Tag Archives: Games Workshop

Board Game Blues: Part 1: Games I’ve Played

This is my gaming table. There are many like it, but this one is mine. I rarely use it for gaming, at least with other humans. I normally use it as a platform upon which my stuff accumulates, until I get yelled at or break down and tidy up. I did the latter recently, and was left with a spotless platform from which to exhibit the ridiculous amount of board games I’ve bought, most within the last 5 years. The dimensions of this table are 6′ by 4′. I say that so you can look at the picture above, and understand that all my board games are not shown in there.

I have a lot of board games, some with miniatures, some not. I acquired most of these during the pandemic, when spending money on stuff made me feel a little better about the world ending while our leaders (well, one anyway) said vaccines are untrustworthy but injecting bleach into yourself is the way to go. Anyway, this post is about those games, why I bought them, whether or not I played them, whether or not I hope to, whether or not I think I ever will, and whether or not I regret the purchase.

Disclaimer: I have been taught (and I agree) that it is gauche to flaunt one’s wealth. That’s not what this post is about. While board games are not cheap, I am most certainly not wealthy. Most of these games were not purchased for full price, but rather at deep discounts and on clearance from Miniature Market and Amazon. While I bought some of these games because I found them affordable at the time, it doesn’t mean I should have.Think of me as the poster boy for poor impulse control and fiscal irresponsibility rather than Richie Rich (who is the single worst cartoon character ever, and that includes Woody Woodpecker, who is an absolute kick in the balls every fucking time).

Let’s start with a game I purchased well before the pandemic, one I’ve actually played a lot and one I enjoy so much I went all in on it. This is Arkham Horror (2nd edition) by Fantasy Flight Games. My understanding is there is a very popular third edition out now, and it plays differently and contains miniatures. Still not enough for me to buy it, as I never even play this edition anymore. It’s a lot of fun, but like many games nowadays it takes forever to set up.

Two more Cthulhu-themed games from Fantasy Flight: Mansions of Madness (lots of awesome miniatures in here) and Elder Sign. Although my copy of Mansions of Madness is still in the shrink-wrap (a pandemic purchase), I have played the game at a friend’s house. I remember it being fun, but we lost. Elder Sign is a game where you roll special dice to get matching results to defeat challenges. It’s ok, but the mobile app game is better and plays faster. I think I played the board game once.

Another one I went all in on, and another one that takes forever to set up: Star Wars: Imperial Assault. The miniatures are great (but expensive) and the “board” is made up of tiles arranged as a map, like Space Hulk. I played it twice, mainly because it takes so long to set up that playing through more than one scenario results in a lot of downtime as the map is broken down and the map for the next scenario is built. It’s fun, but that part is a real bummer. Gameplay is similar to Mansions of Madness, in the sense that you have a clear objective and the enemies are just there to slow you down. I’m steadily working my way through painting the miniatures and expansions for this game, because I need to justify its purchase. I have the core set, Bespin Gambit and Twin Shadows expansions completed along with all the blister releases that coincide with the boxed sets, and I’m presently working on Return to Hoth. The boxed sets on the right above are still in the wrap. These got cheap once Fantasy Flight discontinued Imperial Assault and focused on Legion, so I bought most of the expansion boxes during lockdown. Will I play it again? I hope so. It would be fun to play with painted miniatures.

Speaking of Space Hulk, here’s the 2009 third edition that I purchased in 2009. I love Space Hulk and I love this version, but I haven’t played much of it because I wanted to paint the miniatures first. Sixteen years later, I haven’t painted a single one. The miniatures are exceptional sculpts, but sadly, the Terminators are Blood Angels (my least favorite chapter, as I hate red) and I painted so many Genestealers back in the 90’s that I am unenthused to paint any more. Will I play it? Maybe. It’s fun. But unpainted miniatures irk me.

Last, another pre-pandemic purchase that I’ve played a few times: Marvel Heroes, again by Fantasy Flight. Tough to find now. You take the role of one of the superhero teams (Avengers, Fantastic Four, X-Men and the Marvel Knights) and also take the role of one of your opposing team’s nemesis. Your objective is to complete missions while your nemesis seeks to mess with you and complete their own schemes. The miniatures are pre-painted and pretty nice, but the rulebook is hard to understand. IIRC, there’s a multi-page FAQ that addresses unclear rules. Of course, this document is no longer available anywhere since Fantasy Flight lost the license to this game years ago and no longer supports it. Will I play it again? Sure, if I get a chance. It was fun and doesn’t take forever to set up.

That about wraps up part one. There are other games I own that I have played, but they’re lumped in pictures with games I haven’t, so I’ll address them individually in a later post.

I took the month of July off unintentionally. Just seemed to fly by. I haven’t painted any miniatures since my last Forgotten Heroes submission. One of my miniatures that I planned for Monster May(hem) is still sitting on my painting table, halfway done. I really should get back to him.

Monster May(hem) 2025: Avatar of the Abyss

My first submission for Monster May(hem) 2025 is this thing: the Avatar of the Abyss.

This miniature is from B=Sieged, a game released by Cool Mini or Not back in 2015. I don’t play B-Sieged and never have, but on one of my Miniature Market binges I tacked this guy onto my order as, IIRC, he was only like two bucks, probably because no one else ever played B-Sieged, either. CMON is notorious for releasing games and then abandoning them, so their miniatures often find themselves in online clearance bins. (They make some pretty good miniatures, so it’s often worth the wait.)

Anyway, I would have no reason whatsoever to paint this miniature were it not for Monster May(hem). I thought about which colors to choose for far too long before I just settled on painting him like the box art.

I’m not totally happy with the color transition on the abdomen. My guess is he’s meant to be belching forth fire or something. I used a wet-blending technique but I kind of rushed it. It will do, but it’s far from perfect.

This is one of the many miniatures I have collected over the years that I have no planned use for, had no real intention of painting, certainly did not need and probably shouldn’t have spent the money on (even though it was dirt cheap). That being said, he’s not bad-looking all painted up, and he took me less than two hours total to paint.

I kept the basing simple: just a grey drybrush over some black paint, with a few Army Painter scorched tufts thrown on for good measure.

One down, and at least one (or two) more to go. I have another miniature I’ve had since the late 80’s I want to paint, and another I’ve had for almost 15 years that I was going to get rid of, but decided to keep. (That one looks like a cast-iron bitch to assemble, though, so we’ll see if I can summon the patience.) And then, there’s that Dragon I was supposed to paint last year that I never got around to…

Here is the blogroll of participants thus far, meaning those who have let me know they want to take part. From the blogosphere:

And from Instagram:

If nothing else, this random miniature from my pile of shame has got me painting again, so that’s something. Looking forward to seeing what everyone does! I’ll update this list periodically, but don’t let that stop you from checking out all these blogs and IG accounts yourself. As always, there’s a lot of talent here!

Halloween Horrors

My painting output for 2024 has been somewhat dismal, but I managed to get eight miniatures done this month. Because of the season, I chose to focus on some spooky-themed minis.

First up, a miniature I’m certain many of you will recognize: Isabella Von Carstein, by Games Workshop. I’ve had this miniature since her release in the early 90’s, back when Warhammer Fantasy Undead weren’t split into two armies (Vampire Counts and Tomb Kings). It was just Undead back then. I recall not liking the miniature all that much, and if I recall, her points cost didn’t justify using her in the army, therefore she has languished unpainted these few decades.

As I was painting her last night and this morning, she began to grow on me. I kind of like her now. Maybe it’s because she’s the only Fantasy miniature I’ve painted all year. (Still need to do that dragon.) Aside from painting all the Indiana Jones TSR miniatures and taking part in Monster May(hem) and Forgotten Heroes, I’ve mainly focused on painting miniatures from board games. I did Indiana Jones: Sands of Adventure and Alien: Fate of the Nostromo earlier.

This month I completed Horrified, by Ravensburger Games, released in 2019. This is the original version of the game, featuring the Universal Monsters. There have been several other releases featuring monsters from European and American folklore, one featuring monsters from Greek Mythology, and one featuring Cryptids. Some of the miniatures in those variants are pretty cool, but not cool enough for me to buy the same game more than once, especially since I haven’t played it yet.

Here’s a group shot.

The Creature From the Black Lagoon (1954). One of my favorite Universal Monster movies. This film is 70 years old this year, and watching Julie Adams in a swimsuit still makes my heart flutter, even if it is in black & white.

The Bride of Frankenstein (1935). My favorite miniature in the game. Elsa Lanchester has almost 100 acting credits to her name, yet she could never escape being the Bride of Frankenstein. It’s probably the best Universal Monster movie of all. The 1985 “remake”, The Bride, featuring Sting and Jennifer Beals, is also really good. Plus, it has Clancy Brown as The Monster!

The Wolf Man (1941). I just watched this the other day. If I’ve ever seen it before, it must have been as a young child. It was a bit of a slog, truth be told, even though it’s only a little over an hour long. I didn’t know that Lon Chaney Jr. was such a big guy, nor did I know that Bela Lugosi was in this movie, too!

Dracula (1931). And speaking of Bela Lugosi, he’s my favorite Dracula, although Christopher Lee is a close second. This miniature is good, but it has the annoying trait of being bent forward. I’ve tried to straighten him with the hot water/freezer trick and I thought it worked, but a couple of days later he was bent again. Of course that was after I painted him, so I can’t very well try the hot water thing again.

Frankenstein (1931) I love this sculpt of The Monster. He was also pretty easy to paint. It’s been a few years since I’ve last seen the film, but I remember enjoying it quite a bit. Although nothing like The Monster in Shelley’s novel, Boris Karloff’s portrayal is iconic. I also like the Kenneth Branagh/Robert De Niro remake from 1994. Am I alone?

The Invisible Man (1933). I know Claude Rains was the Invisible Man, but that’s only from Science Fiction Double Feature, the theme song to The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I’ve never actually seen this one, not the original, anyway. The 2020 remake featuring Elizabeth Moss was very good. Still, I’m gonna watch this one tonight, because it’s currently on Prime.

The Mummy (1932). A year after he was Frankenstein’s Monster, Boris Karloff was The Mummy. Another one I haven’t seen. Since it’s also on Prime, maybe I’ll go home from work early today and make it a double feature.

I can procrastinate no more. I must get started on my dragon for the Year of the Dragon challenge. At least I have finally decided which dragon I will paint. It’s going to be my main project for November, and then I think I will try to finish up some more board game miniatures before next year.

Monster May(hem) 2024: The Wrap-Up (and The Red Terror)

Monster May(hem) 2024 draws to a close, and if you’ve been keeping up with the blogroll, you’ve seen some pretty great submissions from everyone who participated. I planned on doing three separate monsters this year, but fate (a.k.a. the “Honey-Do” List) has conspired to make that impossible. But, as the immortal Meatloaf reminds us, two out of three ain’t bad.

For my second (and final) submission, I painted a Tyranid miniature I didn’t even know I owned: The Red Terror! I got this miniature in a big bag o’ bitz I purchased from some guy off Craigslist. Turns out it had all the parts necessary to make this miniature, so…score, I guess.

Since he’s so…red…I wanted to have a bit of contrast between the model and the base. I think I achieved that, but I also hate the way it looks. I’m considering removing the Tyranid bits from the base and just going with a more traditional base. What do you think?

I painted the Red Terror to look like the rest of my Tyranid army, which is straight out of the 1990’s (which is the last time I actually played them, I think). Not a great photo, but I’m not setting up the army again to take a new one.

Here’s the list of this year’s participants and their submissions. Keep in mind there may be some late ones trickling in over the next few days (there always are), so I’ll keep this updated as I become aware of any.

  • Simon, from Fantorical, is working on some big Laputian Robot Troopers;
  • Dave Stone, from Wargames Terrain Workshop, completed a Balrog, a Mumakil, and scratch-built the man-eating plant from Little Shop of Horrors (he also did a ton of other, non-Monster May(hem) stuff this month, all of it awesome!); and because he’s THE Dave Stone, he also submitted a last-minute MM entry:at the 11th Hour: a wooden dragon gifted to him by his children some 20 years ago. It looks wonderful, and fulfills both the Monster May(hem) AND Year of the Dragon challenge in one fell swoop! Swoop, Dave! Swoop!
  • Jon, from Jon’s Hobby Desk, did a bunch of Japanese-themed Yokai miniatures from the Cool Mini or Not game, Rising Sun. I’m a huge fan of Yokai, ,and I have to say my favorite miniature Jon’s has to be the River Dragon, followed by the Yurei. Jon did a dragon, so he met the criteria for the Year of the Dragon challenge, too. Way to go, Jon! Check out all his miniatures at his blog!
  • Snapfit, from Da Green Horde, did an awesome and terrifying Brutgoth (a big monster that orcs ride);
  • Matt, from PM Painting, painted a female daemon of Nurgle, called “The Cultivator”.

And these folks from Instagram:

  • Tom, @The_Goodground, did some miniatures for Legion Imperialis: a Tzeench Lord of Change and a kitbashed miniature, “The Phoenician” (sorry, Tom, I know nothing about LI, but the minis look great!);
  • Malcolm, @mdcampbell_dunwichcreatives, has completed a Gloranthan Dragonsnail and a Tidal Lurker, and also waxed philosophical about one of the first miniatures he painted, the dreaded Mimic;
  • James, @spoontasticminis did a pair of Tyranid Carnifexes, including an old-school, all-metal screamer-killer, and they look friggin’ fantastic;
  • and finally, Sabrina, @Uthwulfsminis. not only rose to the Monster May(hem) challenge, but also the Year of the Dragon challenge by painting THE Dragon: Vermithrax from the film Dragonslayer! Way to bring your A Game on your first MM, Sabrina!!!

Be sure to check out everyone’s blog/website/account and lend them your support! Thanks to everyone who took part. I am always inspired by everyone’s creativity, which is one of the reasons I host this challenge every year!

So, what’s next? Well, June is traditionally the month for Forgotten Heroes, hosted by the legendary Carrion Crow; but one has seen nary a feather from our avian friend here on the blogosphere for quite some time. Most likely, he is on Barsoom again, bounding across the red dunes towards a willowy Martian princess (or possibly two, we all know the Crow has appetites), wearing only a sword belt and slippers, his thick, bronzed thews glistening in the Martian sun. Could it be he has forgotten about Forgotten Heroes? If so, will anyone pick up the torch and host the challenge? I, for one, will be carrying on in spirit!

Character of the Month 2021 Review

Well, I did it. I wasn’t always on time, but I managed to get all 12 Dungeons & Dragons character classes painted, along with backstories (mostly), over the course of 2021. I figured I’d do a quick recap with handy-dandy links to review all my characters before my next post, in which I will discuss my 2022 Resolitions and my plans for Dead Dick’s Tavern in the coming year.

While all the core classes are here, I opted only for “classic” D&D fantasy races. Upon looking at these, I see that Humans, Elves, Half-Elves, Halflings, and Half-Orcs are all here. (I can’t believe I somehow forgot to include Gnomes and my favorite fantasy race of all, Dwarves. How’d that happen?) Newer gamers may notice I ignored most of the current races utterly. Thus there are no Aarakocra, Aasimar, Dragonborn, Genasi, Goliaths, Kenku, Kitsune, Tieflings, Tortles, Tabaxi, or fucking Warforged represented here, among others. That’s tough shit. I chose what I chose. The reason for this is simple: I don’t like them.

If you like the abovementioned races and any I didn’t mention, and feel that my exclusion is an injustice and affront, feel free to make or submit your own Character of the Month (see below). I get it. I’m old. I dislike the new stuff. I don’t understand the youth of today. You may even think I’m a racist because I don’t like Harefolk. But, since none of the races above, including Harefolk, actually fucking exist, I’m not too concerned about it.

Anyway, here’s the recap, month by month:

  1. January: Kurn Velden, Cleric (War Priest; Avatars of War) Shortest backstory. I was finding my voice.

2. February: Aramise Del’Arco, Fighter (Rhaine, Duelist; Reaper Miniatures) First late entry. Not off to a good start.

3. March: Raphinfel “the Adored”, Wizard (Lamann, Sorcerer; Reaper Miniatures) Not my character; he’s from Tale of the Manticore, a podcast you should absolutely be listening to if you’re not.

4. April: Doval Lakatos, Bard (Rupert Carvolo, Piper of Ord, Privateer Press) Probably my favorite miniature of the year, for obvious, bagpipe-related reasons.

5. May: Darl Mandos, Sorcerer (Del Briarberry, Halfling Wizard: Reaper Miniatures) One of my favorite stories, featuring the dastardly Tom the Winker.

6. June: Berjotr Skaldisson, Barbarian (Barbarian Axeman of Icingstead; Reaper Miniatures) Based loosely on a friend’s character, also a fun story to write.

7. July: Sarapen Moonsilver, Druid (Juliana, Herbalist; Reaper Miniatures) I get the most compliments on this one, probably because of her base.

8. August: Reverend Mother Mara, Paladin (Mother Superior; Reaper Miniatures) I took the inspiration from her backstory from an article I read (in Dragon, I think) about a character who evicted undead from a family manor by posting the eviction notice on her shield and clearing house. Always thought that was fun.

9. Chloe the Rat, Ranger (Vermina, Rat Queen; Reaper Miniatures) My least favorite miniature and backstory. Just didn’t seem to come together for me. YMMV. She was also late.

10. Bak Mai, Monk (Ogre, Wizards of the Coast D&D Silver Anniversary Collection) The backstory wrote itself. I like the miniature, too.

11. Karsa the Unbound, Warlock (Dark Elf Sorceress, Games Workshop) Another late one. Painted on time, but the backstory was a tough slog.

12. Braska Triskelion, Rogue (Deadly Gamesman, Black Scorpion Miniatures) One of the miniatures I’ve owned the longest; I was glad to get him done. Painting black and white is kind of boring and tedious, though.

The biggest challenge I ran into with this…uh…challenge was writing the backstories in time. Sometimes they came pretty easily (Aramise Del’Arco, Bak Mai); others weren’t so easy (Sarapen Moonsilver, Karsa the Unbound). Lucky for me, this isn’t going to be a problem going forward.

Turns out my buddy Tom (who used to have a blog but doesn’t anymore) is going to host this same challenge on Instagram this year. I told him I will take part, of course; but that I am going to use it as an excuse to paint some old-school lead. I will post my submissions here as well, so expect a lot of Grenadier and Ral Partha miniatures to show up at Dead Dick’s Tavern in 2022. The character backstories are a pain in the ass, though, so I’m not going to bother with them. I know this may make some of you sad (which is actually quite flattering), but the time spent on them is a factor; and I just don’t have it.

Anyway, hope this recap allows you to quickly revisit your favorites or check out any you may have missed. New post soon on plans for 2022!

Karsa the Unbound, Warlock

Man, I need to hire a cleaning crew.

Dead Dick’s Tavern is a sight. Looks like I left the tap dripping, and the scent of stale beer has mingled with the smell of cobbler’s wax, sarcasm and vomit. Looks like someone threw up in the corner. Wasn’t me (this time). I’d say I must have overlooked that on my way out; but TBH I didn’t really feel like dealing with it back then, and I didn’t expect to be gone for over a month. Guess what? It’s still here.

It is nice to be missed, though; and apparently my uncharacteristic absence from the blogosphere was concerning enough that a couple of you reached out. Thanks for that. I am fine, just buried and beset at all sides by real life stuff.

I’m back now, though; with a new Character of the Month. This time, it’s a Warlock.

Put simply, she would not be owned.

Karsa was six when the armies of the human Duke invaded her forest, destroyed her home and enslaved her people. The Duke put most of the elves to death, as he correctly feared they would never stop resisting the yoke of bondage until they were free. Elves were magical, ancient, and quite dangerous; and they live very long indeed. Why take the chance? The children, though; that was another matter. Most were sold into slavery. A few were given as gifts to other nobles. Others died, either from neglect, starvation or from an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. But not Karsa.

Karsa found herself the possession of Melek, a wizard; one who had done the Duke a service once and asked for her as payment. The Duke acquiesced, assuming Melek wanted Karsa for the usual, depraved reasons old, evil men want young girls. But Karsa was spared that much, at least; for whatever dark magics Melek practiced had left him unmanned, if not physically then practically. He had no base interest in her, even as she grew to be uncommonly beautiful, even among a race as known for beauty as the elves. For several years, Melek used her as a mere house servant. She chafed and rebelled as best she could. Each time she did, he made her suffer for it; but in her mind, at least, she was her own master.

Although he used her as such, Melek did not require a servant. His true intentions were quite specific: it was her blood he wanted. The blood of an elven maiden is a powerful arcane reagent; one used in magics and rituals most foul. Melek bled her regularly to obtain it; and, although he could have done so painlessly, he made certain to make it hurt as much as possible, for such was his cruelty. Karsa endured this and all his other petty torments, vowing one day to be rid of the old man one way or another.

Melek was always keen to acquire more power at any cost; thus his experiments and rituals turned from the hermetic, which he found too slow, to the demonic, which promised quick (if costly) reward. In preparation for a grand summoning, Melek bound a lesser demon–a quasit named Raze– to his will. For a time, Raze joined Melek in tormenting Karsa; for Raze had no other diversion when not assisting his master. Like Karsa, he was Melek’s creature and he could not strike back at the wizard directly; but Raze soon formed a plan to free himself from Melek’s control. For that, though, he would need Karsa.

It was quite simple. Melek was to summon Belphegor, Lord of the Pit, to bargain for more power. The circle was drawn. All that was left was to anoint it with Karsa’s blood; freshly acquired; something he would do the following night, at the time of summoning.

If Karsa was no longer a maiden by then, Melek would not likely notice. But Belphegor certainly would.

Raze put the proposition to Karsa. If the summoning ritual was sabotaged, Melek would meet a grisly fate; freeing both Raze and Karsa from the wizard. Although the thought of Raze touching her horrified and revolted her, she would endure that and more to be free. She agreed. “Then, it is done.” said Raze, practically dancing with joy. Karsa prepared herself for the worst, but Raze looked at her with amusement. “Be assured, elf-girl,” the quasit said, “the mere thought of us coupling is as repugnant to me as it is to you. Mercifully this bargain of ours has no need for physical consummation. It is enough that you consented willingly. You are no longer of any use to Melek.”

It may seem that Karsa had made a bad bargain; that with Melek’s death, Raze would be released from bondage. When that occurred, what was to stop him or Belphegor from doing what they wished with her? The grinning demon thought he had hoodwinked her; that the miserable elf-girl knew no better.

But he was very wrong. Karsa was no fool, and she had a plan of her own.

The next night, all went as planned. So intent on his ritual was Melek that he didn’t take the customary pleasure in bleeding Karsa as was his wont, nor did he notice anything different about her that would give him pause. Anointing the circle with her now-tainted blood, Melek summoned forth Belphegor, Lord of the Pit. And he paid dearly for it.

Melek had no time to realize his mistake before the summoning chamber was showered in his own blood. His body died quickly and brutally, consumed in seconds by the ravenous demon lord. His soul, however, was doomed to eternally suffer all the tortures a Lord of the Pit can devise; and those are many indeed. Still, Belphegor was far from sated. Ignoring the cackling quasit, it saw the elf-girl for the first time. But something was wrong. She was not cowering in fear as expected. Rather, she met it’s gaze defiantly, without flinching. She wanted something of Belphegor.

The demon lord was intrigued long enough to stay its hunger. “Ask,” said Belphegor.

“What was Melek’s bargain?” she asked.

“Melek pledged to serve me body and soul until his death, in return for the powers I will bestow. Then, he was to be mine.”

“I will make the same bargain with you as Melek sought. With one provision.”

Belphegor considered. It was free and uncontrolled. There was nothing stopping it from simply devouring the elf girl here and now. In fact, the thought was somewhat appealing. But she would live much longer than that fool Melek would have; and they could do so much together over so many years. In the end, she would be Belphegor’s, too. There seemed no good reason to refuse.

“Name your condition,” it said.

Karsa turned and stared at Raze coldly. The quasit had been watching this exchange with interest, but now realization dawned. In a split second, he remembered every insult, slight and suffering he had inflicted upon Karsa.

“Wait! Raze started to beg.

“Done,” said Belphegor. Then the quasit was no more, his existence utterly obliterated by Belphegor’s will. “You are mine, now, Karsa. Body and soul.” With that, the demon lord disappeared.

Karsa took a deep breath. It would appear she had traded one form of bondage and servitude for another. Why, then did she smile?

Put simply, she would not be owned.

Karsa was no fool. In exchange for great power, she was bound to Belphegor for the next several hundred years, until her death, when she would be eternally at the demon lord’s mercy. That meant she had several hundred years to use the power to find a way to destroy Belphegor, or perhaps some way not to die.

Lichedom, perhaps…

Karsa is a pretty famous miniature: the original Dark Elf Sorceress from Games Workshop, circa 1998 or so. I never played Dark Elves, and I never bought this miniature. Rather, it was a gift to me from a relative who lives in England. She came across it in an estate sale, of all things. It was still in the blister when she sent it over the water to me.

Astute observers may note that once again, I am late for my Character of the Month. Rest assured, Karsa was painted back in November with days to spare, but I had no time to write her backstory before the end of the month. November stretched into December, and here we are. It’s a good thing I don’t miss deadlines like this in my professional life, or I’d be out of a job.

So, what’s to come? Well, I have one more Character of the Month to do before the end of the year; and it’s one of my favorite D&D classes, to boot. Plus, I’m gonna try to do a very special Christmas AAR, just because I haven’t done one in a while. Traditionally, December is my month to clean up the Side Pile; but to be honest I’ve been so busy with other stuff I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that this year.

Oh, and I’m turning 49 soon. Imminently, in fact.

I asked one of my (younger) employees today: “Remember when Amazon only sold books?” Then I asked her, “Remember when Amazon was a rain forest in Brazil?”

Times have changed, and I am old.

A Vamp for Vampifan Part 2: The Red Duke

Well, it took me long enough, but I finally finished my vampire miniature painted this month in honor of Bryan Scott, a.k.a. Vampifan; a gamer who sadly passed on earlier this year. I chose The Red Duke from Games Workshop, a classic Vampire Counts miniature that I have had since its release in the late 90’s. Had I known Vampifan better (or at all), I probably would have chose something different, i.e. one that looked a bit more like Ingrid Pitt rather than Christopher Lee.

No one tells me anything. I blame Roger.

Anyway, once I got him positioned how I wanted, I gave him another coat of Vallejo black surface primer and did a quick drybrush of Citadel Celestra Grey to underpaint the model and highlight everything I needed to see in order to paint (my eyes ain’t what they used to be). Then I got to work.

Behold the results of my efforts. I have to say, since I started using Instagram and was forced to begin using my iPhone to take pictures, I have noticed that pictures taken with my actual camera really suck in comparison to anything I take with my phone. For some reason, if I try to load my iPhone pictures into WordPress, it doesn’t work. Normally I would blame Roger for this (and everything else); but it’s far more likely that WordPress is to blame.

Please forgive the shitty quality of these pictures, is what I’m saying.

I followed Duncan Rhodes Jr’s GW recipe for vampire skin: Rakarth Flesh base; followed by an Agrax Earthshade wash; highlight with Flayed One Flesh and finally with Pallid Wych Flesh. Of course, the only skin the Duke is showing is his face; but I think it looks suitably vampiric. The armor is a mix of four or five red washes and paints from different manufacturers (please don’t ask me what I used), as well as the same number of gold metallics. The one thing I’m unsure of is the purple…the more I look at it, the more I think it should be black. But I wanted to add a bit of color to the Duke besides red. What do you think?

Speaking of purple, THIS happened while I was in the midst of painting: I spilled my Druchii Violet wash all over the place, because I accidentally swatted the shitty GW flip-top bottle cap and knocked the whole pot over. Fuck you, GW. Between your paints that dry up far too quickly and your fucking stubborn resistance to dropper bottles, I’ve about fucking had it with your planned obsolescence business model. Know what I’ve never accidentally spilled? ANY PAINT IN A FUCKING DROPPER BOTTLE. Like Vallejo. Or Army Painter. Or Reaper. Or any cheap-ass craft paint I can buy at Wal-Mart. All these paints seem to last a hell of a lot longer, too. Coincidence? DOUBT IT.

Sorry. I’ve been drinking.

One thing I am really happy about is using the cape from the Heroclix Hobgoblin. I did this out of necessity, because I somehow lost the Red Duke’s own cape over the years. (Very unlike me. I’m sure it will turn up somewhere.) I think it looks a lot better than his “official” cape would look; and it adds a bit of realism to the motion of the rearing skeletal steed. (Also, it turns out I didn’t need to sculpt any reins, so…yaay me!)

As a small bonus, I also repainted this Horrorclix Nosferatu. Unlike the Red Duke, it took me about 30 minutes in total to rebase and repaint him, so it’s hardly a huge accomplishment. Still, I thought I’d include him in my Vampifan tribute.

True to form, I waited until the last possible minute to post these miniatures. I hope Vampifan would have liked them. It’s Halloween, and if there wasn’t a pandemic, I’d be expecting trick-or-treaters at my door in a few hours; but it’s looking like it’s going to be a quiet night.

Perfect night, in fact, for a vampire movie…

A Vamp for Vampifan: Part 1

Roger from Rantings From Under the Wargames Table has organized a tribute to fellow blogger and miniatures enthusiast, Vampifan (Bryan Scott), who sadly passed away earlier this year. I knew Vampifan from his blog, Vampifan’s World of the Undead, and from Painting Challenges like Zomtober and Forgotten Heroes. We tread the same internet and blog byways, but I can’t recall ever corresponding with him directly. I wish I had. By all accounts, he was a great guy, a veteran gamer generous with his advice and encouragement; a good friend, a real credit to the hobby, and a man who will be missed.

This month, to honor an absent friend, Roger has proposed painting a vampire miniature in lieu of simply raising a glass in Vampifan’s memory (although feel free to do that, too). I’ve got a vampire miniature, so count me in.

The miniature I have chosen is one I have had for about 25 years: The Red Duke, by Games Workshop. I bought him right around the time GW split their Undead army into Vampire Counts and Tomb Kings. I chose to go with (though never played) Vampire Counts; the Red Duke was to be my general.

As you can see, he was primed black some time ago, and 25 years of being knocked around in a box has worn some of that off. He also had a cape at one point, but I seem to have lost it. No matter. This Heroclix Hobgoblin shall donate his. You may recall this particular Heroclix has already donated his left arm to my Nexus Forgotten Heroes submission earlier this year. I’ve also removed his head and cut him off the glider. Waste not, want not.

You never know when you’ll need an empty goblin glider. Ask Norman Osborn how dangerous they can be…

Anyway, I don’t want him to go on a boring cavalry slotta base. I’m going for a more dynamic pose: I want him on a rearing skeletal steed! The billowing cape should help the overall effect. I chose a 60mm round base, then added a 30mm base for height and applied some Magic Sculpt to level everything out.

A bit of green stuff, drilling and test-pinning, and I think I’m ready for a re-prime. I’m going to paint the Duke and the steed separately before fitting them together. It seems I may have to use more of the dreaded green stuff to sculpt some reins, as his new, more dynamic pose doesn’t “sit the saddle” the way it was intended.

At this stage of the game, I’m happy with what I have. It looks like this could be a good-looking miniature when I’m done, if I don’t fuck up the paint job. Fingers crossed!

Fee Fie Fo Fum!

I smell the blood of an Englishman. Be he alive or be he dead, I’ll grind his bones to make my bread!

Not surprising, really, since I know of at least three Englishmen who frequent Dead Dick’s Tavern. Only too likely one of them would leave their spoor behind. Of course, I would never grind their bones to make bread. That’s just silly.

This is the classic Marauder/Citadel Giant, and he is my “Big ‘Un” for Monster May(hem) this year. This guy came out circa 1989 or so; and for decades he was “the” Warhammer giant; there wasn’t another until well after this one ceased production. I’m pretty sure he was sculpted by one or both of the Perry brothers, but I could be wrong. (Edit: I was wrong. A simple Google search turned up it was sculpted by Aly Morrison. Thanks to Matt and shame on me.) Whoever sculpted him did a great job. (It was Aly Morrison.) I’ve always loved this model. As an Orc and Goblin player back in the day, I always wanted one, but could never lay hands on it.

Then, a few years ago, I bought a miniatures lot off a guy on Craiglist who was getting out of the hobby (which was a pretty aggravating experience, but eventually turned out ok). This giant was in there, assembled and primed white (which I HATE). Back in 2018, when I first decided May was Monster Month (remember when it was called that?) , I put this guy on my desk to paint him. I decided to do my Orc Warlord on Wyvern instead, and there the giant sat until now. Every once in a while, when I squeezed out too much paint, I would dab some on him somewhere. He looked a mess, and I made no progress, always telling myself I’d get him done eventually.

Well, he’s done. Mostly.

About halfway through painting him this month, I noticed he’s incomplete. He’s missing two pieces: a keg which he has slung around his hip (where the rope meets in thie picture above), and a sword that attaches to his other hip. The guy included a huge bag o’bitz in the Craigslist purchase. Guess which two bitz were not there?

I guess it doesn’t look terrible without the keg. And who needs a sword when you can rip a tree out of the ground and swat someone with it? Anyway, I did what I could with him, and I’m pretty happy with the result. I’m most happy that he’s DONE, and I can remove him from my painting desk forthwith.

I know I just said it a few paragraphs ago, but I’ll say it again. I love this model. No computer sculpting or 3D printing here, and no resin or plastic to be found. This model is all metal, and reminds me of a time when transporting your army doubled as a biceps workout. Bring back those days…

Here’s a scale comparison to a Reaper Hill Giant (also all metal, though they make him in Bones now), and an Empire Greatsword. I know the current GW giant is even bigger, but I think this guy is just right.

And that brings Monster May(hem) to a close…or does it? It is currently 7:30 a.m. at Dead Dick’s Tavern. That means there’s still 16 hours or so left in May…and I have two unpainted monsters still sitting on my desk. Can I get one painted before midnight?

Be sure to check out all the other participants. Since last post, Matt painted yet another monster: the cloak fiend, and Dave sculpted and painted a Bantha for some Star Wars gaming! Plus, I forgot to mention Harry painted some unicorns and treekin over on his site, along with his High Elf dragon!

Next month is Forgotten Heroes over at Carrion Crow’s Buffet, and I can’t wait. But for now, there’s still time to paint some monsters!

Blogroll

Roger, aka Dick Garrison, from Rantings From Under the Wargames Table

Dave Stone from Wargames Terrain Workshop

Matt from PMPainting

Coyotepunc from Coyotepunc’s Creativity

Ken from Blue Moose Arts

Jeremy, aka Carrion Crow, from Carrion Crow’s Buffet

Harry from War Across the Ages

You can find links to all these blogs (and others) in the sidebar as well!

Varg Bonebreaka: Orc Warlord on War Wyvern

To finish off Monster Month, I present a  monster miniature that is finally seeing paint after almost THIRTY YEARS in my “to-do pile”!

It’s an old Warhammer Orc Shaman on War Wyvern, circa 1990 or thereabouts. I got him on the secondary market sometime in the mid-nineties. Originally, he was to be for use with my Warhammer Fantasy Orc & Goblin Army, but I wanted to use the wyvern as a mount for an army general, Varg Bonebreaka,  rather than a shaman (more on this later). Before I could do more than buy the bitz and start the conversion, though, several things happened.

  1. Mounting characters on monsters fell out of favor, if not with the entire WFB community, then certainly with my WFB gaming group. The focus of WFB became more about troops than super, unit-killing characters. A positive change, I would say.
  2. I stopped playing “special characters” in my army, for the same reason as above.
  3. I got distracted by something else. I don’t know what. It could have been a bright spot of reflected light shining onto the wall, for all I know. More likely it was my 40K Mordian Iron Guard.

Eventually, around 2003 or thereabouts, I ceased playing Warhammer and Warhammer 40K altogether. This miniature, along with all my others, languished in storage until around 2010 or so, when I started painting miniatures again.

The mounted shaman miniature is perfectly acceptable, in a “I’m holding two weapons parallel to my body within my frontal plane” kind of way (typical of GW of the time). He just wasn’t all that exciting. For my general, Varg,  I decided to use the original Morglum Necksnapper model as the base of the conversion.  You can see in the picture below how the original model looked way back when. I intended to mount the shaman on Morglum’s boar, since he wouldn’t be using it. I still haven’t got around to that yet, either.

I purchased all the bitz I needed for the conversion from a GW rep who came by my FLGS in the “Bitz Wagon”. I bought a dwarf casualty for the base, as my Orcs & Goblins often faced off against my friend’s Dwarfs. (Yes, I wanted to irritate him.) I got rid of Morglum’s axes, as I hated how they looked, and replaced one with a double-edged Chaos axe. I decided I was going to give him a long spear in his other hand, as he would be pretty high up on that wyvern and wouldn’t be able to reach his opponents with anything else. For that, I used a lance from an old Skeleton Horsemen box. Finally, I ditched Morglum’s banner poles and replaced them with the back banner from an old Skaven model, Queek Head-Taker.

Then I let him sit there in the Insanity Pile, untouched, for almost 30 years. When Monster Month rolled around, he wasn’t hard to find.

Here are the results. Because of the large amount of conversion on the orc, I needed to paint them separately prior to assembly. This is actually the first time I mounted a model on something to handle it while painting (I usually just hold it between my fingers). The wooden “plant pot” was intended to provide some stability, but it didn’t do much as the model kept falling over whenever I accidentally hit it (which was often). After the third time fixing the spear, I got wise and glued it to this coffee can lid for added stability.

I don’t go in for the double banners on the wyvern’s back, because I think it looks stupid. Also, I suck at making banners. I opted to add some severed heads from an old GW zombie sprue instead.

I couldn’t find the “back end” of the lance pole. It disappeared some time in the last 25+ years or so. Instead I used a piece of plastic rod. I thought it looked kind of boring, so I added this scythe blade from a GW zombie sprue to the end, turning it into a nasty, unique-looking pole-arm.

I drilled a couple of holes in the wyvern’s flank and added some arrows. Monsters, and the generals on them, tend to attract missile fire.

My friend’s Dwarfs, IIRC, were painted in a green color scheme. I decided to paint this dwarf blue to make him really stand out against the grass and under the wyvern’s claw. The broken barrel is from an Army Painter basing kit.

At last, some final pictures of the complete wyvern with the rider. I give you Varg Bonebreaka, a name inscribed forever in the Book of Grudges many times over! WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!

Makes me wish I still played Warhammer.

This model took me longer than I thought to complete, so I’m glad I started when I did. Unfortunately, I still have a few monsters that aren’t quite finished, and the end of Monster Month is nigh! Oh well. Perhaps I will finish them up soon, and post them as an intermission during next month’s Forgotten Heroes challenge!

 

Insanity Pile Progress

Miniatures Painted Thus Far: 8

Miniatures Purchased: 0

Total: +8