Superman (S): Hello, come in. Please, sit down. The Crimson Hound, is it?
The Crimson Hound (CH): Yep, that’s me.
Wonder Woman (WW): Greetings. Thank you for coming in.
CH: No problem.
S: So, er…uh…Mr. Hound…you’re applying for League membership.
CH: That’s right.
Batman (B): Take your feet off the table.
CH: Oh. Sorry.
S: We’ve reviewed your resume, and we have a few questions.
CH: Shoot, Supes. I’m an open book.
WW: Well, it seems as though you haven’t been active in some time. You last superhero job was…well, almost a full year ago.
CH: Yeah. Well, there was that stuff around Christmas, but that wasn’t “official”. Anyway, I’ve been taking it easy. You know, having a nice long soak in the bubble bath that is me.
CH: Yeah. A vacation. I mean, everyone needs a break now and then, Bats. You can’t expect to be a force of vengeance and justice every day, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You’d have to be batshit crazy–a really obsessive asshole– to do that. Am I right or what?
WW: Um…anyway, what do you think you bring to the team? How do you usually deal with evildoers?
S: We encounter a lot of evildoers, you know. It’s important we can work as a team.
CH: Yeah, I assumed. Well, I usually strike terror in their hearts, then I beat the living shit out of them.
S: Right…ummm…ok…well…that’s great, but…
WW: It’s just that…uh…
B: That’s what I do. That’s my thing.
CH: Oh. Sorry. I should have explained better. By “beat the shit out of them”, I mean I rip off their heads with my bare hands, then I drink their blood.
CH: So, do I get the job?
It’s been a while since my buddy Bruno has published any new Crimson Hound content on YouTube. This is me, slapping him in the face with the metaphorical glove.
I love ya, Bruno.