Monster May(hem) 2025 is coming to an end, and I’m unsure if I will get my third (and final) submission in by the end of the month, as he’s turned out to be way more of a pain in the ass than I could have imagined. Still, I aim to finish him before starting anything else, because otherwise he’s just going to sit on my desk indefinitely, becoming yet another forlorn and somewhat accusatory miniature in my ever-growing side pile.
However, others have not been idle, and it behooves me to recognize their efforts. This will not be the final Monster May(hem) update, as the month isn’t over and there are always stragglers, but since it’s been a couple of weeks, here’s what the other participants have been up to:
Jeremy, from Carrion Crow’s Buffet, continues work on his Gingerbread Dragon for his Santa Wars project (when he’s not drinking beer and talking to annoying Americans with technical difficulties);
Dave, from Wargames Terrain Workshop, painted a Dewback, two Great Gnarlocs he sculpted himself, returned to Star Wars to sculpt and paint a Corellian Hound and a Jerba; and then back to the 40K Universe to kitbash (and paint) a Krootox and Khymarae, and all this with an injury. Dave always brings the thunder for this challenge, and his single-minded mission to sculpt every single thing ever shown on-screen in the Star Wars Universe continues to amaze and delight me with each post. Stunning work, Dave.
Snapfit, from Da Green Horde, has painted a massive Squiggoth! I remember squiggoths from Epic scale 40K, but this “Gnawzilla” model from Kromlech is an impressive beast done proud by Snapfit! Awesome!
Matt, from PM Painting, has been a busy bee in the past two weeks, completing a truly exceptional Dagon (a Lovecraftian Deity! YAAAAY!), A “lesser” Daemon of Nurgle, an ominous (and very cool) Corpse Collector, and (my personal favorite), the Cheshire Cat! Welcome back, Matt! Hopefully you’re back to stay, cuz we’ve missed you, man!
James, @spoontasticminis, has continued work on a Tyranid Exocrine, and it looks awesome. Can’t wait to see it completed! This one’s a big fella!
and Sabrina, @Uthwulfsminis. has completed Rey Dau, a dragon from the Monster Hunter Wilds board game, and has started on another beastie from the game. My deepest apologies to Sabrina, as I somehow missed her Monster May(hem) contributions throughout the month so far. There’s no excuse for that, and I will commit seppuku in atonement once the final Monster May(hem) 2025 update has been posted. So no Forgotten Heroes for me this year, after all, although if Dave can sculpt and paint with an injured hand, I should be able to convert a miniature even with my guts exposed to daylight.
Check out everyone’s work and lend them your support! Once again, it’s been my honor to host this challenge. If I forgot anyone or if you have further submissions, let me know. Watch this space to see the miniature I’ve been struggling with for the last half of the month. He’ll be here soon, if not by the end of May.
Nyarlathotep… the crawling chaos… I am the last… I will tell the audient void…
For my second submission for Monster May(hem) 2025: I present a classic Grenadier miniature from 1985: Nyarlathotep (also known as the “Spawning Horror” once Grenadier stopped making Call of Cthulhu miniatures). I’ve had this miniature since it was released, so it’s great to free it from my pile of shame!
As you can see, the miniature is sculpted on a long, narrow base. I found a circular base wide enough to mount the miniature with no overhang, but that left a lot of extra space, so I added a few rocky bits with some green stuff before priming. I intended to make this a lava base, as Nyarlathotep, being the Messenger of the Great Old Ones, probably hangs out in inhospitable locales and wouldn’t be bothered all that much by lava.
Then I changed my mind and decided to make it a foul, swampy base, complete with Vallejo Water Effects you somehow can’t see in these pictures, but trust me, they’re there.
There’s a weird part of his back that I didn’t know how to paint, so I decided to make it the “three-lobed burning eye” referenced in Lovecraft’s story The Haunter in the Dark. Trouble was, there is an obvious slit in the middle which makes a “three-lobed eye” look dumb, so I just made it a big eye. Not totally happy with it, but whatever.
Nyarlathotep is the Lovecraftian Outer God that has the most interaction with humans, as he derives pleasure from corrupting and tormenting humanity. He offers forbidden knowledge and eldritch power in exchange for worship and depravity. Nyarlathotep is rumored to have over 1000 forms, including this one, known as the God of the Bloody Tongue, but he’s also happy to take human form as needed.
This miniature is actually pretty small, probably because it’s 25mm scale. If it were made today I’m sure it would be much larger, considering this form of Nyarlathotep is usually about the size of a house.
And finally, here’s a better look at the base. I’m glad I went with swamp over lava, but I’m annoyed my water effects aren’t visible in the pictures.
Monster May(hem) is at the halfway point, and we have some great stuff so far! Check out all our participants and their contributions so far!
Monster May(hem) continues until the end of May. I’m hoping to do at least one more, hopefully two. I’m keeping up with submissions and will post them here as they drop! Thanks to all!
My first submission for Monster May(hem) 2025 is this thing: the Avatar of the Abyss.
This miniature is from B=Sieged, a game released by Cool Mini or Not back in 2015. I don’t play B-Sieged and never have, but on one of my Miniature Market binges I tacked this guy onto my order as, IIRC, he was only like two bucks, probably because no one else ever played B-Sieged, either. CMON is notorious for releasing games and then abandoning them, so their miniatures often find themselves in online clearance bins. (They make some pretty good miniatures, so it’s often worth the wait.)
Anyway, I would have no reason whatsoever to paint this miniature were it not for Monster May(hem). I thought about which colors to choose for far too long before I just settled on painting him like the box art.
I’m not totally happy with the color transition on the abdomen. My guess is he’s meant to be belching forth fire or something. I used a wet-blending technique but I kind of rushed it. It will do, but it’s far from perfect.
This is one of the many miniatures I have collected over the years that I have no planned use for, had no real intention of painting, certainly did not need and probably shouldn’t have spent the money on (even though it was dirt cheap). That being said, he’s not bad-looking all painted up, and he took me less than two hours total to paint.
I kept the basing simple: just a grey drybrush over some black paint, with a few Army Painter scorched tufts thrown on for good measure.
One down, and at least one (or two) more to go. I have another miniature I’ve had since the late 80’s I want to paint, and another I’ve had for almost 15 years that I was going to get rid of, but decided to keep. (That one looks like a cast-iron bitch to assemble, though, so we’ll see if I can summon the patience.) And then, there’s that Dragon I was supposed to paint last year that I never got around to…
Here is the blogroll of participants thus far, meaning those who have let me know they want to take part. From the blogosphere:
Dave, from Wargames Terrain Workshop, painted a Dewback (I was considering painting one of these myself, Dave!), and if I know Dave, he’s not done yet;
If nothing else, this random miniature from my pile of shame has got me painting again, so that’s something. Looking forward to seeing what everyone does! I’ll update this list periodically, but don’t let that stop you from checking out all these blogs and IG accounts yourself. As always, there’s a lot of talent here!
No big surprises there. These are my peeps, after all, although I’m thrilled that Monster May(hem) has lured Matt out of the wilds of Vermont to join us again after a year’s absence!
Anyone else who wants to take part need only let me know in the comments below, or drop me an an email at angrypiper@angrypiper.com, or PM me on Instagram @angrypiper. I will add your name and website/IG account (if applicable) to the blogroll forthwith! If you don’t have either of those and still want to take part, no problem! I’ll host your images here on this very site.
Like last year I plan on making every effort to be in The Paint Pit channel of my Discord server this month while I work on my monsters. That’s usually between the hours of 5:30-7:30 PM (EST) on weekdays here in the States, and anytime I can get to myself on the weekends. Can’t promise I’ll be there every day, but if I’m not, feel free to hang out and meet some of the other participants, if so inclined. Don’t have an invitation to my Discord server and want one? Read this first, and then contact me.
Without further ado, Gentlemen (and Lady), PAINT YOUR MONSTERS!!!!
Hi. I’m The Angry Piper. You might remember me as a guy who used to paint stuff. Not so much these days, but if I can’t get off my ass for what’s fast approaching, then I should just hang up my painting kilt for good. May is upon us, and that can mean only one thing. It’s Monster May(hem) yet again!
Veterans of Monster May(hem) will recall that it is a painting challenge I host annually in May (duh), which focuses on painting monsters. It is open to both old-school blog scrollers and new-fangled Instagrammers. Monster May(hem) does not discriminate.
What is Monster May(hem)? Why, it’s the month you paint monsters, of course. Any monster will do, although it should be a proper MONSTER, something big and mean. I mean something truly beastly; like a manticore or a hydra or a giant, irradiated chicken. Your monster(s) doesn’t have to be strictly a fantasy miniature, and it may be any scale and from any manufacturer. For example, I painted those wampas last year (and not much since.)
How many monsters you paint is up to you. The minimum is one, of course; but feel free to do as many as you like. The only caveat is that they get painted sometime in May. I will link to your stuff throughout the month, and (if it’s not there already) add your blog/website/social media to the blogroll on the side! If you don’t have a site of your own and still want to participate, I’ll happily host your pictures here and ensure you get proper attribution! (And I’ll be much better about it than I was with the Year of the Dragon challenge last year.)
So if you’re in, let me know in the comments below or reach out on Instagram. I’ll post the list of participants in the next post. Until then, go find some monsters to paint!
61 and 0. That’s how many days have passed thus far in 2025, and how many miniatures I have painted so far this year. It seems my motivation, for painting at least, has not returned, and judging by how long it took me to respond to comments on my last post, neither has my motivation for blogging. (I actually couldn’t remember my WordPress password for a minute there.) My Instagram accounts have been barren wastelands with no posts since January (although I have been commenting and interacting with others), and if not for the many friends I’ve made on IG, I’d consider ditching the platform altogether. Is this how an old hobbyist goes out, not with a bang, but a whimper? Maybe, but I’m not done yet. There is a hobby ember still smoldering deep within my breast. I hope to back in true form for Monster May(hem) and Forgotten Heroes, two challenges I would not willingly miss.
All is not lost. I have managed to get a few (at least tangentially) hobby-related things done this year. Most recently, I sat down with Bruno Galan again to discuss the Satanic Panic of the 1980’s, along with Tenebrae de Profundis and Grim Jim Desborough. We started talking about the Satanic Panic, veered off course for a while to discuss cancel culture and other bullshit, then brought it back around. This was recorded at 1 am my time, so apologies if I ramble somewhat. You can view and listen to it above, if so inclined. If you watch it, please do Bruno a favor and like the video about halfway through. It helps the video get noticed. If you really like it, you can subscribe to his channel, where you can find previous interviews Bruno did with all three of us.
Next, I’ve returned to roleplaying on a regular schedule, something I haven’t done for years, and I’m recording the sessions for eventual release (hopefully–I need to learn sound editing first). Although I’ve run a few games here and there over the past year, prior to that I took a year-long hiatus from gaming after leaving my longtime gaming group for reasons. (They will always be my friends, I just think it’s better that some of us don’t game together any longer.) Truthfully, I missed playing more than I wanted to admit. Since starting an Instagram account during the pandemic, I’ve met some really awesome people from all over the world that I’ve been able to play with remotely. Although I miss sitting around a table chucking dice, I never would have been able to game with these folks otherwise.
Last year (around November 7th or so), I made the decision to focus on something that will make me happy. I decided to kick off a new campaign in 2025 using a classic module for inspiration and setting: the first module I ever owned, played and ran as a DM: Dungeon Module B2, The Keep on the Borderlands. (One of my players suggested I name the campaign “Keith on the Borderlands”, which we all found amusing.) I like actual play podcasts, so I thought I’d give it a try myself by recording these sessions. It’s my hope that I’ll be able to start a podcast of my own, combining actual play with gaming topics. Hardly original, I know, but I’m an old grognard and I have opinions.
I decided to use AD&D 2nd Edition for the rules set, as that is my favorite edition, and I’ve heavily modified the module so there’s more going on than entering caves, killing everything inside and taking their shit (wash, rinse, repeat). So far, we’ve played four sessions and last week we had our first character death. I feel kind of bad, as the player who lost a character has only ever played 5E before, and met the harsh reality of 2E head first. No superhero characters here, no long rests that miraculously restore all your hit points and spells, no three out of five death saves. (Luckily, I prepared my players for the inevitability of character death by having them make several characters.)
I also broke my “read 100 books you own before buying any new books” ban to purchase this book (and read it): CrowNomancer, by some guy named Winstanley. Ever wish you could go back in time and be the coolest kid at school? Ever wish you could use magic? Ever wish you could do all three? Check this out. You can get it on Amazon.
Finally, she-who-is-my-wife occasionally travels to visit friends and family in other parts of the country and the world, while I am left alone and bereft here at my palatial estate. When I know one of these sojourns is coming, I naturally plan all the things I will do in her absence: all the miniatures I will paint, video games I will play, food I will cook, booze I will drink, books I will read, movies I will watch and games I will play, all while temporarily unfettered by the constrictions required to maintain a healthy relationship.
Then, when she’s gone, I do none of those things. I just walk around the house like a guy who got hit in the head with a hammer.
Last month she took one of these trips, and I did something different, something productive. I painted my basement.
My basement is (mostly) my domain, wherein all my stuff sits. All my miniatures, video games, roleplaying games, comic books, my computer (where I write this post) and my painting desk and gaming table (which I never use). It is my version of Mr. Brady’s den, for those familiar with the analogy, so you may be forgiven if you think that my painting of the basement was purely self-serving. It was not. You see, I am a man, and therefore I don’t see things like scuff marks or dust or peeled paint or cobwebs. They don’t exist for me, no matter how many times a certain someone points them out and tells me I really should paint this place, because I’ve owned the house for over a decade and it hasn’t been painted since then, and probably wasn’t painted since the place was built. So my decision to do something productive rather than walk around like a fucking zombie for a week was not made selfishly.
Painting the basement took me most of the week and two gallons of paint (at 50 bucks a gallon–WTF???). I had to do it in stages, as it required me to move all the furniture away from the walls, and there simply wasn’t enough room in the center for everything at once. The worst part was moving the seven Ikea glass display cases full of painted miniatures. I’m happy to say I managed it without catastrophe, and without the need to empty them first. The basement looks much better than it did, as I opted for a brighter white than was on the walls previously. (Naturally, it went unnoticed by anyone but me for weeks, until I had to physically point it out.) Anyway, one of the benefits of moving all the furniture was that I took the opportunity to clean off and organize my painting desk, so when I do go back it will be ready for me.
I know. I already have a post entitled “How Not to Host a Painting Challenge.” Turns out I suck at hosting painting challenges, because I had an entire fucking year to paint a dragon, and I failed. This dead dragon represents my efforts. It’s a resin piece by Dave Stone. I completed it for the Season of Scenery in 2022. (I failed to take part in the Season of Scenery last year, one of the many things at which I failed.)
Now, lest anyone think I didn’t put in ANY effort whatsoever, I planned on painting this classic Sandra Garrity T’Char, Dragon of Flame and Fury. This is how far I got.
I was going to prime him (I’ve decided T’Char identifies as male) white, because I was going to paint him blue. Screw Dragon of Flame and Fury, I have enough red dragons. Now I think I’m going to prime him black after all, because I’ve reconsidered the blue (but he still won’t be red). I filled all the gaps but left the wings off, because while I was fitting them it became obvious that if I glued them to the body prior to painting, I would have problems painting and shading.
Then, I set about finding stuff to add to the base. I added some Nolzur’s treasure piles. but I still have more space to fill. If I was a talented sculptor (like Dave or Roger) I could sculpt some more treasure piles, but I’m not, so I didn’t. Instead, I decided to use the “dungeon dressing” bits from an old Kickstarter I backed, along with an assortment of weapons and stuff to round out the treasure hoard.
That was in late November, when I knew I had to get on the stick and paint this fucking dragon, because I only had a month.
I recently reorganized my “miniatures I will never paint before I die” (aka my miniatures), and one of the boxes I labeled clearly indicated that the dungeon dressing bits were inside. They weren’t. That set me off on a quest to find where I put them. A quest that took me two weeks, because of course it was in the last place I looked, because WHY THE FUCK WOULD I PUT DUNGEON DRESSING BITS IN WITH MY OLD WEST PROJECT (which I also will not complete before I die)?
I blame gin. Or whiskey. Something alcoholic, anyway. Like me.
I’ll get it done eventually, and I’ll post it. Just know the shame is real.
My 2024 painting output has been dismal. 43 miniatures. On the plus side, I managed to paint the miniatures for three board games (one of which I actually managed to play): Indiana Jones: Sands of Adventure, Horrified!, and Alien: Fate of the Nostromo. I painted all the old TSR Adventures of Indiana Jones miniatures, something I’m guessing not many folks have done. I even painted two of Dave Stone’s cowboys, which means I now have painted all of Dave Stone’s cowboys (the ones that are human, anyway). I hosted Monster May(hem) without fucking it up and took part in Forgotten Heroes, which is my favorite painting challenge. (When I stop doing that, you know I’m either done for good or dead.)
On the downside, I painted 43 miniatures, which is disgraceful by almost any standard. (Unless you’re one of those unbelievably talented folks who spends six weeks on a miniature and it looks FUCKING ALIVE when you’re done. I’m not one of those people.) I also pretty much dropped off the blogosphere (although I have been active –somewhat–on Instagram), so I am 100% sure I missed some Year of the Dragon submissions, and failed to give proper recognition. I know Dave did more than one dragon (and I’m guessing he probably made at least one himself), but I haven’t been around to see. If you’re so inclined, drop your submissions in the comments section here. I deeply apologize for missing them.
In my defense, 2024 has been a fucking year here in the States (and everywhere else). It’s been tough to focus on anything that brings me joy. To say I have been unmotivated is an understatement. Every year around this time I make some hobby resolutions. I’m not gonna do that this year, since I’ve pretty much failed at the ones I’ve made for the past five years or so. I’ll paint what I paint, I guess.
As far as gaming goes, I’ve actually made some progress. I ended my self-imposed isolation from gaming to run a few games last year: some old-school Marvel Super Heroes and Star Frontiers, some OSL Lamentations of the Flame Princess, a session of Slasher Flick, a session of Hard City, and a couple of sessions of my own original 1970’s Street Crime RPG (to be released at some point). All these game sessions were virtual. I wrote several gaming scenarios for various games, including a new one for my game, entitled “Nicky Fucks Up”. I even got to PLAY in a game rather than run it for a change: a session of Dragonbane, which, despite having anthropomorphic ducks in it, I found to be really fun and a great system I would like to run in future. I’m committing to running at least one campaign in 2025. I even have four players already.
I really enjoyed the “Year of Pop Culture” in 2023, and I have a bunch of miniatures to paint that I didn’t get to back then, so why not bring it back for 2025? I’m not promising anything, mind you. Just considering.
I hope to be around a bit more going forward. Happy New Year, everyone.
My painting output for 2024 has been somewhat dismal, but I managed to get eight miniatures done this month. Because of the season, I chose to focus on some spooky-themed minis.
First up, a miniature I’m certain many of you will recognize: Isabella Von Carstein, by Games Workshop. I’ve had this miniature since her release in the early 90’s, back when Warhammer Fantasy Undead weren’t split into two armies (Vampire Counts and Tomb Kings). It was just Undead back then. I recall not liking the miniature all that much, and if I recall, her points cost didn’t justify using her in the army, therefore she has languished unpainted these few decades.
As I was painting her last night and this morning, she began to grow on me. I kind of like her now. Maybe it’s because she’s the only Fantasy miniature I’ve painted all year. (Still need to do that dragon.) Aside from painting all the Indiana Jones TSR miniatures and taking part in Monster May(hem) and Forgotten Heroes, I’ve mainly focused on painting miniatures from board games. I did Indiana Jones: Sands of Adventure and Alien: Fate of the Nostromo earlier.
This month I completed Horrified, by Ravensburger Games, released in 2019. This is the original version of the game, featuring the Universal Monsters. There have been several other releases featuring monsters from European and American folklore, one featuring monsters from Greek Mythology, and one featuring Cryptids. Some of the miniatures in those variants are pretty cool, but not cool enough for me to buy the same game more than once, especially since I haven’t played it yet.
Here’s a group shot.
The Creature From the Black Lagoon (1954). One of my favorite Universal Monster movies. This film is 70 years old this year, and watching Julie Adams in a swimsuit still makes my heart flutter, even if it is in black & white.
The Bride of Frankenstein (1935). My favorite miniature in the game. Elsa Lanchester has almost 100 acting credits to her name, yet she could never escape being the Bride of Frankenstein. It’s probably the best Universal Monster movie of all. The 1985 “remake”, The Bride, featuring Sting and Jennifer Beals, is also really good. Plus, it has Clancy Brown as The Monster!
The Wolf Man (1941). I just watched this the other day. If I’ve ever seen it before, it must have been as a young child. It was a bit of a slog, truth be told, even though it’s only a little over an hour long. I didn’t know that Lon Chaney Jr. was such a big guy, nor did I know that Bela Lugosi was in this movie, too!
Dracula (1931). And speaking of Bela Lugosi, he’s my favorite Dracula, although Christopher Lee is a close second. This miniature is good, but it has the annoying trait of being bent forward. I’ve tried to straighten him with the hot water/freezer trick and I thought it worked, but a couple of days later he was bent again. Of course that was after I painted him, so I can’t very well try the hot water thing again.
Frankenstein (1931) I love this sculpt of The Monster. He was also pretty easy to paint. It’s been a few years since I’ve last seen the film, but I remember enjoying it quite a bit. Although nothing like The Monster in Shelley’s novel, Boris Karloff’s portrayal is iconic. I also like the Kenneth Branagh/Robert De Niro remake from 1994. Am I alone?
The Invisible Man (1933). I know Claude Rains was the Invisible Man, but that’s only from Science Fiction Double Feature, the theme song to The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I’ve never actually seen this one, not the original, anyway. The 2020 remake featuring Elizabeth Moss was very good. Still, I’m gonna watch this one tonight, because it’s currently on Prime.
The Mummy (1932). A year after he was Frankenstein’s Monster, Boris Karloff was The Mummy. Another one I haven’t seen. Since it’s also on Prime, maybe I’ll go home from work early today and make it a double feature.
I can procrastinate no more. I must get started on my dragon for the Year of the Dragon challenge. At least I have finally decided which dragon I will paint. It’s going to be my main project for November, and then I think I will try to finish up some more board game miniatures before next year.
At least one guy, anyway. I was recently interviewed by The Crimson Hound himself, Bruno Galan, over on The Bruno Galan Talk Show, one of his YouTube Channels. Bruno asked me to be his guest to talk about miniatures, games, and hobby stuff. And we did, for about an hour, starting at 3 AM my time. (Curse him and crush him!)
Bruno is a friend I met on Instagram several years back. He’s the creator of The Crimson Hound, and he came up with an idea that is pure genius. He invited some really talented gamemasters to run games for him, where he would play his character, The Crimson Hound, kind of a cross between Batman and Blade the Vampire Hunter, but more pulpy. It was up to the individual GM which rules system they would use, and what their individual serials would be. He recorded all the sessions and posted them to YouTube on one of his other channels “The Chronicles of The Crimson Hound“. I tease Bruno that he only did that to ensure he got to play games. He doesn’t deny it.
Anyway, Bruno was always a good sport about me screwing with his character, and he once was part of a playtest group for a Call of Cthulhu scenario I was working on a few years ago, so I owe the guy. He’s asked before but I politely declined because I don’t want to be on YouTube. He told me I don’t have to be on camera, but I still declined, wondering who would give a shit about what I had to say. It’s not like I’m famous, after all. But Bruno is a good dude (despite being a damn, dirty Canadian), and a friend, and he asked again. I’d be kind of an asshole to say no at this point, so I didn’t; but I am still unconvinced anyone cares about my opinions on (and history with) miniatures and gaming (other than Bruno; and, I guess, you guys, since you read this blog).
As I said, we talked for about an hour, and if you’re interested, you can see the video here. You’ll get to see Bruno, but you’ll only get to hear me, as I am far too handsome for YouTube and I didn’t want to make poor Bruno look like my consolation-prize wingman. You’ll also get to see three RPGs I really like, and three RPGs I really want to run or play, but haven’t yet, along with commentary, of course.
By the way, one of the first things Bruno asked me about was Forgotten Heroes. I told him it wasn’t my challenge but it’s my favorite challenge, and gave a shout out to the Carrion Crow.
If you like this interview, be sure to like the video by clicking the thumbs-up sign. If you really like it, subscribe to the channel. Bruno talks to other game designers, comic creators, authors and MMA guys (I know, weird spread). He’s trying to get more visibility for his channels and every bit helps. I’m sure that an interview with a hobbyist of my standing–the esteemed Angry Piper– can only result in a deluge of subscribers for him. Happy to do my part.
Thanks in advance. If you have any comments, leave them on Bruno’s video, or leave them here. I’ll see them either way.
I haven’t posted in a bit, in part because my country is a fucking shitshow right now where everything–most notably democracy–is on the line, and TBH, I’m scared that the future of my country may be orange. And to the asshole who said he “couldn’t help me” and would never come here again after this post, fuck off again. I didn’t need your help then, and I sure as fuck don’t now. I was right. (Still like your hobby stuff, though, even though you’re a fucking ass-hat.)
Anyway, the other part is hobby block. That thing where you can’t find the motivation to do anything at all, and when you do, you second-guess everything from color choices to which miniature I should paint next to whether or not you should be doing anything else, like doom-scrolling or playing endless video games or ignoring your family or just drinking like a fish, or all of the above, as is the case with me.
First, to my friend Dave Stone, I’m sorry I failed your Season of Scenery challenge this year because I painted exactly zero pieces of scenery. I planned to take part, but see above.
Second, to everyone whose blogs I visit, sorry for disappearing. I did manage to chide Carrion Crow for not posting enough beer videos, but that was about it. (If you haven’t watched Jeremy drink beer on video, you should check out his YouTube channel. As a bonus, I got to hear his real voice, so I know now he doesn’t sound like Lenny McLean after all. A bittersweet moment. You shattered my dreams, Jez.)
The last two months have been extremely unproductive for me, hobby-wise. Yet I still managed to paint the miniatures from the board game Alien: Fate of the Nostromo. I actually got to PLAY this game, too; with three of my oldest friends. It’s a good game. Sadly, I painted the miniatures after playing the game, so my friends couldn’t ooh and ahh over my painting genius.
Here’s the crew all together.
Lambert.
Parker.
Dallas.
Brett.
Ripley.
And the Alien.
It’s pretty clear I need some eye clean-up, but I can’t see shit these days.
Now, you may be wondering, what about Kane? What about Ash? What about that fucking cat. Jonesy?
Kane is dead, because The Alien burst out of his chest, so you don’t get to play him in the game for obvious reasons. Ash and Jonesy ARE in the game, but not as playable characters, hence no miniatures. Both of them fuck with you to make your life harder by undoing your progress and stressing you out, respectively.
The game is a lot of fun. It’s cooperative. The players work together to escape the Nostromo before getting killed. We played 3 games and lost 2 of them. It gets more challenging if you play with Ash, but we didn’t do that. I highly recommend it, and not just because it’s the only board game among the dozens I bought during the pandemic that I’ve actually had a chance to play.
I hope to be back to form soon, but who knows. My mental health has never been a concern for me, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t unusually anxious about the state of my country and the world right now. It’s tough to focus on anything.
And I still have a dragon to paint before the end of the year…
