I’m so done with this shit.

2 Replies

Threads, Instagram’s sister app, is basically a clone of Twitter (or X nowadays). I don’t use it, but periodically, Instagram will send me threads they think will be of interest to me. Here’s one I got. I’m not naming the original poster, because I think they’re a fucking idiot, and I don’t want to draw any more attention to them and/or be responsible for any harassment that may occur. If you decide to look this thread up, do not harass this person. They can’t help being a fucking moron. They’ve bought into the bullshit that has permeated our culture, and I’m so fucking done with it. I was very tempted to respond to this thread directly rather than in a blog post, but I’m so fucking annoyed I would have exhausted the word count. Despite the fact that I’m screaming into the void here, as no one who regularly reads this blog is likely to disagree with me and even if they do, it’s unlikely this post will change their mind, I still felt the need to vent about this.

So congratulations to the original poster. They have awoken a part of me I thought long buried, the actual anger in The Angry Piper. Here is their post, verbatim:

Currently unpacking, and I’m wondering: what do I do with my books by Neil Gaiman? I’d packed them up long before the allegations broke or I would have dealt with them earlier.

Keeping on the shelf them (sic) feels wrong, selling them feels wrong, and destroying them feels fundamentally wrong.

Chuck them in a corner of the basement and forget about them? Put them in the trash/recycling?

Jesus Christ. This is such a “Look at Me” post. Let’s dive in.

For those who don’t know who Neil Gaiman is, Google him. I can’t be bothered to list everything the man has written in comics and fiction over the last forty years, but his most famous works include Sandman, for DC comics, Coraline, Good Omens, Neverwhere and American Gods, all of which have been adapted to film and/or television. He’s a British author widely considered to be one of the greatest contemporary fantasists working today. He’s also recently been accused of sexual assault and abuse by two separate women with whom he was in consensual relationships, a former nanny and a former fan.

First: I’m not saying Neil Gaiman is innocent. Neither am I saying he’s guilty, because as of this writing, those allegations are still allegations. Nothing has been proven. If it turns out Neil Gaiman is a fucking creep, he should face the consequences for his actions, like anyone else who is guilty of criminal activity (except, apparently, our last president).

Second: assuming he’s guilty (which I do not assume, nor do I assume he’s innocent), what would you gain by getting rid of your Gaiman books? You already bought them and presumably read them, and presumably LIKED them, because you have more than one book by him. Throwing out books you already paid for isn’t going to hurt Neil Gaiman. He already got your money, you fucking moron. All you’re doing is throwing out books.

Third: how many authors are you holding to this standard? Edgar Allan Poe married his thirteen year-old cousin. Mark Twain named one of his main characters the N word. H.P. Lovecraft and Robert E. Howard were both unapologetic racists. Harlan Ellison grabbed a woman’s breast at an awards ceremony “as a joke”. Ernest Hemingway was Ernest Hemingway, for fuck’s sake. And that’s just the American authors I can rattle off the top of my head who have done shitty things. So, to the original poster, feel free to weed your shelves of all the books by any author who has done something that might offend someone, and let me know how many books you have left, you insufferable douchebag.

You see, the problem with this, to me, is this person likely votes the same way I do. They’re left wing. They’re liberal. Know why I know this? Because no right-winger here in the US is going to want to cancel Neil Gaiman for “grabbing her by the pussy” when their own fucking demagogue said he proudly does exactly that and gets away with it because he’s a celebrity. I mean, that would be fucking hypocritical, right? But they expect me to share this ridiculous world-view, that anything that doesn’t conform directly with the ideals of the censor-happy left wing should be cancelled, In short, I’m liberal, but I’m not liberal enough. Fuck you.

Whether Neil Gaiman did exactly what he’s accused of or not, the point is people need to fucking start separating the art from the artist, because this is fucking stupid. It’s ok to find someone morally reprehensible, but you can still enjoy or respect their work. I’ve used this example elsewhere, but I’ll recycle it. O.J. Simpson is widely believed to have murdered 2 people and gotten away with it. He’s also one of the greatest running backs in NFL history. If I gave the smallest shit about sports, I would be impressed by that, and that’s ok, because I’m not impressed with the whole double murder thing. I’m appalled by that.

Everyone knows what Roman Polanski did, yet he still made Chinatown and Rosemary’s Baby and is widely considered one of the best living film directors. Are those films suddenly not good? Should we ban them and burn all copies of them? What about everyone else who worked on those films? The actors, the crew, the producers. Is all their work invalidated by the shitty and repugnant thing Polanski did? Polanski can’t set foot in the US because the second he does, he’s going to jail. He’s the one who should be held accountable for his actions, not his movies.

It is my opinion that Mel Gibson is a raging anti-Semite, that much is clear to me. I’m not, but does that mean I can’t watch The Road Warrior ever again? Fuck no. I don’t care about Mel Gibson, but I like Mad Max. Harvey Weinstein is a piece of shit who deserves to rot in prison (because it was PROVEN he was guilty of the crimes he was accused of), but his production company made some fantastic movies over decades. Should no one ever watch those again? And don’t get me started on Michael Jackson. Although, to my knowledge, nothing’s been officially proven, we all have our suspicions that a lot of sketchy shit went down. If that’s the case, Michael Jackson, were he still alive, should face trial, prosecution and punishment for any and all proven crimes he committed, just like anyone else. But that doesn’t suddenly not make him the King of Pop, who revolutionized music and dance and inspired generations of artists. And I’m not even a fan of his music. Listen to the radio lately? It’s not like they’re taking his songs off the air.

A person can be two things. A person can be more than two things. Some of those things can be really shitty, repugnant or even criminal. Others can be praiseworthy. One doesn’t automatically negate the other.

So, back to the OP and their “Look at Me” bullshit. Do they really need to ask the Threads community what to do with their Neil Gaiman books, or are they that fucking indecisive that they can’t make a decision? Aren’t they really just showing everyone how enlightened they are, by declaring they want nothing to do with Neil Gaiman because he allegedly sexually assaulted two women? Well, bravo, OP. You’re one of the good ones. Just getting out in front by being one of the first to destroy everything you own by him as a statement of your convictions? OK, we got the point. You’re no fence-sitter. You take a stand. Everyone will pat you on the back, once they decide for you the best way to dispose of your books. Should you recycle them by removing the covers and dropping them on the compost heap? Should you sell them and donate the funds to a charity that supports victims of sexual assault? Should you donate them to a library? Oh, hell no. That would mean they would be available to anyone who might want to read them, and reading books by a bad person only perpetuates the badness. Maybe you should join a school board and make sure no child ever reads Coraline or The Wolves in the Walls again. Then take it to the next step and join the town council and get rid of any of Gaiman’s books in the public library. As a liberal, that should fucking horrify you. But it doesn’t, right? Because cancel culture is ok as long as you’re the one doing the canceling.

By the way, was he found guilty yet, or are you just assuming he is?

The comments in response to the OPs post are overwhelmingly supportive, offering suggestions on what to do with the dreaded and foul Gaiman books now that they simply must be dealt with, because remember, the OP is incapable of deciding this for themselves. They need and crave the support of the community at large, because they need to feel validated in their opinions. They want everyone to know they’re not in favor of authors who sexually exploit people, even though that is hardly a controversial stance to take, and it hasn’t actually been proven yet in Gaiman’s case. Again, he may very well be guilty, and I’m not saying he’s innocent. But he might be.

Those comments that actually question the OP’s viewpoint are pathetically apologetic for doing so. To paraphrase several comments: “I don’t want to offend you, but he hasn’t been convicted yet. Are you really doing anything by getting rid of his books? You already paid for them, so it’s not going to hurt him financially. Sorry if this was rude.”

WHY THE FUCK are you apologizing for questioning something that’s clearly fucking ridiculous? You have a viewpoint. You don’t need to apologize to someone whose viewpoint you disagree with. That’s called disagreement. It used to happen all the time without the need to apologize.

What the fuck happened to us?

Forgotten Heroes 2024: Bee-Man!!!!

This book is a boon for Forgotten Heroes enthusiasts. The heroes contained herein are indeed forgotten, and usually for good reason. This book gave me the impetus to construct Rainbow Boy a couple of years ago, and it delivered again this year.

May I present: Bee-Man! Never heard of Bee-Man? Me neither! That’s because he lasted a total of 2 issues, printed before my time, in 1966. That’s it. He’s probably in the public domain, because I can’t imagine anyone giving a shit about Bee-Man.

Barry E. Eames (clever, right?) sabotages a rocket ship that is landing after being out in space, collecting cosmic samples, Eames hopes to make a quick buck by selling whatever’s inside. What’s inside turns out to be angry space bees, who drag him back into space after stinging him a lot.

Bee- Man returns to Earth, intent on resuming his criminal ways, now armed with the advanced technology of the space bees. He has a huge, beehive-shaped “secret lair”, from which he hatches his criminal plans to steal gold, radium and honey. Really. But in the second issue, Bee-Man allies himself with the FBI, to fight against the space bees’ plans to enslave humanity.

There was no third issue.

To make Bee-Man, I used these two Heroclix miniatures, a Para-Demon and the Wasp. I removed the Para-Demon’s jetpack and axe, and replaced the jetpack with the Wasp’s wings. I sculpted his bee-helmet, but there was no way I was gonna do his antennae. Too small, and beyond my skill.

Then, it was just a matter of repainting him to look like Bee-Man. And that’s what I did.

Looks not bad, right?

I managed to get this one in in the late hours of Forgotten Heroes this year. Looking forward to the Season of Scenery!

Forgotten Heroes 2024: Grendel

Grendel, created by Matt Wagner, is a complicated character with a rich comic history. Rumor has it they recently filmed most of a Netflix series only to pull the plug last minute (which is a dick move).

There have been many people to assume the mantle of Grendel, starting with billionaire author-turned-bored-guy-turned-assassin-turned-criminal-kingpin Hunter Rose. Rose is unquestionably not a hero. He’s more of a sociopath who does things for no apparent reason–like take over the criminal underworld or adopt a child–simply because he can. He’s able to use much more of his mental capacity than most normal humans, and he’s an extremely skilled combatant and acrobat whose favored weapon is a two-tined fork of his own design.

To make the Hunter Rose version of Grendel, I was at a bit of a loss, as Rose is pretty lightly-built, and most superheroes are jacked. Since I knew I couldn’t very well sculpt one from scratch, I chose this version of Daredevil, mainly for the pose but also because I thought I could work with it best. I rebased him first, then covered the DD on the chest and his lips with some Vallejo White Stone landscape paste, filed down the horns, clipped off the billy-club holster, and completely repositioned his arm. I tried to make his clothes look more loose-fitting with some green stuff. I made the fork from plasticard (once again, my old health insurance card) and the handle of a Mantic dwarf warhammer. Then I painted him up.

Here he is. Like I said, he’s a lot beefier than Hunter Rose, but he’s unmistakably Grendel.

You can still see the DD on the chest if you look hard enough, but otherwise, I’m ok with him.

I added the head-ties too. Forgot about that.

I have one more submission for Forgotten Heroes planned, but no idea whether I will get to it in time or not. I’m definitely doing it, though; even if it has to come in early July. With six days to go, I should be ok.

Forgotten Heroes 2024: Judomaster

My first Forgotten Heroes submission this year is none other than:

I was going through my comics the other day and was surprised to find this, as I don’t remember buying it. I’m a sucker for kung-fu comics, so I guess I’m not surprised after all. This is the only Judomaster comic I own and I’ve never heard of the character, so that’s “Forgotten Heroes” enough for me.

I looked up his story: Judomaster was a sergeant in WWII in the Pacific theatre. At some point, he saved a girl. The father of the girl he saved taught him judo as thanks. That’s it.

The character was originally a Charlton comics character, and most of those ended up owned by DC comics. DC never did very much with Judomaster before killing him off in the Infinite Crisis storyline by having Bane break his back. Judomaster is no Batman, so he died.

You figure he’d be tougher, since he’s apparently REALLY good at judo:

They don’t give costumes like that to just anyone, after all.

To make Judomaster I used Iron Fist as a base miniature. Can’t really do better than this.

Rebased and repainted, he looks like this.

I somehow overlooked the fact that Judomaster wears a black belt (of course he does), and I didn’t want to sculpt one after I painted him, so I just painted the belt on.

I hope to do at least one more miniature this year, possibly two. I do so love this challenge!

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Before diving into Forgotten Heroes, I thought I’d post an update on the TSR Indiana Jones miniatures I started back in April. I’ve finally completed the set, having painted all the characters from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I’m actually quite proud of that, as completed projects are a rarity in the Angry Piper’s basement.

Let’s start with the bad guys. L-R: a Thugee cultist, Mola Ram, Chattar Lal and the Mine Guard.

Kind of a lame bunch. Chattar Lal was the quickest miniature to paint in the entire set, for obvious reasons.

I’m pretty happy with Mola Ram, the cultist and the guard. Chattar Lal I could take or leave. He’s a pretty shitty miniature.

Onto the heroes: Indiana Jones (painted back in April), Short Round and the insufferable Willie Scott.

I hate the Willie Scott miniature, and not just because I hate Willie Scott. It’s a terrible facial sculpt. I’m certainly not happy with the paint job, but underneath the paint that’s her face. It looks every bit as puffy and misshapen bare as it does with paint on it. This miniature was by far the miniature that took longest to paint, mostly because she sat on my desk untouched for weeks, but also because I kept trying to fix her face until I realized I can’t; and I hate the miniature anyway, so why bother anymore?

Short Round’s jacket is painted navy blue, but it looks black here. Weird. Anyway, he was a quick paint job.

I’ll likely never play with these miniatures, but I figure there aren’t too many people who have a fully painted TSR Indiana Jones miniature set, and I’m one.

Now, onto Forgotten Heroes. I am scrapping my original idea and moving on to something else. Now I just need to comb the ‘clix boxes to see if I can find a suitable base miniature.

Monster May(hem) 2024: The Wrap-Up (and The Red Terror)

Monster May(hem) 2024 draws to a close, and if you’ve been keeping up with the blogroll, you’ve seen some pretty great submissions from everyone who participated. I planned on doing three separate monsters this year, but fate (a.k.a. the “Honey-Do” List) has conspired to make that impossible. But, as the immortal Meatloaf reminds us, two out of three ain’t bad.

For my second (and final) submission, I painted a Tyranid miniature I didn’t even know I owned: The Red Terror! I got this miniature in a big bag o’ bitz I purchased from some guy off Craigslist. Turns out it had all the parts necessary to make this miniature, so…score, I guess.

Since he’s so…red…I wanted to have a bit of contrast between the model and the base. I think I achieved that, but I also hate the way it looks. I’m considering removing the Tyranid bits from the base and just going with a more traditional base. What do you think?

I painted the Red Terror to look like the rest of my Tyranid army, which is straight out of the 1990’s (which is the last time I actually played them, I think). Not a great photo, but I’m not setting up the army again to take a new one.

Here’s the list of this year’s participants and their submissions. Keep in mind there may be some late ones trickling in over the next few days (there always are), so I’ll keep this updated as I become aware of any.

  • Simon, from Fantorical, is working on some big Laputian Robot Troopers;
  • Dave Stone, from Wargames Terrain Workshop, completed a Balrog, a Mumakil, and scratch-built the man-eating plant from Little Shop of Horrors (he also did a ton of other, non-Monster May(hem) stuff this month, all of it awesome!); and because he’s THE Dave Stone, he also submitted a last-minute MM entry:at the 11th Hour: a wooden dragon gifted to him by his children some 20 years ago. It looks wonderful, and fulfills both the Monster May(hem) AND Year of the Dragon challenge in one fell swoop! Swoop, Dave! Swoop!
  • Jon, from Jon’s Hobby Desk, did a bunch of Japanese-themed Yokai miniatures from the Cool Mini or Not game, Rising Sun. I’m a huge fan of Yokai, ,and I have to say my favorite miniature Jon’s has to be the River Dragon, followed by the Yurei. Jon did a dragon, so he met the criteria for the Year of the Dragon challenge, too. Way to go, Jon! Check out all his miniatures at his blog!
  • Snapfit, from Da Green Horde, did an awesome and terrifying Brutgoth (a big monster that orcs ride);
  • Matt, from PM Painting, painted a female daemon of Nurgle, called “The Cultivator”.

And these folks from Instagram:

  • Tom, @The_Goodground, did some miniatures for Legion Imperialis: a Tzeench Lord of Change and a kitbashed miniature, “The Phoenician” (sorry, Tom, I know nothing about LI, but the minis look great!);
  • Malcolm, @mdcampbell_dunwichcreatives, has completed a Gloranthan Dragonsnail and a Tidal Lurker, and also waxed philosophical about one of the first miniatures he painted, the dreaded Mimic;
  • James, @spoontasticminis did a pair of Tyranid Carnifexes, including an old-school, all-metal screamer-killer, and they look friggin’ fantastic;
  • and finally, Sabrina, @Uthwulfsminis. not only rose to the Monster May(hem) challenge, but also the Year of the Dragon challenge by painting THE Dragon: Vermithrax from the film Dragonslayer! Way to bring your A Game on your first MM, Sabrina!!!

Be sure to check out everyone’s blog/website/account and lend them your support! Thanks to everyone who took part. I am always inspired by everyone’s creativity, which is one of the reasons I host this challenge every year!

So, what’s next? Well, June is traditionally the month for Forgotten Heroes, hosted by the legendary Carrion Crow; but one has seen nary a feather from our avian friend here on the blogosphere for quite some time. Most likely, he is on Barsoom again, bounding across the red dunes towards a willowy Martian princess (or possibly two, we all know the Crow has appetites), wearing only a sword belt and slippers, his thick, bronzed thews glistening in the Martian sun. Could it be he has forgotten about Forgotten Heroes? If so, will anyone pick up the torch and host the challenge? I, for one, will be carrying on in spirit!

Monster May(hem) 2024: Wampas!

Or is it Wampi? Wampae? Who cares.

I figured Monster May(hem) is as good a time as any to return to my Imperial Assault project, which, like many of my projects, I seem to have forgotten about for a while. To be honest, I’ve been playing a lot of Star Wars video games lately (Jedi: Fallen Order and Jedi:Survivor), so I have the galaxy far, far away on the brain. Time to paint another boxed set, and I chose Return to Hoth, because t contains Wampas.

Sadly, these two Wampas are the only two “monsters’ in the box, so the rest will have to wait for some paint for a bit.

Now, I could have chose to paint the Jabba’s Realm box instead, as it contains the Rancor, but I couldn’t bring myself to paint the sets out of order. Because I’m sick like that.

Anyway, 11 days in, and this is all I’ve painted so far. In that time, Dave Stone has already painted a Balrog and a frikkin’ Mumakil, and both look amazing, as per usual for Dave. Check out everyone else’s blog/IG account and lend them your support!

This year’s participants are:

And these folks from Instagram:

I have at least two more entries planned, one being a Games Workshop miniature I didn’t realize I owned, and another a miniature I sought out on the secondary market purely for its name. Stay tuned!

Let the May(hem) Commence!

It’s May 1st, which makes it officially Monster May(hem)!!! Gentlefolk, paint your monsters!

Griffon, from the first ever Monster May(hem), 2018

This year’s participants, as of today, May 1st (or as you Brits would incorrectly say, 1st May) are as follows:

Also, some friends from Instagram have returned for another year:

And, for joining MM for the first time, some Instagram friends who previously participated in Forgotten Heroes:

Don’t see your name here? That’s because you haven’t told me you want to participate this year. It’s certainly not too late (it never really is), so if you want in, let me know in the comments below, drop me an an email at angrypiper@angrypiper.com, or PM me on Instagram @angrypiper. I will add your name and website/IG account (if applicable) to the blogroll forthwith! If you don’t have either of those and still want to take part, no problem! I’ll host your images here on this very site.

My Discord server has been a bit barren lately since I stopped running RPGs, but I plan on making every effort to be in The Paint Pit this month while I work on my monsters. That’s usually between the hours of 5:30-7:30 PM (EST) on weekdays here in the States, and anytime I can get to myself on the weekends when I don’t have errands to run or surprise plans or projects that aren’t my projects suddenly becoming my projects (IYKYK). Can’t promise I’ll be there every day, but if I’m not, feel free to hang out and meet some of the other participants, if so inclined. Don’t have an invitation to my Discord server and want one? Read this first, and then contact me.

Now what the hell are you waiting for? Go paint some monsters! There’s only 30 .5 days left (less if you’re in Europe)!

Lo! Monster May(hem) 2024 Doth Approach!

Venom Troll from Monster May(hem) 2022

It’s only a few more days to the start of my sixth annual Monster May(hem) Painting Challenge! Do you have your monsters picked out yet?

Does the Alien Queen count as a monster? You bet!

What is Monster May(hem)? Why, it’s the month you paint monsters, of course. Any monster will do, although it should be a proper MONSTER, something big and mean. I mean something truly beastly; like a cockatrice or a byakhee or a giant, mutated zombie bear. Your monster(s) doesn’t have to be strictly a fantasy miniature, and it may be any scale and from any manufacturer. I will link to your stuff throughout the month, and (if it’s not there already) add your blog/website/social media to the blogroll on the side! If you don’t have a site of your own and still want to participate, I’ll happily host your pictures here and ensure you get proper attribution!

How many monsters you paint is up to you. The minimum is one, of course; but feel free to do as many as you like. The only caveat is that they get painted sometime in May.

Blacksting the Wyvern, from Monster May(hem) 2021

But wait! There’s more! 2024 is also the Year of the Dragon, and in celebration of my nonexistent Chinese heritage I am hosting yet ANOTHER painting challenge all year long. You guessed it! It involves painting at least one dragon over the course of the year. Dragons are monsters, so if you paint a dragon miniature in May, it counts for BOTH challenges!!

So, who is down for some Monster May(hem)???

Indiana Jones: Sands of Adventure

I picked up this board game not too long ago, and I decided to paint the miniatures as part of my “Paint 100 Miniatures You Already Own Before Buying Anything New” challenge to myself. As of my last post, I had only painted two miniatures so far this year. Pretty dismal output, but hopefully that’s on the upswing.

As you can see, these miniatures aren’t too bad. They’re about 40mm or so, but don’t quote me on that as I didn’t actually measure them. The game is based on the first (and best) Indiana Jones movie: Raiders of the Lost Ark. You can play as Indy, Marion, Sallah, or Marcus Brody (who else were they gonna choose, Jock?).

Here are my painted versions.

I’m mostly happy with them, except I might need to tidy up Indy’s raccoon eyes a bit. The astute among you may notice this game (which I haven’t played) comes with some kind of apparatus for tipping the hourglass, which presumably contains the eponymous Sands of Adventure. I plan on painting this too, maybe as part of the Season of Scenery.

But wait! There’s more! Not one to miss an opportunity, I decided that while I was painting these, I could paint their smaller counterparts, i.e., these old Indiana Jones TSR Miniatures from 1985. After all, I was using the right colors already…

As you can see, most of these miniatures suck. They’re also made of that shitty metal TSR used in their miniatures line. I have railed about this shitty metal before, that it’s prone to metal rot and seemingly defies paint. The miniatures I have are actually rot-free (so far), so I wasted no time in priming and rebasing them.

Anyone else notice Indy can tie his shoes without bending over? Look at the arms on him!

The boxed set contains miniatures from the first two movies. I decided to paint the Raiders miniatures first. I’ll get to Temple of Doom soon. The first three were conveniently also part of the Sands of Adventure game, so I painted them right alongside each other.

Some folks will never have their face melted off for gazing upon the true face of God, and then there’s these three: L-R: Colonel Deitrich, Belloq and Toht. I lost count of how many times I re-primed and painted Toht’s hat brim. Damn thing just didn’t want to accept paint at all.

This little project brought my total painted miniatures this year from 2 to 12 (so far). Still not a great output, but I’m on my way. In other news, I’m also challenging myself to “Read 100 Books You Own Before You Buy Any New Books”. I’m on book 22 so far, and I’m reading stuff that’s been on my to-be-read shelf for years (in some cases, decades), so I seem to be doing better at that.