Fee Fie Fo Fum!

I smell the blood of an Englishman. Be he alive or be he dead, I’ll grind his bones to make my bread!

Not surprising, really, since I know of at least three Englishmen who frequent Dead Dick’s Tavern. Only too likely one of them would leave their spoor behind. Of course, I would never grind their bones to make bread. That’s just silly.

This is the classic Marauder/Citadel Giant, and he is my “Big ‘Un” for Monster May(hem) this year. This guy came out circa 1989 or so; and for decades he was “the” Warhammer giant; there wasn’t another until well after this one ceased production. I’m pretty sure he was sculpted by one or both of the Perry brothers, but I could be wrong. (Edit: I was wrong. A simple Google search turned up it was sculpted by Aly Morrison. Thanks to Matt and shame on me.) Whoever sculpted him did a great job. (It was Aly Morrison.) I’ve always loved this model. As an Orc and Goblin player back in the day, I always wanted one, but could never lay hands on it.

Then, a few years ago, I bought a miniatures lot off a guy on Craiglist who was getting out of the hobby (which was a pretty aggravating experience, but eventually turned out ok). This giant was in there, assembled and primed white (which I HATE). Back in 2018, when I first decided May was Monster Month (remember when it was called that?) , I put this guy on my desk to paint him. I decided to do my Orc Warlord on Wyvern instead, and there the giant sat until now. Every once in a while, when I squeezed out too much paint, I would dab some on him somewhere. He looked a mess, and I made no progress, always telling myself I’d get him done eventually.

Well, he’s done. Mostly.

About halfway through painting him this month, I noticed he’s incomplete. He’s missing two pieces: a keg which he has slung around his hip (where the rope meets in thie picture above), and a sword that attaches to his other hip. The guy included a huge bag o’bitz in the Craigslist purchase. Guess which two bitz were not there?

I guess it doesn’t look terrible without the keg. And who needs a sword when you can rip a tree out of the ground and swat someone with it? Anyway, I did what I could with him, and I’m pretty happy with the result. I’m most happy that he’s DONE, and I can remove him from my painting desk forthwith.

I know I just said it a few paragraphs ago, but I’ll say it again. I love this model. No computer sculpting or 3D printing here, and no resin or plastic to be found. This model is all metal, and reminds me of a time when transporting your army doubled as a biceps workout. Bring back those days…

Here’s a scale comparison to a Reaper Hill Giant (also all metal, though they make him in Bones now), and an Empire Greatsword. I know the current GW giant is even bigger, but I think this guy is just right.

And that brings Monster May(hem) to a close…or does it? It is currently 7:30 a.m. at Dead Dick’s Tavern. That means there’s still 16 hours or so left in May…and I have two unpainted monsters still sitting on my desk. Can I get one painted before midnight?

Be sure to check out all the other participants. Since last post, Matt painted yet another monster: the cloak fiend, and Dave sculpted and painted a Bantha for some Star Wars gaming! Plus, I forgot to mention Harry painted some unicorns and treekin over on his site, along with his High Elf dragon!

Next month is Forgotten Heroes over at Carrion Crow’s Buffet, and I can’t wait. But for now, there’s still time to paint some monsters!


Roger, aka Dick Garrison, from Rantings From Under the Wargames Table

Dave Stone from Wargames Terrain Workshop

Matt from PMPainting

Coyotepunc from Coyotepunc’s Creativity

Ken from Blue Moose Arts

Jeremy, aka Carrion Crow, from Carrion Crow’s Buffet

Harry from War Across the Ages

You can find links to all these blogs (and others) in the sidebar as well!

10 thoughts on “Fee Fie Fo Fum!

  1. Dick Garrison

    I remember that “Big Guy” from years ago, though I must admit I preferred the Grenadier Giant with the deck of goblins on his head myself (goblin war giant?), but you have done a stand up job of painting that beastie, and a spectacular way to end Monster Month, (unless you do squeeze in another).

    I feel decidedly unproductive now only getting the one monster done, I will probably be put to shame in Forgotten heroes month too now. .

    Really enjoyed all the entries and looking them over, I will hopefully be back next year with at least a couple of entries!

    Cheers Roger.

    1. The Angry Piper Post author

      I love that Grenadier War Giant too, but good luck trying to find that kit on the secondary market without breaking the bank! I have a huge soft spot for old school miniatures, as you well know…
      Unproductive? You and Dave literally started from NOTHING, sculpting something from ideas in your head. Then you painted them. I’d hardly call that unproductive, Roger!
      I hope to get one more painted (it’s not that challenging a model), but I have to go spread some mulch in my flowerbeds because I’ve been informed I have to go spread some mulch in my flowerbeds. So, yeah. Mulch.

  2. Dave Stone

    Well that was a blast from the past Keith, fantastic work on him and great colour choices, reminds me I still have the later plastic one to finish !
    Fondly remember the days of needing biceps like Arnie to carry your models for a game, and wish my company could make metal miniatures instead of just resin but the costs are so prohibitive

    1. The Angry Piper Post author

      Thanks, Dave! They made this guy in plastic? I never knew that. I am under the impression that metal molds are cheap, but metal isn’t (certainly not anymore)…and plastic molds are expensive, but plastic is cheap. Of course, I’m talking completely out of my ass as I don’t know anything about miniature casting, but this is the information that is somehow in my brain. Please correct me if I’m wrong, which I assume I am.

      1. Dave Stone

        You have the basics completely right Keith, metal costs keep rising but the moulds to make the mini’s are cheap in comparison, and plastic moulding the die’s are hugely expensive but the individual casts are very cheap, resin falls inbetween the two on both moulding and casts

  3. Matt

    Bravo, sir! That’s a superb paint job on a classic not-so-mini and a stunning way to end Monster May(hem). The colours really pop and it’s amazing to see a figure that big made from metal. How much does it weigh?

    According to the interwebs he was sculpted by Aly Morrison and when the figure was released it cost £15.99, so around $30 back in those days.

    I was going to try to fit another monster in today but as I’m up to my elbows in a Slaanesh champion* I might not have the chance.

    Have fun with the mulch!

    *That probably came out wrong.

    1. The Angry Piper Post author

      Thanks, Matt. I tried to get one more in, but after the mulch I was wielding a weed-whacker like Boromir protecting the halflings, piling (plant) corpse on (plant) corpse all day, until I collapsed against a tree, and one of my hetero-lifemates kissed me on the forehead. Right before I died.
      Seriously: using a weed trimmer all day makes your hand shake, which isn’t all that conducive to miniature painting unless you’re going for the “Jackson Pollock” effect. So, instead I opted for a martini, and I’m riding that buzz presently.
      Thanks for the attribution. I wouldn’t wanna give those damn dirty Perry brothers any credit they don’t deserve. (Martini talking. The Perrys are awesome.)
      It’s Slaanesh. I assumed the obvious. You tell ME if it came out wrong.

  4. Harry

    Superb! O&G are a way-off-maybe army for me, but if I do, I’d want this giant to go stompin’ with da lads. Might have to start watching ebay for an inexpensive one.

    1. The Angry Piper Post author

      I have a pretty sizable O&G army, Harry…painted back in the bright red/ black and white checks heyday of the mid 90’s. After Undead split into Vampire Counts and Tomb Kings, it was my only army for WFB. Then a couple of years ago, out of sheer madness, I decided to paint up a Dwarf army I know I will never play, using whatever damn miniatures I felt like using (mostly Black Tree and Mantic, but some GW, too). I haven’t played a game of WFB since about 2002. But who cares? So, paint that Orc army!

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