Roger from Rantings From Under the Wargames Table has slapped me (and other bloggers) across the face with his glove, and while I usually like that sort of thing (especially from Roger), it has served to remind me that I have neglected both Dead Dick’s Tavern and other blogs that I used to patronize frequently. Roger rails against allowing blogging to die quietly in favor of the like/share crowd, that our posts are and should remain more substantive and thoughtful than a 10 second reel or a YouTube thumbnail of a channel host giving the Home Alone face to something we’re supposed to be outraged or excited about. And, as is often the case with Roger, he’s right.
It’s been over four months since my last post, and I wish I could say it’s because I’ve been too busy with my hobby to post about everything I’ve been doing, but that would be a level of bullshit that I am incapable of. The truth is rather that I (along with many of my friends, family and fellow Americans) have been having a rough time of it lately. My British friends would call it the Black Dog, here we just call it what it is: Depression. I’ve never suffered from it before, but I’ve worked in the mental health field for over thirty years, and even without the training that bestows, I recognize the signs and symptoms in me now, chief among them social withdrawal and a lack of interest and motivation in the things that once brought me happiness. Things like painting, gaming and blogging.
Recently, I’ve been reminded that I am called The Angry Piper for a reason, because in the last month I have blown my stack twice, going from calm, collected and–dare I say normal–to explosive rage, all within the span of a few seconds. It’s like I turned into the Hulk. The first time was when I was accosted outside a local market by a person collecting signatures to put an item on the Massachusetts state ballot: a fairly common occurrence. When I asked what the item was, I was informed it was to require voter identification to, and here’s a verbatim quote: “to make sure the people who are voting are the right people.” Just in case you don’t know who he thinks the right people are, you can assume he meant people like him (and me): white, middle-aged guys. It probably came as a shock to him when I told him to go fuck himself, and to tell me he’s a racist piece of shit without telling me he’s a racist piece of shit. He told me to have a nice day and I flipped him the bird as I walked away.
The second time is a bit of a long story, so I’ll be brief. While visiting a store I patronize frequently, I had occasion to help a family who needed help. It cost me very little to do so and I would do it again, not just because ’tis the season and all that shit but because it’s basic human decency to be kind to people as the rule, not the exception. The family was grateful and I l wished them a Merry Christmas and left the store. When I got out to my car, I realized I forgot something and needed to go back inside, and when I did, I found the store employees badgering and berating this same family for reasons I still don’t understand. Cue my second transformation into the Hulk. I asked them (yelled, really) if they would be giving me any shit if it was me instead of these people, and surprise! I got nothing but sullen looks in return. Once they begrudgingly served the family, I told these assholes to fuck off, put the stuff I was going to buy on the counter and told them I would never shop there again. And I haven’t.
It costs nothing to be kind to people, but this is where we are now. After both these instances, I tried to understand what set me off so quickly. How and why did I go from zero to gamma rage in seconds? It’s because I’m just done with it all, and I’m not the only one. (Disclaimer: Dead Dick’s Tavern is rarely a political blog. Just because I chose to share my thoughts on recent events here does not mean I am interested in defending my position or beliefs or arguing with anyone who feels differently. If that’s your intent, fuck off out of here, because I’ve heard enough of your shit to last a lifetime. Have a nice day.)
Not really what I wanted to talk about, or (I’m sure) what Roger had in mind, but there’s my explanation for my absence both here and elsewhere. I just don’t have much energy anymore. I’m still active on Instagram, but like here, I barely post anything because I have nothing to post. I still make a conscious effort to drop words of encouragement and appreciation on others’ posts, because it’s quick and easy, and, as I’ve said, it costs nothing to be kind. Much like the blogs Roger references, the hobby community over there is very supportive and welcoming.
But Roger’s right (that’s twice, for those who are counting). Blogs are where we dive into the nitty-gritty of our shared hobby, and we can’t let them die. So, I’ll do my part and repost the blogs Roger called out by name. Visit them. Read them. Follow them if so inclined. I am humbled and grateful that Dead Dick’s Tavern made the cut, considering my prolonged MIA period.
So, here’s Roger’s list:
Dead Dicks Tavern (Hey, that’s me!)
War Through The Ages & Other Dark horrors
And Roger’s blog, Rantings From Under the Wargames Table
I would add Jon’s Hobby Desk to that mix as well.
Even though I haven’t painted much, I have painted SOME stuff, and I will share it in my next post. Back to miniatures and hobby stuff from here on out.
And thanks, Roger.
Great to see a post from you mate, can understand the the 0 to rage machine very well, it’s something people with chronic pain suffer with all the time, plus situations like that would make a saint swear.
Look forward to seeing more posts from you soon, and hope you feel better, always at the end of an email, if you need to chat mate.
Thanks, Dave. Same to you, my friend. Next post will be more in line with my usual stuff, just thought I’d explain my disappearance.
Long time reader, likely first time commenter. I could have written most of this post about myself, except 30 years in IT instead of your 30 years in mental health.
It’s so hard seeing people I thought were good people sliding further and further to the right. I always wondered how so many Germans in WW2 could turn a blind eye to what was happening in their country but now I’m seeing it first hand and it is hard to watch.
Like you, I know I’m depressed because I’ve been there before. This time it is different because for the first time I’m not sure that it’s an irrational response to what’s going on. I know I should probably tune out national/word news and focus more on things that bring me joy, but I’m not sure it’s possible to escape the fact that there is still a significant portion of friends/family who are supporting what is happening in our country.
Thanks for the blogs, I’m going to compare them to the blogs I follow and add any I’m missing to my feed reader. Also, good luck and know that you aren’t alone, I feel like the majority of us don’t like what’s going on, but there isn’t much we can do about it until the next election.
Thank you for your comment, and for reading my blog. There was a time not long ago where the thought of America invading Greenland and starting a war with NATO would have been utterly absurd. And then there’s now.
Anyway, thank Roger, not me, for the curated list of hobby blogs and for getting me off my ass to write this post. He’s a good egg, that guy. Drop by again sometime!