No monsters from me yet (big surprise), but I did paint this guy, who is obviously not a monster and does not count, but I thought I’d share him anyway. I paint a piper for every 100 posts I do in Instagram. This is my ninth piper, even though I have 800 posts, because my first post was a piper, too. Maybe I’ll post them all here sometime.
Incidentally, I’ve got some problems with this guy. First, he’s 3D printed. Second, he was digitally sculpted by someone who has no idea what a bagpiper looks like. This posture is appalling and unmanageable. Look at a photo, man. There’s a reason we use a cord to bind the drone pipes together. And lastly, the flames. The fucking flames.
Anyway, it’s a week into Monster May(hem), and here’s what you may have missed, First our list of participants this year. It’s still not too late to jump in, so I expect this list will get longer!
Simon, from Fantorical, has started work on a Banderhobb, a creature I am unfamiliar with but undeniably monstrous!
That’s it so far, but like I said, I have a few people who want to participate but can’t fully commit. And I can’t blame them. There are a lot of challenges run by lots of people out there. You gotta pick and choose which ones appeal to you most, and I’m always a big proponent of trying new stuff. So, if you want to give Monster May(hem) a pass in favor of something else, no sweat! It’ll be here next year!
That’s Death Dealer, a classic painting by the great Frank Frazetta, a print of which hangs on the wall of my basement / hobby space / criminal headquarters. You may be familiar with this image (if you’re not, you likely wandered here by mistake), but did you know that there was a series of novels written by James Silke (and Frank Frazetta) that gave this image a full-blown character, with adventures of his own?
First, I am a great admirer of Frazetta. He’s my favorite fantasy artist hands-down, and in a world where Larry Elmore, the late great Keith Parkinson, the Hildebrandt brothers, Denis Beauvais, Michael Whelan and John Howe all exist, that’s saying something (for me, at least). If you ask me who the greatest of the great is, it’s Frazetta. Period. The documentary about his life both before and after his strokes, Painting with Fire, released seven years prior to his death, is fucking phenomenal. In it, Frank is seen drawing with his left hand AFTER suffering a stroke that made it difficult for him to use his right hand, and it still looks amazing. You can (and should) watch it free on YouTube.
But, other than being the guy who envisioned this character and painted him, I am unclear how much influence Frazetta really had on the writing. Likely, not much. James Silke wrote the prose. It spanned a series of four novels, shown here.
These Tor paperbacks came out in the late 1980’s and now go for stupid money on eBay, likely because the rights are tied up in the Frazetta estate and haven’t been reprinted, although I have no firsthand knowledge if that is true. All I know is despite the cover damage to my Book 3, shown here, I could still sell these bad boys for a pretty penny. But I won’t.
So what is the story? Well, let’s see if I can remember, It’s been a while. At a time “before Atlantis”, a guy named Gath of Baal put on a horned helmet and couldn’t take it off. It made him pretty invincible, and let him breathe fire at times, but it was stuck permanently to his head. He fought against a horde of “barbarians” called Kitzaaks, which, IIRC, seemed to be a stand-in for not-Mongols (although if it’s pre-Atlantis, that’s not right…). Gath killed lots of people, and he could maybe get his helmet off if he fell in love. There was a female character named Robin Lakehair (I remember that dumb name to this day) who, again, IIRC (it’s been over 30 years since I read these), was innocent enough to remove his helmet. (Eyeroll). There was something about a super-sexy, almost-naked, voluptuous Frazetta-drawn woman with a big sabretooth tiger in there somewhere, and lots of blood and slaughter throughout. I remember being entertained, but I was also 16 when these came out. Maybe I’m wrong about these details, since it’s been so long. Maybe I should read them again.
Anyway, turns out even before the books, the amazing Frazetta art inspired a sculptor. This is Ral Partha’s classic Super Hero with Axe (01-015). I’m not sure who sculpted it, but it has the Dennis MIze look about it. He has a mounted version, too, which looks (actionably) like the famous Death Dealer painting, above. I don’t have that one.
This was one of Owen’s Miniatures, which, if you may recall, I stored for several years in the hope my friend would return to the miniatures-painting fold. Alas, he is lost to the hobby, so upon his request I transferred his vast collection of miniatures to his niece, now a gamer herself. I did not hesitate to pass the trove of minis on to the next generation, but I did keep a few. And this is one.
Gath of Baal, the Death Dealer.
1976. That’s an early one indeed.
But that’s only part of the story! It’s almost May, and that means MONSTER MAY(HEM) is back!!!
What is Monster May(hem)? Why, it’s the month you paint monsters, of course. Any monster will do, although it should be a proper MONSTER, something big and mean, like this Avatar of the Abyss I did last year. I mean something truly beastly; like an Elder God, a dragon, or even a rust monster. Your monster(s) doesn’t have to be strictly a fantasy miniature, and it may be any scale and from any manufacturer.
How many monsters you paint is up to you. The minimum is one, of course; but feel free to do as many as you like. The only caveat is that they get painted sometime in May. I will link to your stuff throughout the month, and (if it’s not there already) add your blog/website/social media to the blogroll on the side! If you don’t have a site of your own and still want to participate, I’ll happily host your pictures here and ensure you get proper attribution! So if you’re in, let me know in the comments below or reach out on Instagram. I’ll post the list of participants in the next post. Until then, go find some monsters to paint!
I bought a monster especially for Monster May(hem) this year, and I still have one unfinished on my desk from last year. Hope I can get to both!
Let me know if you want to take part by dropping a comment here or emailing me at angrypiper@angrypiper.com. Or, you could always DM me on Instagram @angrypiper.
Forced March is drawing to a close, and I’ve finally finished a unit of miniatures! These are Galacteers, from Hydra Miniatures, and I’ve had them for about fifteen years. In fact, my first posts on this site were some War Rocket ships, Galacteers and Imperials, and I’ve previously painted some Galacteer characters (you can see them at the end). These guys are just the rank-and-file scrubs, complete with a heavy weapon.
Started out by priming them white, figuring I’d paint all the other colors around the white uniforms and just highlight up. Easy, right? Well, yeah. Maybe once upon a time. But these took much longer to paint because I kept fucking up and getting paint on the white parts, so, by the time I got to the white, I had a lot to fix. Damn these eyes!
Still, not too shabby when they’re all painted up, and completing them after all this time means I have no more Hydra miniatures outstanding in the pile of shame. This gives me a feeling of accomplishment I haven’t felt since finishing off my Pulp Figures years ago.
Here’s an image of the squad with all the Hydra characters in the front row. Done!
But of course, I am not the only one taking part in Forced March! Below find the other participants and their awesome submissions. As usual, if I forgot someone or something, let me know and I will certainly correct it. Like any “real life” forced march, I expect some stragglers over the next few days (I might even be one of them!). Be sure to drop by these blogs/accounts and lend your support!
Simon, from Fantorical, completed a unit of Uruk-Hai crossbowmen (crossboworcs?), some Alien Legionnaires and is working on some Beastmen, both of these from Crooked Dice (a company I wish I could patronize more)
Dave, from Wargames Terrain Workshop has been busy indeed, with a squad of Star Wars Imperial Scout Troopers, some old-school metal Space Marine Scouts, a squadron of Space Marine Speeders, and some Star Wars Imperial Stormtroopers! Add in some Wookies and a few more Space Marines and a unit of Raptors, and you’ve got a typical month of painting for Dave. The man is a machine!
Roger, from Rantings From Under the Wargames Table, painted a unit of Forge Fathers (Mantic Squats), and then did a unit of Plague Zombies! Awesome, Roger!
Azazel, from Azazel’s Bitz Box, paints so much stuff all the time that I’m not even sure he painted anything for Forced March! If so, I can’t find it, so LMK if I’m wrong, Azazel!
Tom, from Good Ground, painted a squad of Iron Warriors Space Marines!
And the Instagram crowd:
James, @spoontasticminis has been painting Emperor’s Children Space Marines all month, which more than qualify for Forced March.
Sabrina, @Uthwulfsminis is working on a squad of Space Marine Beakies that she has dubbed the “Pumpkin Spice” marines. Whether that’s an official chapter name or blasphemous heresy is for the Emperor to decide.
A newcomer this year, @horridperson, is a hobbyist close to my heart, as they have been working on tons of Star Trek miniatures lately! And even though they said they forgot about Forced March, they painted enough miniatures to make a unit: the Commune, a TOS-era reimagining of the Borg. Very cool! (I need to play some Star Trek miniatures games again).
@groddsnods did what he does best, converted and painted some Heroclix into a unit of Steve Ditko’s Madmen! This could have easily been an entry for Forgotten Heroes, too…but I’m sure we’ll see more awesome stuff in June!
And that’s another challenge sorted. I was hoping to get at least one more unit done, but that doesn’t seem likely. They might show up a few days into April, though, so check back soon! Monster May(hem) will be here before you know it!
We’re in the thick of it now, folks! Forced March continues with some lovely submissions from seemingly everyone but me, but rest assured I am working on my first infantry unit and should have it posted soon. For now, a quick recap of the participants and their submissions thus far. As always, please let me know if I’ve missed anyone!
Simon, from Fantorical, is working on a unit of Uruk-Hai crossbowmen (crossboworcs?)
Dave, from Wargames Terrain Workshop has been busy indeed, with a squad of Star Wars Imperial Scout Troopers, some old-school metal Space Marine Scouts, a squadron of Space Marine Speeders, and some Star Wars Imperial Stormtroopers, to boot! Dave always brings his A game to every challenge and this one is no exception!
Be sure to check out these very creative folks and their impressive efforts!
I’ve been late with my submissions because I’ve been bogged down in a project since December that was originally supposed to be completed by the end of the year. I knew if I paused mid-way to work on Forced March, I would likely never return to it, so I made myself finish before doing anything else. I present The Honeyacre Militia!
These are Halflings from Wargames Atlantic. They do NOT count for Forced March, because I started them in December. Particularly attentive visitors to this site may recognize five of these fellows from a couple of years ago, when I painted up a sprue that came free with my copy of Miniature Wargames magazine. I always liked the way they looked, they paint up nicely, and so I bought a box of them last year, figuring I’d throw them together and use them in my never-to-be-completed-or-played Empire army. Instead, I made a militia based on a settlement of Halflings in my current AD&D campaign.
It is a failure of my character that I often do things against my best interests, knowing myself as I do. For example, I have posted that I have no patience for plastic, and yet I bought and assembled 40 plastic halflings on a whim that soon became a millstone around my neck. (Yes, I still have 20 more of these motherfuckers to paint. Not happening soon.) My lack of patience has not changed, but I still really like the look of these models when assembled and painted, so hopefully this will be worth it in the end.
You can arm your halflings with spears/halberds, slings or bows, and there are individual bits available for character models. The spears are long and look great, but they’re also quite fragile with a tendency to break, which is a bummer. Between the militia and the other, unpainted unit of halflings I used up all my spears, only to have 2 of them break about halfway down the shaft, so I guess now I have two (unpainted) halflings armed with quarterstaffs.
These halflings armed with slings are pretty cool. They made me realize I have very few miniatures armed with slings.
I used the bows the least, although I like the look of the archers very much. The hero with the horn was painted a few years ago, part of the original five (the other four were spearmen).
I guess the spears are long enough to double as standards if you wanted to add a banner, but it would have been nice to have a dedicated banner pole in the box. There is a little bit that looks like a chicken that may be intended to replace the spear tip for this purpose, but I didn’t use it.
I gave my hero an old GW shield, because the shields that come on the sprue are laughably tiny.
Honeyacre is known for its mead, hence the shield device. Painting a bee freehand on a shield the size of a dime is a skill I no longer possess, if ever I had it.
A closeup of the heroes.
Like I said, these don’t count towards my challenge this month, but now that I’m free of these halflings at last, I’m available to start on my first infantry unit for Forced March: some miniatures that harken back to the earliest days of Dead Dick’s Tavern!
Nothing from me yet, although work continues apace on that long-delayed project from December. I have primed, based and readied two small units for eventual painting this month. Meanwhile, have a look at some of the other participants, because stuff is already rolling in! Drop by their sites and lend some support and encouragement!
These are all the participants thus far, along with any Forced March submissions I am aware of. If I missed anything (or anyone), let me know!
Dave, from Wargames Terrain Workshop has done a squad of Imperial Scout Troopers. Like all Dave’s stuff, especially his Star Wars stuff, they’re awesome!
A newcomer this year, whose name I do not know, but who has thus far not lived up to their namesake, @horridperson
And a latecomer to the challenge (it’s never too late), @groddsnods, who I just bet will be joining us for Forgotten Heroes in June, too!
Whatever these folks do, whether for Forced March or not, is worth a look. You won’t find a more supportive and inspiring group of hobbyists out there. Check them out.
This week began with a blizzard here in Massachusetts that dumped a ridiculous amount of snow on us in roughly 24 hours. Although we knew it was coming, the actual snowfall far exceeded projections. We are a state that doesn’t tremble at the thought of snow. It’s hardly our first (or even our hundredth) rodeo.
Still, this was a cast-iron bitch of a storm, and although it ended on Monday evening, it will take weeks to clean up. My town got close to 40″ of snow, but the drifts in my yard were well above five feet. It took me a full day to snow blow and shovel my driveway and property, and at 53 years of age, let me tell you it sure sucked. There’s no parking anywhere in the city where I work (it got more snow than I did), so I stayed home most of the week. So did everyone else.
You would think that would give me plenty of time to focus on my hobbies, but not really. I was so exhausted and sore that I just wanted to sit there and not move. After gripping a snowblower all day, it’s not like I could hold a paintbrush steady, either.
But that’s over, and March approaches. Time to get the units ready for painting. “Forced March” is upon us!
Here is a list of all those who have confirmed they are participating in my new challenge, which, as a reminder, is to paint a unit of infantry or cavalry in the month of March. Any scale, any genre…but I define a unit as “more than one model belonging to a group designed to deploy and function together in combat.” While technically units can be a single model (such as a vehicle, artillery piece or a monster), I’m hoping for at least three models.
But of course, there aren’t any miniature painting police here, so do what you want.
A newcomer this year, whose name I do not know, but who has thus far not lived up to their namesake, @horridperson!
If I missed anyone, or if anyone else wants to take part, you need only let me know in the comments below, or drop me an an email at angrypiper@angrypiper.com, or PM me on Instagram @angrypiper. I will add your name and website/IG account (if applicable) to the blogroll forthwith! If you don’t have either of those and still want to take part, no problem! I’ll host your images here on this very site.
Let’s get priming (if you haven’t done so already)!
I’m still working on a project I started in December with the intent of finishing by the end of 2025. As you can see, that hasn’t happened. I just can’t seem to paint for long periods of time, and this project contains 20 miniatures. (That’s half of what was originally planned, by the way.)
Painting such a large number of miniatures is something I haven’t done in a long time, and it got me thinking about starting a new challenge for March, entitled, appropriately enough, “Forced March”. What are the rules?
Paint an infantry or cavalry unit in March. This can be any size unit, although I feel like it should be more than a one-model unit (like a giant, for example). Vehicles are allowed, but again, preferably more than one. So, a squad of Eldar jet bikes is fine, but a Leman Russ is just being lazy. This can be for any game and in any scale.
So these Dwarfs would work.
Ditto for these Klingons.
Or these Colonial Marines.
Or even the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They’re a unit, too, right?
Let me know if you want to participate and as usual, I’ll link your blog/site/Instagram account when the challenge commences! At the rate I’m painting, I likely won’t be doing anything too ambitious, myself. I’m hoping another challenge might kick me in the pants and jazz me up, because Monster May(hem) will be here before you know it!
I promised a closer look at some of the miniatures featured in my (mostly unplayed) board games, and here they are.
First, the eight heroes from Touch of Evil. These are some nice miniatures, roughly 28mm scale, suitable for any gaslight setting. The definition is much better than my blurry photography would suggest.
I like these a lot, and it wouldn’t be an overwhelming project to get them painted if I could just park my ass at my painting desk for more than five minutes at a stretch. Up next, the miniatures from Batman: Gotham City Under Siege:
L-R: Catwoman, Batgirl, Robin, Batman, and Commissioner Gordon and Officer Montoya. This game is based on The Animated Series, in case that’s not obvious from the sculpts. Painting these will be fun, and I’m definitely going to do it soon. I really like the Gordon/Montoya miniature. Too bad there’s no Detective Bullock.
Marvel: United! is a game that got a lot of hype when it released, mainly for the cute miniatures:
L-R: Black Widow, Iron Man, Captain America, Hulk, Storm (with mohawk!)…
L-R: Venom (odd choice), Ant Man and the Villains: Red Skull, Taskmaster and Ultron. This game was a Cool Mini Or Not Kickstarter, and it funded quickly and with a ton of stretch goals, which were additional miniature sets that you could not purchase anywhere else. As a result, there are additional miniatures for this game that sell for ridiculous amounts of money on the secondary market. I picked up this core box at Wal-Mart for $15, IIRC, and that’s about as much as I want to spend on this game. Do I really need a cute Fantastic Four expansion? Not for $140 I don’t.
Wonder Woman: Challenge of the Amazons has some awesome miniatures, well worth the $10 I paid for this game at Ollie’s. Like the Batman game above, this is on my short list of projects to paint (for whatever that’s worth nowadays).
Look at this sculpt of Diana. Freakin’ sweet, right?
Mansions of Madness has some amazing miniatures, all scaled at 32mm. Here’s a shot of some of the investigators and a couple of monsters, but the big Eldritch Horrors contained in this box aren’t featured on the box itself, which is a shame because my box remains sealed at the moment. This would be a big project to paint, and TBH I don’t know if I have it in me. I played the game before and it’s a lot of fun, but I think this may languish forever in the unpainted pile of shame, much like Space Hulk.
And now we reach game expansions for games I do not own (and never will), purchased solely for the miniatures contained inside. These were deeply discounted clearance items at Miniature Market (I paid $6 for the Solomon Kane expansion, a game that I’d actually purchase if the core set wasn’t prohibitively expensive).
First, some expansions for The Others, a game I know nothing about but one that has some cool futuristic/horror/pulp figures, as seen below.
Next: the aforementioned Solomon Kane expansion: Castle of the Devil. I’d say $2 a miniature is about right, especially when one of them is whatever the hell that thing is supposed to be. It almost made it into Monster May(hem) this year.
Finally, a couple of expansions for Yashima, an Asian fantasy-themed game. I like the miniatures, and I have a long -stalled Legend of the Five Rings/Samurai project that I will likely never get to, so I bought these because they’re cool. I think I paid $2 apiece for these expansions during one of Miniature Market’s “up to 90% off” clearance sales.
A couple more games bought solely for the miniatures, although both of these seem very playable: Journey: Wrath of Demons and Age of Thieves.
These are the heroes from Journey. I think this makes the third or fourth Sun WuKong miniature that I own.
These are the bad guys. IIRC, some of the demons are anatomically correct, which may offend some folks who don’t like dicks on their miniatures.
Above are the miniatures from Age of Thieves. You get 24 of the blue guards, which are quite serviceable for town guards (because that’s what they are). The other four are the thief characters you play in the game. Some cool character concepts here.
And that about rounds out my board game pile of shame. Hoping to get back into painting soon, but for whatever reason I’ve lost my mojo again. I seem to be incapable of choosing colors anymore, or for painting more than five minutes at a stretch. It’s not worth the time to set everything up. Any of you ever have this problem?
Nyarlathotep… the crawling chaos… I am the last… I will tell the audient void…
For my second submission for Monster May(hem) 2025: I present a classic Grenadier miniature from 1985: Nyarlathotep (also known as the “Spawning Horror” once Grenadier stopped making Call of Cthulhu miniatures). I’ve had this miniature since it was released, so it’s great to free it from my pile of shame!
As you can see, the miniature is sculpted on a long, narrow base. I found a circular base wide enough to mount the miniature with no overhang, but that left a lot of extra space, so I added a few rocky bits with some green stuff before priming. I intended to make this a lava base, as Nyarlathotep, being the Messenger of the Great Old Ones, probably hangs out in inhospitable locales and wouldn’t be bothered all that much by lava.
Then I changed my mind and decided to make it a foul, swampy base, complete with Vallejo Water Effects you somehow can’t see in these pictures, but trust me, they’re there.
There’s a weird part of his back that I didn’t know how to paint, so I decided to make it the “three-lobed burning eye” referenced in Lovecraft’s story The Haunter in the Dark. Trouble was, there is an obvious slit in the middle which makes a “three-lobed eye” look dumb, so I just made it a big eye. Not totally happy with it, but whatever.
Nyarlathotep is the Lovecraftian Outer God that has the most interaction with humans, as he derives pleasure from corrupting and tormenting humanity. He offers forbidden knowledge and eldritch power in exchange for worship and depravity. Nyarlathotep is rumored to have over 1000 forms, including this one, known as the God of the Bloody Tongue, but he’s also happy to take human form as needed.
This miniature is actually pretty small, probably because it’s 25mm scale. If it were made today I’m sure it would be much larger, considering this form of Nyarlathotep is usually about the size of a house.
And finally, here’s a better look at the base. I’m glad I went with swamp over lava, but I’m annoyed my water effects aren’t visible in the pictures.
Monster May(hem) is at the halfway point, and we have some great stuff so far! Check out all our participants and their contributions so far!
Monster May(hem) continues until the end of May. I’m hoping to do at least one more, hopefully two. I’m keeping up with submissions and will post them here as they drop! Thanks to all!
My first submission for Monster May(hem) 2025 is this thing: the Avatar of the Abyss.
This miniature is from B=Sieged, a game released by Cool Mini or Not back in 2015. I don’t play B-Sieged and never have, but on one of my Miniature Market binges I tacked this guy onto my order as, IIRC, he was only like two bucks, probably because no one else ever played B-Sieged, either. CMON is notorious for releasing games and then abandoning them, so their miniatures often find themselves in online clearance bins. (They make some pretty good miniatures, so it’s often worth the wait.)
Anyway, I would have no reason whatsoever to paint this miniature were it not for Monster May(hem). I thought about which colors to choose for far too long before I just settled on painting him like the box art.
I’m not totally happy with the color transition on the abdomen. My guess is he’s meant to be belching forth fire or something. I used a wet-blending technique but I kind of rushed it. It will do, but it’s far from perfect.
This is one of the many miniatures I have collected over the years that I have no planned use for, had no real intention of painting, certainly did not need and probably shouldn’t have spent the money on (even though it was dirt cheap). That being said, he’s not bad-looking all painted up, and he took me less than two hours total to paint.
I kept the basing simple: just a grey drybrush over some black paint, with a few Army Painter scorched tufts thrown on for good measure.
One down, and at least one (or two) more to go. I have another miniature I’ve had since the late 80’s I want to paint, and another I’ve had for almost 15 years that I was going to get rid of, but decided to keep. (That one looks like a cast-iron bitch to assemble, though, so we’ll see if I can summon the patience.) And then, there’s that Dragon I was supposed to paint last year that I never got around to…
Here is the blogroll of participants thus far, meaning those who have let me know they want to take part. From the blogosphere:
Dave, from Wargames Terrain Workshop, painted a Dewback (I was considering painting one of these myself, Dave!), and if I know Dave, he’s not done yet;
If nothing else, this random miniature from my pile of shame has got me painting again, so that’s something. Looking forward to seeing what everyone does! I’ll update this list periodically, but don’t let that stop you from checking out all these blogs and IG accounts yourself. As always, there’s a lot of talent here!
