is in order.

This scenario was simple. Can the USS Enterprise-D find the cloaked Romulan vessel in the asteroid field before it can slip away?

I have a bunch of Heroclix and Deep Cuts Star Trek ships I’ve been dying to use, so I decided to use Star Trek: Attack Wing as my rules set (mainly because I sold my A Call to Arms: Starfleet rules long ago, and I don’t really own any other space combat rules other than War Rocket, which isn’t suitable). I encountered a problem quickly: Attack Wing is by nature a combat simulation and has almost no rules that aren’t combat rules. That will be fine later on in the story if the Enterprise needs to slug it out with some other ships (fingers crossed), but for now, all I needed was some way to play cat-and-mouse with the Romulan vessel.

Not knowing how your opponent will move and what actions he will take is a big part of the challenge of Attack Wing. Since I was playing both sides, how could I work around this? The answer was random movement for the Romulans, to be determined after Enterprise moved each turn. I copied all the allowable movement options for a Romulan Scout ship and assigned them a number, then rolled a die to see what they would do. The Romulans would obviously not fly into an asteroid or the Enterprise herself; but otherwise their movement was determined by a roll on a random table.

In Star Trek: Attack Wing, cloaked ships are given an extra 4 Defense dice while cloaked to represent how hard it is to target them. The Romulan scout ship normally has a Agility of 3, so adding the cloaking device brings it to 7 Defense dice. Not too shabby.

The USS Enterprise-D has an Attack value of 4. I decided Data’s clever idea would give an additional +1, for a total of 5. This represents the Enterprise’s ability to scan for the cloaked vessel.

Each turn, after movement was determined, I would check the range between the ships. Assuming the ships were within firing range, I would make a scanning (attack) roll for the Enterprise-D, resisted by the Romulan defense. If the ships were ever not in range of each other, that counted as a win for the Romulan side. The first side to win three rounds would win the scenario; meaning if Enterprise wins, they detect the Romulan vessel, and if the Romulans win, they manage to slip away and avoid detection.

Well, you can see how it ultimately went. Enterprise basically chased the Romulans around an asteroid for four turns. Not even worth the setup! Even with two fewer dice, the Enterprise managed to detect the Romulan ship 3-1, with the Romulans only scoring one round. Pretty bad rolling for the Romulans, considering the advantage they had! There wasn’t any combat this time around; but you never know what can happen. I might have to break out the Attack Wing rules in earnest soon…but anyway, here’s an excuse to show off my painted Enterprise-D. (That’s a factory job on the Romulan Heroclix ship.)

Meanwhile, what’s happening on Varuna three? We’ll find out Barclay’s fate in the next AAR, which will definitely be more detailed as it will be a return to Fantastic Worlds Trek skirmishing!

Forgotten Heroes 2022: Rainbow Boy

For my first submission to Forgotten Heroes 2022, I present: Rainbow Boy!

Before anyone calls bullshit on me, Rainbow Boy is a REAL character, and he certainly fits the designation of “Forgotten Hero”. He only appeared a total of nine times in comics. I’m a lifelong comic fan, and I’d never heard of him in my life, until @howardswinford, a guy on Instagram, posted a picture of him. Then I found this book: The League of Regrettable Super Heroes, which contains an entry for Rainbow Boy (and a plethora of inspiration for future Forgotten Heroes submissions). Since then, I’ve been utterly fascinated by him.

Rainbow Boy, real name Jack Walton, gained the superpower of “rainbow control” through unknown means. He can fly (or perhaps “cavort merrily”) at the speed of light; and when he does, he leaves a rainbow trail in his wake that he can shape into various forms. Those are his powers.

He needs nothing else. Rainbow Boy is FUCKING AWESOME.

June, the month of Forgotten Heroes, happens to be Pride month here in the USA. Now I know what you’re all thinking, but you’d be wrong. I did not choose Rainbow Boy in celebration of Pride Month. Rainbow Boy debuted in 1942. Like all men who wore tights back then, there is absolutely nothing to indicate that Rainbow Boy is anything but a heterosexual, cisgender white male.

Nothing. Nothing at all.

Of course, it was the 40’s, and gay people didn’t exist back then. Rainbow Boy is in the public domain now; and the times, they are a-changin’; so nowadays he should feel free to be whoever he wants, be it breakfast cereal mascot (as suggested in his entry) or LGBTQ+ icon. After all, he just turned 80. If not now, when? (Edit: I feel the need to specifically qualify the blatantly ignorant first sentence of this paragraph as sarcasm. I shouldn’t have to, as it takes away somewhat from the humor intended; but it’s possible I will be misunderstood as homophobic and uninformed. Lest anyone think I am homophobic, uninformed, or in any way serious when I write that gay people didn’t exist in the 40’s, I am not. I am aware that gay people existed in the 1940s; also prior to the 40’s throughout history, and every day since.)

To make Rainbow Boy, I used two miniatures: a Heroclix Aquaman, and a Heroclix Rogue; Aquaman for Rainbow Boy himself, and Rogue’s weird air contrail for Rainbow Boy’s eponymous rainbow. With my meager sculpting skills, I was able to form Rainbow Boy’s cowl and Spartan-like mohawk, his bracers, and his circular belt buckle from green stuff and Magic Sculpt.

You would think painting Rainbow Boy would be easy; after all his costume is mostly white and red. Not so much, though. As is common with many Clix models, Aquaman was caked with paint that is so difficult to remove I didn’t even try; I just painted over it. The result is a little heavy-handed, as you can see.

I primed him white and gave him a good wash of Nuln OIl before highlighting up. His odd, pastel rainbow was more of a challenge, as it appears on his chest, cowl plume and wristbands. I did my best; but freehanding something so small and lightly-colored was tough.

Finding free time has once again proven to be a challenge for me this month. I had hoped to have Rainbow Boy done earlier than this, because I have one more miniature I really want to get to by month’s end…someone I’ve been dying to make for a long time. A return to Star Trek is also planned as Lieutenant Barclay has been patiently waiting to learn his fate for over a month, now! Just gotta find the time somewhere…

Monster May(hem) 2022 Roundup!

Well, another Monster May(hem) has come and gone; and once again, I am so happy to welcome everyone who participated, both out here in the blogosphere and on Instagram! After a glacial start to the month, I managed to crowbar in a few more monsters at the eleventh hour. Not the way I like to work, but it’s what life dealt me this month…

It was a Nolzur’s kinda year for me, as 75% of my submissions this year came from that exceptional (as far as monsters are concerned, anywway) line of miniatures. I posted my Manticore previously; but since then, I’ve completed three more miniatures, starting with this Cave Bear.

What’s that? Not a monster, you say? Merely an animal? Well, my Lamentations of the Flame Princess players might disagree with you, as they recently came face-to-slobbering-face with one of these, which happened to be rabid, to boot! That could have ended in a very different way, but they managed to drive it off in a hail of black powder and lead bullets!

I used mostly Citadel paints on this. The bear was primed black, then painted Mournfang Brown,, highlighted with Deathclaw Brown, then washed in a 50/50 mix of Agrax Earthshade and Nuln Oil, then drybrushed with Vallejo Ivory. A final wash in the recesses with some straight Nuln Oil and it was done. I used some Woodland Scenics leaves on the base and I think he looks ok (although not as fierce as the one in my game, perhaps).

Up next, this Venom Troll; the submission of which I have the most pictures, but the least to say. I actually bought this months ago because I thought it would look good as a boss zombie. I was going to paint her (?) with mottled, zombie-like flesh; but I decided to go with a standard-looking greenish troll instead.

Her skin tone was achieved by using two types of Vallejo greens washed in old GW yellow wash, then the recesses were done in Athonian Camoshade. Her gross pustules are dripping GW’s Nurgle Rot, but you can’t really see it against the skin. Oh, well.

Finally, I repainted a Wizkids factory paint job on perhaps my favorite Lovecraftian monster: The Great Race of Yith. Why should Matt hog all the Mythos monsters?

Here is what it looks like out of the box. (Of course I didn’t take a picture of my actual miniature first; but this is what they ALL look like.) Big surprise: the miniature is great, the paint job sucks. Pretty bland, and a far cry from Lovecraft’s description, which is: They seemed to be enormous iridescent cones, about ten feet high and ten feet wide at the base, and made up of some ridgy, scaly, semi-elastic matter. From their apexes projected four flexible, cylindrical members, each a foot thick, and of a ridgy substance like that of the cones themselves. These members were sometimes contracted almost to nothing, and sometimes extended to any distance up to about ten feet. Terminating two of them were enormous claws or nippers. At the end of a third were four red, trumpet-like appendages. The fourth terminated in an irregular yellowish globe some two feet in diameter and having three great dark eyes ranged along its central circumference. Surmounting this head were four slender grey stalks bearing flower-like appendages, whilst from its nether side dangled eight greenish antennae or tentacles. The great base of the central cone was fringed with a rubbery, grey substance which moved the whole entity through expansion and contraction.

I didn’t have the time to do much about the four slender stalks surmounting the head, but I could sure do a better paint job. Here it is, with a Pulp Figures reporter (a.k.a. hapless Mythos investigator) for scale.

I fell back on my old-school Tyranid scheme for the body. For the snakelike appendages, all I had to do was give him a thorough wash of Agrax Earthshade and Nuln Oil. The head was colored with Yellow Wash and the eyes painted black and given a coat of gloss varnish. I painted the claws black and drybrushed them crimson, and added some highlights to the pink trumpet thingy.

Inscrutable, isn’t it?

This is technically a repaint, but I’m calling this a submission, because it’s my challenge, so nyah nyah.

Here are the wonderful hobbyists who took part this year, along with a list of their impressive achievements. I will update this list over the course of the next week or so as the inevitable straggling entries make their way onto the web.

Jeremy, aka Carrion Crow; from Carrion Crow’s Buffet, has finished his Straw God from Crooked Dice miniatures! It looks smashing and boasts some impressive base work. Jeremy is hosting his own challenge this month, one I look forward to every year: Forgotten Heroes! Drop by his blog to check it out and join up! It’s a blast!

Roger from Rantings From Under the Wargames Table, sculpted Jason Voorhees from scratch; then did an amazing job and lavished much attention on the bony growths of a “Generation 1 Mutation” from Deadzone. I was unaware of this figure, but it’s awesome. I don’t play Deadzone, but I’m already thinking of a ton of uses for this beast in Supers or Scifi games. Well done, Roger!

As usual, I found it impossible to keep up with Matt from PM Painting. The guy never stops painting monsters (at least not in May). In order, Matt completed a Queen of Hell, an avatar of Hastur, some Hell Hounds, a Tomb Tapper, a Rock Troll, a swarm of Muccins, a Chaos Dragon Ogre, a Reaper Bathalian Centurian, an old-school Chaos Slaanesh rider and a Keeper of Secrets. I can’t say enough good things about them here, so I’ll just point you in the direction of Matt’s blog. Trust me, every one of them is worth a look. And a hearty thanks to Matt for really rolling up his sleeves (as he does every year).

Edit: Not content with letting his impressive tally stand, Matt also completed another submission after zero hour: a possessed Chaos Dreadnought for Warhammer 40K. It’s both a paint job and a conversion; Matt turned an old-school Space Marine Dreadnought (and I mean OLD SCHOOL, i.e. Rogue Trader-era) into a demonic war machine. It looks so cool!!!!

Azazel from Azazel’s Bitz Box is another inspiring overachiever; he started with a Burrowing Horror; then moved on to a Byakhee, some Earth Elementals, a Spawn of Ungoliant ( I love this one), a couple of Yetis and some Citadel ogres from one of my favorite sculptors, Bob Olley! He also managed to find time for a Chaos Minotaur and a Mordor Troll; but not before he did some incredible work on some Ghostbusters stuff: Gozer, Slimer, the Demon Dogs and yes, the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. (Jeremy, if you haven’t checked this out yet you’ll love it!) Thanks, Azazel; for showing up again this year and for really bringing it!

“Mr. Star Wars”; a.k.a. Dave from Wargames Terrain Workshop (I think that might stick, Dave) once again displayed his sculpting skills to great effect this year. Last year’s Krayt dragon was so incredible it deserves another mention here; but this year Dave scratch-built a TON Star Wars monsters (not in order): a purrgil (space whale); a blurrg, a sand ape and a sand bat, all from Tattooine; and a krykna (giant space-spider) that I think I saw on The Mandalorian. He also scratch-built and painted Ziro the Hutt, Jabba’s somewhat effeminate cousin who sounds like he’s from Louisiana. (I hear it, anyway.) And that’s just what he sculpted himself. He still found time to paint a pair of Wampas, gibbering horde and a chaos spawn. Dave: as always, lovely and inspirational work.

Tom from over on Instagram was back for a second year, contributing several monsters from various miniatures games: a “corrupted were-deer”, a werewolf, a gibbering mouther, and a (really disturbing) bug person. Check out Tom’s Instagram account; he’s another guy who never stops posting miniatures!

Thanks to all the newcomers this year! Jon from Jon’s Hobby Desk painted a big, gross Nurgle-thing called a Glottkin, and surprised us with a half-dozen giant spiders! That’s NINE monsters for Monster May(hem)! Think my math is wrong? Go visit Jon’s blog!

Simon, aka Blax the Kleric, from Fantorical Wargaming, completed a bevy of cool Crooked Dice miniatures, further rubbing my nose in how unfortunate I am to live in a country with no Crooked Dice stockist! In between various other projects, Simon painted a massive Mighty Simian, the popular-with-good-reason Straw God, and two Harryhausen-esque Bronze Titans! Lovely work, Simon! please come back next year!

And finally, Malcolm, also from Instagram, painted a Reaper basilisk and a Nolzur’s wyvern. Malcolm is a gaming buddy of mine who lives in far-away lands (i.e. the Midwest). I have a feeling we’ll see him around these parts again…

Please support these hobbyists by visiting their sites (or IG accounts; you don’t need an account to have a look) and leaving a comment or two. I count myself fortunate to know so many talented and welcoming people in our hobby!

So, what’s next here? Well, if all goes as planned, June will include a return to Star Trek to find out the fate of Lieutenant Barclay, as well as more Pop Culture. Oh, yeah…and there’s one more thing…

Forgotten Fucking Heroes.

I’m giddy. Giddy, I say!

Adventuring Cleric

For my Character of the Month, I decided to do a cleric. This is an old TSR miniature from the “Heroes” set, released in 1983.

I have made my derision plain regarding this era of D&D miniatures. There’s very little to like. Most of the TSR miniatures look stupid; scale is an afterthought; and they are made of a strange metal that does its damndest to repel paint. In short, they suck.

The Heroes set is the best of the TSR D&D boxed sets, though. Most of the miniatures in the set manage to not look completely like ass. I actually like this cleric, which is why I chose to paint him.

I’m not at all sure what that thing he’s holding is supposed to be, so I painted it like a candle or a lamp. Could be a weird holy symbol…who knows?

Back, foul thing!

Anyway, that’s for Tom’s #paintanadventuringparty challenge over on Instagram. My next post will be the rest of my Monster May(hem) efforts, as well as a round up of everyone else who contributed!

Monster May(hem) 2022: Manticore

Well, I finally got something done.

This is a manticore, from Nolzur’s Marvelous Miniatures. I really like this sculpt.

As my friend Jon, creator of the Tale of the Manticore podcast, is about to bring his first epic quest to a close; I thought I’d dedicate this miniature to him. I’ve hyped Tale of the Manticore on this site before (and likely will again). It’s an old-school rpg/dark fantasy podcast that’s not really like anything else. The perfect blend of storytelling and roleplaying, and it’s great to listen to when painting miniatures. You can find it anywhere you find podcasts.

Although I’m reasonably happy with the paint job on the manticore, I’m pretty meh about the base. I was in a hurry ( I had to get SOMETHING done, for Christ’s sake), and I didn’t put as much attention into it as I would like. It needs something, like the bones of a victim, perhaps…

Monster May(hem) continues apace, with many talented contributors both out in the blogosphere and on Instagram. Here’s the blogroll:

Jeremy, aka Carrion Crow; from Carrion Crow’s Buffet, has begun work on his Straw God from Crooked Dice miniatures. (Jeremy, you should absolutely check out Azazel’s work on those Ghostbusters devil-dogs! Link below.)

Roger from Rantings From Under the Wargames Table, has sculpted a wonderful Jason Voorhees from scratch, and painted him in his typical adroit manner! Ch-ch-ch-ha-ha-ha!!

Matt from PM Painting started things off with a Queen of Hell, then moved on to an avatar of Hastur, then to some Hell Hounds, then a Tomb Tapper, a Rock Troll, a swarm of Muccins and a Chaos Dragon Ogre! (He’s really lagging behind this year…)

Azazel from Azazel’s Bitz Box has completed a Burrowing Horror, a Byakhee, some Earth Elementals, a Spawn of Ungoliant that has to be seen to be believed; and those cool demon dogs from Ghostbusters! Way to go, Azazel!

Dave from Wargames Terrain Workshop (aka “Mr. Star Wars”) started with a pair of wampas and a Tattooine sand ape, then scratch-built a purrgil; then switched it up and painted a gibbering horde and a chaos spawn. Then he went back to Star Wars for a Tattoine sand bat, a scratch-built blurrg and (my favorite) a scratch-built Ziro the Hutt! Outstanding!

Tom from over on Instagram painted a “corrupted were-deer”, a werewolf, a gibbering mouther, and…something else… (a little help here, Tom). It’s a CMON miniature and it looks like a mosquito man…

and a few newcomers to Monster May(hem) this year:

Fellow Super Mission Force enthusiast Jon from Jon’s Hobby Desk, has begun work on a Glottkin, a big Nurgle-beastie!

Simon, aka Blax the Kleric, from Fantorical Wargaming, has completed the Straw God from Crooked Dice (that same one Carrion Crow is also working on), and has also finished another Crooked Dice miniature: the Giant Ape!

And Malcolm, also from Instagram, has painted a Reaper basilisk and a Nolzur’s wyvern! Cool stuff!

Please check out all these wonderful hobbyists. Visit their sites, drop them a comment or two, or just introduce yourself and say hello. The main reason I host this challenge is because it’s fun; but it’s also a great way to show support and inspire and showcase the work of other people!

I’m still hoping to get at least one more monster miniature done by the end of the month…fingers crossed!

How NOT to host a painting challenge

Greetings, all.

So, here we are: halfway through Monster May(hem) 2022 and what do I have to show thus far? Nothing.

Hardly inspiring, I know. Luckily, the rest of this month’s participants have picked up the slack, and have put out some amazing submissions thus far.

Here’s the blogroll:

Jeremy, aka Carrion Crow; from Carrion Crow’s Buffet, has begun work on his Straw God. Glad to have you back again, Jeremy; looking forward to next month’s Forgotten Heroes!

Roger from Rantings From Under the Wargames Table, not content to merely paint a monster, has begun work on sculpting a certain camp slasher with a penchant for hockey-masks…

Matt from PM Painting started things off with an amazingly-painted Queen of Hell, then moved on to an avatar of Hastur, then to some Hell Hounds, then a Tomb Tapper and finally (so far) a Rock Troll! And there are still two weeks left in the month. So much for Matt worrying he wouldn’t be as productive this year…

Azazel from his eponymous Azazel’s Bitz Box has completed a “Burrowing Horror” aka a Bulette (a popular submission from years past here on Monster May(hem); and a Byakhee! The Mythos always gets much love here!

Dave from Wargames Terrain Workshop always raises (and keeps) the bar high. This year he’s maintained his Star Wars theme from last year with a pair of wampas (wampae?) and a Tattooine sand ape, before moving on to scratch-build a purrgil (a sentient space whale) in the tradition of last year’s krayt dragon; then, being Dave, he moved on to some models for his GW demon army ( a gibbering horde and a chaos spawn) before returning once again to Tattoine for a sand bat! And yes, Dave, they all certainly count towards Monster May(hem)!

Tom from over on Instagram, has jumped in with both feet; submitting a “corrupted were-deer”, a werewolf, a gibbering mouther, and…something else… (a little help here, Tom). I don’t know what it is, but it looks nasty!

and a few newcomers to Monster May(hem) this year:

Fellow Super Mission Force enthusiast Jon from Jon’s Hobby Desk, has begun work on a Glottkin, a big Nurgle-beastie that simply looks hideous!

Simon, aka Blax the Kleric, from Fantorical Wargaming, is planning five large models this month, including the same Straw God from Crooked Dice that Carrion Crow is working on! (It’s a great miniature.) So far Simon has finished another Crooked Dice miniature: the Giant Ape! It’s awesome!

And my buddy Malcolm, also from Instagram, has completed a really cool blue basilisk model! Welcome to the party, Malcolm!

As for me, real life has gotten in the way of pretty much everything over the past two weeks. I’ve barely managed to basecoat one miniature and assemble another. I hope to have at least two entries done by the end of the month (far less than my usual MM output); but things are still moving slowly. I had to cancel my planned rpg session and I haven’t even had time to play the scenarios for the next leg of my Star Trek AAR series, even though the table has been set up for weeks!

My deepest apologies to everyone for not being here as much as I planned, and for not visiting your respective blogs to comment “in person”. Thanks to all who participate, and even though I’m not posting much, rest assured I’m definitely looking and will do another round up soon!

Happy painting!

Monster May(hem) 2022 Begins!

Just a short post to let everyone know that Monster May(hem) 2022 has officially begun! Here is our list of participants this year, in no particular order:

Jeremy, aka Carrion Crow; from Carrion Crow’s Buffet

Roger from Rantings From Under the Wargames Table

Matt from PM Painting

Azazel from his eponymous Azazel’s Bitz Box

Dave from Wargames Terrain Workshop

Tom from over on Instagram

and a couple of newcomers to Monster May(hem) this year:

Fellow Super Mission Force enthusiast) Jon from Jon’s Hobby Desk,

and Simon, aka Blax the Kleric, from Fantorical Wargaming!

And me, of course. As usual, I will update my blogroll as I post my own contributions, to point the way towards everyone’s great work! I have a few miniatures planned; but I’m not certain how many I will get through!

It’s not too late to join if you’re on the fence. Here are the rules, such as they are. Just let me know if you’re interested and I will add your name to the roster of painting heroes, and link to your site/account/ blog (ass appropriate).

Happy painting!