Author Archives: The Angry Piper

Board Game Blues: Part 1: Games I’ve Played

This is my gaming table. There are many like it, but this one is mine. I rarely use it for gaming, at least with other humans. I normally use it as a platform upon which my stuff accumulates, until I get yelled at or break down and tidy up. I did the latter recently, and was left with a spotless platform from which to exhibit the ridiculous amount of board games I’ve bought, most within the last 5 years. The dimensions of this table are 6′ by 4′. I say that so you can look at the picture above, and understand that all my board games are not shown in there.

I have a lot of board games, some with miniatures, some not. I acquired most of these during the pandemic, when spending money on stuff made me feel a little better about the world ending while our leaders (well, one anyway) said vaccines are untrustworthy but injecting bleach into yourself is the way to go. Anyway, this post is about those games, why I bought them, whether or not I played them, whether or not I hope to, whether or not I think I ever will, and whether or not I regret the purchase.

Disclaimer: I have been taught (and I agree) that it is gauche to flaunt one’s wealth. That’s not what this post is about. While board games are not cheap, I am most certainly not wealthy. Most of these games were not purchased for full price, but rather at deep discounts and on clearance from Miniature Market and Amazon. While I bought some of these games because I found them affordable at the time, it doesn’t mean I should have.Think of me as the poster boy for poor impulse control and fiscal irresponsibility rather than Richie Rich (who is the single worst cartoon character ever, and that includes Woody Woodpecker, who is an absolute kick in the balls every fucking time).

Let’s start with a game I purchased well before the pandemic, one I’ve actually played a lot and one I enjoy so much I went all in on it. This is Arkham Horror (2nd edition) by Fantasy Flight Games. My understanding is there is a very popular third edition out now, and it plays differently and contains miniatures. Still not enough for me to buy it, as I never even play this edition anymore. It’s a lot of fun, but like many games nowadays it takes forever to set up.

Two more Cthulhu-themed games from Fantasy Flight: Mansions of Madness (lots of awesome miniatures in here) and Elder Sign. Although my copy of Mansions of Madness is still in the shrink-wrap (a pandemic purchase), I have played the game at a friend’s house. I remember it being fun, but we lost. Elder Sign is a game where you roll special dice to get matching results to defeat challenges. It’s ok, but the mobile app game is better and plays faster. I think I played the board game once.

Another one I went all in on, and another one that takes forever to set up: Star Wars: Imperial Assault. The miniatures are great (but expensive) and the “board” is made up of tiles arranged as a map, like Space Hulk. I played it twice, mainly because it takes so long to set up that playing through more than one scenario results in a lot of downtime as the map is broken down and the map for the next scenario is built. It’s fun, but that part is a real bummer. Gameplay is similar to Mansions of Madness, in the sense that you have a clear objective and the enemies are just there to slow you down. I’m steadily working my way through painting the miniatures and expansions for this game, because I need to justify its purchase. I have the core set, Bespin Gambit and Twin Shadows expansions completed along with all the blister releases that coincide with the boxed sets, and I’m presently working on Return to Hoth. The boxed sets on the right above are still in the wrap. These got cheap once Fantasy Flight discontinued Imperial Assault and focused on Legion, so I bought most of the expansion boxes during lockdown. Will I play it again? I hope so. It would be fun to play with painted miniatures.

Speaking of Space Hulk, here’s the 2009 third edition that I purchased in 2009. I love Space Hulk and I love this version, but I haven’t played much of it because I wanted to paint the miniatures first. Sixteen years later, I haven’t painted a single one. The miniatures are exceptional sculpts, but sadly, the Terminators are Blood Angels (my least favorite chapter, as I hate red) and I painted so many Genestealers back in the 90’s that I am unenthused to paint any more. Will I play it? Maybe. It’s fun. But unpainted miniatures irk me.

Last, another pre-pandemic purchase that I’ve played a few times: Marvel Heroes, again by Fantasy Flight. Tough to find now. You take the role of one of the superhero teams (Avengers, Fantastic Four, X-Men and the Marvel Knights) and also take the role of one of your opposing team’s nemesis. Your objective is to complete missions while your nemesis seeks to mess with you and complete their own schemes. The miniatures are pre-painted and pretty nice, but the rulebook is hard to understand. IIRC, there’s a multi-page FAQ that addresses unclear rules. Of course, this document is no longer available anywhere since Fantasy Flight lost the license to this game years ago and no longer supports it. Will I play it again? Sure, if I get a chance. It was fun and doesn’t take forever to set up.

That about wraps up part one. There are other games I own that I have played, but they’re lumped in pictures with games I haven’t, so I’ll address them individually in a later post.

I took the month of July off unintentionally. Just seemed to fly by. I haven’t painted any miniatures since my last Forgotten Heroes submission. One of my miniatures that I planned for Monster May(hem) is still sitting on my painting table, halfway done. I really should get back to him.

Forgotten Heroes 2025: The Escapist

For my last submission to Forgotten Heroes this year, I present: The Escapist!

The Escapist first appeared in The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Klay, Michael Chabon’s fantastic novel published in 2000. He’s the fictional character created by a couple of Jewish cousins working in the comics industry back in the 1930’s, the Golden Age of Comics. If that sounds familiar, it’s because Kavalier and Klay are an homage to the creators of Superman, Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel, only Siegel and Shuster weren’t cousins and Siegel (to my knowledge) wasn’t gay.

If you haven’t read this book, I can’t recommend it highly enough. It’s a novel about persecution, fear, Jewish identity, family, love, perseverance and heroes, both real and created. But you don’t have to take my word for it. Chabon won a Pulitzer Prize for it in 2001. Three years later, Dark Horse Comics published a series of comics, Michael Chabon Presents: The Amazing Adventures of The Escapist, which featured stories about the character written and drawn by different comic creators. I don’t have any, but I wish I did.

But what about The Escapist himself? Because it’s early and I have to go to work, I’ll cut and paste Wikipedia for the benefit of all.

The character’s modus operandi is part of a recurring theme of escapism in the novel, representing the imaginative and positive effects of escapism in superhero comics as well as Kavalier and Clay’s attempts to escape from the troubles of their past. Joe Kavalier has fled to America from Nazi-occupied Prague in Europe, leaving the rest of his family behind. Unable to help them, he starts fleeing from himself and everyone trying to get close to him. Sam Clay also wants to escape from himself – both his polio-stricken body and repressed homosexuality.

The Escapist’s true identity is Tom Mayflower. He is the crippled nephew of escape artist Max Mayflower (who performs under the stage name of Misterioso). When Max is fatally shot while performing onstage, he reveals that he isn’t his real uncle, having rescued him from a cruel orphanage as a baby. He gives Tom a golden key and a costume, explaining that he was recruited long ago by a mysterious organization called the League of the Golden Key to fight tyranny and free the oppressed. With his dying breath, Max commissions Tom to carry on his work. As long as Tom is wearing the costume and the key, he finds that he is no longer lame of leg and can perform amazing feats of escapology. Tom uses his powers to fight crime under the guise of the Escapist, especially against the evil forces of the mysterious criminal network, the Iron Chain.

To make The Escapist, I used this Animal Man Heroclix as a base miniature. He’s pretty much perfect.

From there, it was an easy paint job, as The Escapist’s costume is a black/grey skintight leotard and a TMNT-style bandanna domino. Not hard.

Although I was happy with the result, he looked somewhat blah, so I added the chains. It’s an actual necklace (worthless, of course) that I clipped and superglued into a pile at his feet. One quick metallic drybrush later, and voila! The Escapist has escaped!

That’s it for Forgotten Heroes 2025. Thanks as always to Jeremy for hosting it. I’ll be making the rounds to everyone’s blog to see their contributions and heap well-deserved praise upon them!

Forgotten Heroes 2025: Chemistro

I’ve always been a huge fan of the Heroes for Hire (especially Power Man), so I have a near-complete run of Luke Cage, Power Man and Power Man and Iron Fist. Power Man and Iron Fist have (or at least had) very few recurring villains, but Chemistro was an exception. No less than three guys have called themselves Chemistro. Luke Cage fought the first two on his own before partnering up with Iron Fist for the third.

The first Chemistro, Curtis Carr, was a chemist who invented an “alchemy gun”, with which he could turn stuff into other stuff. His bosses claimed it as company property, so he stole it back and used it to get revenge. He blew his own foot off with it in the process, and Power Man sent him to the slammer.

While in there, he was cellmates with a guy named Archibald Morton, who forced Carr to reveal the secret of the alchemy gun. Morton tried to build one himself, but since he’s a dummy and not a scientist, it exploded in his hand. This gave him the powers of the alchemy gun without the gun. He also ran afoul of Luke Cage and lost.

The third Chemistro is Curtis’s younger brother Calvin, who stole a new gun and tried his hand at being a criminal until Power Man and Iron Fist shut him down with the help of Curtis, who didn’t want his younger brother doing crimes. As far as Chemistro’s history goes, that’s as much as I know, but he’s apparently still around. Check Wikipedia for updates if so inclined.

To make Chemistro, I used this Thunderball Heroclix as a base model. I mean, you can’t do better than this. He’s not even carrying his wrecking ball, so I don’t have to remove it.

I slapped on a retro raygun bit I had in the bitz box, and voila! One repaint and rebase later, and here’s Chemistro!

I’m hoping to get my last one done over the weekend for posting on the 30th. There’s a little more work involved with that one, but the costume is easy to paint. Fingers crossed!

Forgotten Heroes 2025: The Ghost Who Walks

For my first submission to Forgotten Heroes 2025, I present The Man Who Cannot Die, The Phantom!

One of the first costumed superheroes, the Phantom debuted in 1936 and is still in syndication in newspaper strips today. He was the first hero to wear a skintight suit, and the first to have eyes with no visible pupils. There was a movie that came out in 1996 starring Billy Zane that I know I’ve seen but can’t remember anything about, and a Scifi channel miniseries that I know I haven’t seen.

The Phantom is actually a title, not a name: twenty-one generations of the Walker family have worn the suit. Since it’s passed down from generation to generation, the myth developed that the Phantom is immortal. From Wikipedia:

The Phantom was 21st in a line of crime-fighters which began in 1536, when the father of British sailor Christopher Walker was killed during a pirate attack. Swearing an oath on the skull of his father’s murderer to fight evil, Christopher began a legacy of the Phantom which would pass from father to son. Nicknames for the Phantom include “The Ghost Who Walks”, “Guardian of the Eastern Dark” and “The Man Who Cannot Die”.[6]

Unlike many other superheroes, the Phantom has no superpowers; he relies on his strength, intelligence, skill at arms (he carries two holstered handguns, a revolver and a 1911 .45 autopistol, one on each hip, and is an expert marksman with both), and the myth of his immortality to take action against the forces of evil. The 21st Phantom is married to Diana Palmer; they met while he studied in the United States and they have two children, Kit and Heloise. He has a trained wolf named Devil and a horse named Hero, and like the 20 previous Phantoms he lives in the ancient Skull Cave.

To make the Phantom, I used this Daredevil Heroclix. I cut off the billy clubs and up-gunned him by giving him twin machine pistols. The bottom parts of the clubs now look like ammo clips.

Pretty much all that was left to do was repaint him, although I removed a good part of his billy holster and filed down his horns first. (I didn’t care enough to give him a second holster, though). Looks like I missed a spot on his left toe. I’ll fix it, but I’m not taking the pictures again.

There’s quite a bit of variation in his costume colors. A quick Google search shows his signature purple suit varies between royal purple to pastel lavender, and the stripes on his briefs have been blue, red or yellow. I stuck with the blue.

The Phantom was created by Lee Falk, who died in 1999. Fun story: In 1993, I was 21 years old and working in a comic shop. I had occasion to spend a fair bit of time with a woman 17 years my senior who worked for a major advertising firm in New York. Once, while we were not doing what we usually did when we saw each other, she mentioned that I should meet her friend Lee sometime, since I was into comics. She described him as a lovely old guy. She met him while doing marketing work for King Features Syndicate, who owned, among other things, The Phantom. Yes, she meant that Lee, and no, I never met him.

Anyway, imagine my surprise when, researching this hero, I discovered that there has been a recent video game released featuring the character that looks awesome but has been described as an “experience in frustration” and a “barely functional mess”. Yikes.

One down, one more to go (possibly two)!

Monster May(hem) 2025 Update!

Monster May(hem) 2025 is coming to an end, and I’m unsure if I will get my third (and final) submission in by the end of the month, as he’s turned out to be way more of a pain in the ass than I could have imagined. Still, I aim to finish him before starting anything else, because otherwise he’s just going to sit on my desk indefinitely, becoming yet another forlorn and somewhat accusatory miniature in my ever-growing side pile.

However, others have not been idle, and it behooves me to recognize their efforts. This will not be the final Monster May(hem) update, as the month isn’t over and there are always stragglers, but since it’s been a couple of weeks, here’s what the other participants have been up to:

  • Simon, from Fantorical, has painted some 10mm Xenomorphs;
  • Jeremy, from Carrion Crow’s Buffet, continues work on his Gingerbread Dragon for his Santa Wars project (when he’s not drinking beer and talking to annoying Americans with technical difficulties);
  • Dave, from Wargames Terrain Workshop, painted a Dewback, two Great Gnarlocs he sculpted himself, returned to Star Wars to sculpt and paint a Corellian Hound and a Jerba; and then back to the 40K Universe to kitbash (and paint) a Krootox and Khymarae, and all this with an injury. Dave always brings the thunder for this challenge, and his single-minded mission to sculpt every single thing ever shown on-screen in the Star Wars Universe continues to amaze and delight me with each post. Stunning work, Dave.
  • Snapfit, from Da Green Horde, has painted a massive Squiggoth! I remember squiggoths from Epic scale 40K, but this “Gnawzilla” model from Kromlech is an impressive beast done proud by Snapfit! Awesome!
  • Matt, from PM Painting, has been a busy bee in the past two weeks, completing a truly exceptional Dagon (a Lovecraftian Deity! YAAAAY!), A “lesser” Daemon of Nurgle, an ominous (and very cool) Corpse Collector, and (my personal favorite), the Cheshire Cat! Welcome back, Matt! Hopefully you’re back to stay, cuz we’ve missed you, man!
  • Jon, from Jon’s Hobby Desk
  • Malcolm, @mdcampbell_dunwichcreatives, who has done a Toxic Spirit, from the old Ral Partha Shadowrun line, a Myconid (Fungus-Man); and a “Snake Thing” (It’s a Grick, Malcolm!). Thanks for coming back this year!
  • Mike, @sasquatchminis
  • James, @spoontasticminis, has continued work on a Tyranid Exocrine, and it looks awesome. Can’t wait to see it completed! This one’s a big fella!
  • and Sabrina, @Uthwulfsminis. has completed Rey Dau, a dragon from the Monster Hunter Wilds board game, and has started on another beastie from the game. My deepest apologies to Sabrina, as I somehow missed her Monster May(hem) contributions throughout the month so far. There’s no excuse for that, and I will commit seppuku in atonement once the final Monster May(hem) 2025 update has been posted. So no Forgotten Heroes for me this year, after all, although if Dave can sculpt and paint with an injured hand, I should be able to convert a miniature even with my guts exposed to daylight.

Check out everyone’s work and lend them your support! Once again, it’s been my honor to host this challenge. If I forgot anyone or if you have further submissions, let me know. Watch this space to see the miniature I’ve been struggling with for the last half of the month. He’ll be here soon, if not by the end of May.

Cheers!

Monster Mayhem 2025: Nyarlathotep, The Crawling Chaos

Nyarlathotep… the crawling chaos… I am the last… I will tell the audient void…

For my second submission for Monster May(hem) 2025: I present a classic Grenadier miniature from 1985: Nyarlathotep (also known as the “Spawning Horror” once Grenadier stopped making Call of Cthulhu miniatures). I’ve had this miniature since it was released, so it’s great to free it from my pile of shame!

As you can see, the miniature is sculpted on a long, narrow base. I found a circular base wide enough to mount the miniature with no overhang, but that left a lot of extra space, so I added a few rocky bits with some green stuff before priming. I intended to make this a lava base, as Nyarlathotep, being the Messenger of the Great Old Ones, probably hangs out in inhospitable locales and wouldn’t be bothered all that much by lava.

Then I changed my mind and decided to make it a foul, swampy base, complete with Vallejo Water Effects you somehow can’t see in these pictures, but trust me, they’re there.

There’s a weird part of his back that I didn’t know how to paint, so I decided to make it the “three-lobed burning eye” referenced in Lovecraft’s story The Haunter in the Dark. Trouble was, there is an obvious slit in the middle which makes a “three-lobed eye” look dumb, so I just made it a big eye. Not totally happy with it, but whatever.

Nyarlathotep is the Lovecraftian Outer God that has the most interaction with humans, as he derives pleasure from corrupting and tormenting humanity. He offers forbidden knowledge and eldritch power in exchange for worship and depravity. Nyarlathotep is rumored to have over 1000 forms, including this one, known as the God of the Bloody Tongue, but he’s also happy to take human form as needed.

This miniature is actually pretty small, probably because it’s 25mm scale. If it were made today I’m sure it would be much larger, considering this form of Nyarlathotep is usually about the size of a house.

And finally, here’s a better look at the base. I’m glad I went with swamp over lava, but I’m annoyed my water effects aren’t visible in the pictures.

Monster May(hem) is at the halfway point, and we have some great stuff so far! Check out all our participants and their contributions so far!

Monster May(hem) continues until the end of May. I’m hoping to do at least one more, hopefully two. I’m keeping up with submissions and will post them here as they drop! Thanks to all!

Monster May(hem) 2025: Avatar of the Abyss

My first submission for Monster May(hem) 2025 is this thing: the Avatar of the Abyss.

This miniature is from B=Sieged, a game released by Cool Mini or Not back in 2015. I don’t play B-Sieged and never have, but on one of my Miniature Market binges I tacked this guy onto my order as, IIRC, he was only like two bucks, probably because no one else ever played B-Sieged, either. CMON is notorious for releasing games and then abandoning them, so their miniatures often find themselves in online clearance bins. (They make some pretty good miniatures, so it’s often worth the wait.)

Anyway, I would have no reason whatsoever to paint this miniature were it not for Monster May(hem). I thought about which colors to choose for far too long before I just settled on painting him like the box art.

I’m not totally happy with the color transition on the abdomen. My guess is he’s meant to be belching forth fire or something. I used a wet-blending technique but I kind of rushed it. It will do, but it’s far from perfect.

This is one of the many miniatures I have collected over the years that I have no planned use for, had no real intention of painting, certainly did not need and probably shouldn’t have spent the money on (even though it was dirt cheap). That being said, he’s not bad-looking all painted up, and he took me less than two hours total to paint.

I kept the basing simple: just a grey drybrush over some black paint, with a few Army Painter scorched tufts thrown on for good measure.

One down, and at least one (or two) more to go. I have another miniature I’ve had since the late 80’s I want to paint, and another I’ve had for almost 15 years that I was going to get rid of, but decided to keep. (That one looks like a cast-iron bitch to assemble, though, so we’ll see if I can summon the patience.) And then, there’s that Dragon I was supposed to paint last year that I never got around to…

Here is the blogroll of participants thus far, meaning those who have let me know they want to take part. From the blogosphere:

And from Instagram:

If nothing else, this random miniature from my pile of shame has got me painting again, so that’s something. Looking forward to seeing what everyone does! I’ll update this list periodically, but don’t let that stop you from checking out all these blogs and IG accounts yourself. As always, there’s a lot of talent here!

Monster May(hem) 2025 Begins!

Short and sweet, folks (more time to paint your monsters!) Monster May(hem) starts TODAY!

Here is the blogroll of participants thus far, meaning those who have let me know they want to take part. From the blogosphere:

No big surprises there. These are my peeps, after all, although I’m thrilled that Monster May(hem) has lured Matt out of the wilds of Vermont to join us again after a year’s absence!

From Instagram:

Returning champions and friends, all!

Anyone else who wants to take part need only let me know in the comments below, or drop me an an email at angrypiper@angrypiper.com, or PM me on Instagram @angrypiper. I will add your name and website/IG account (if applicable) to the blogroll forthwith! If you don’t have either of those and still want to take part, no problem! I’ll host your images here on this very site.

Like last year I plan on making every effort to be in The Paint Pit channel of my Discord server this month while I work on my monsters. That’s usually between the hours of 5:30-7:30 PM (EST) on weekdays here in the States, and anytime I can get to myself on the weekends. Can’t promise I’ll be there every day, but if I’m not, feel free to hang out and meet some of the other participants, if so inclined. Don’t have an invitation to my Discord server and want one? Read this first, and then contact me.

Without further ado, Gentlemen (and Lady), PAINT YOUR MONSTERS!!!!

It’s Back!!!! Monster May(hem) 2025!

Hi. I’m The Angry Piper. You might remember me as a guy who used to paint stuff. Not so much these days, but if I can’t get off my ass for what’s fast approaching, then I should just hang up my painting kilt for good. May is upon us, and that can mean only one thing. It’s Monster May(hem) yet again!

Veterans of Monster May(hem) will recall that it is a painting challenge I host annually in May (duh), which focuses on painting monsters. It is open to both old-school blog scrollers and new-fangled Instagrammers. Monster May(hem) does not discriminate.

What is Monster May(hem)? Why, it’s the month you paint monsters, of course. Any monster will do, although it should be a proper MONSTER, something big and mean. I mean something truly beastly; like a manticore or a hydra or a giant, irradiated chicken. Your monster(s) doesn’t have to be strictly a fantasy miniature, and it may be any scale and from any manufacturer. For example, I painted those wampas last year (and not much since.)

How many monsters you paint is up to you. The minimum is one, of course; but feel free to do as many as you like. The only caveat is that they get painted sometime in May. I will link to your stuff throughout the month, and (if it’s not there already) add your blog/website/social media to the blogroll on the side! If you don’t have a site of your own and still want to participate, I’ll happily host your pictures here and ensure you get proper attribution! (And I’ll be much better about it than I was with the Year of the Dragon challenge last year.)

So if you’re in, let me know in the comments below or reach out on Instagram. I’ll post the list of participants in the next post. Until then, go find some monsters to paint!

“Hail, Satan!”

61 and 0. That’s how many days have passed thus far in 2025, and how many miniatures I have painted so far this year. It seems my motivation, for painting at least, has not returned, and judging by how long it took me to respond to comments on my last post, neither has my motivation for blogging. (I actually couldn’t remember my WordPress password for a minute there.) My Instagram accounts have been barren wastelands with no posts since January (although I have been commenting and interacting with others), and if not for the many friends I’ve made on IG, I’d consider ditching the platform altogether. Is this how an old hobbyist goes out, not with a bang, but a whimper? Maybe, but I’m not done yet. There is a hobby ember still smoldering deep within my breast. I hope to back in true form for Monster May(hem) and Forgotten Heroes, two challenges I would not willingly miss.

All is not lost. I have managed to get a few (at least tangentially) hobby-related things done this year. Most recently, I sat down with Bruno Galan again to discuss the Satanic Panic of the 1980’s, along with Tenebrae de Profundis and Grim Jim Desborough. We started talking about the Satanic Panic, veered off course for a while to discuss cancel culture and other bullshit, then brought it back around. This was recorded at 1 am my time, so apologies if I ramble somewhat. You can view and listen to it above, if so inclined. If you watch it, please do Bruno a favor and like the video about halfway through. It helps the video get noticed. If you really like it, you can subscribe to his channel, where you can find previous interviews Bruno did with all three of us.

Next, I’ve returned to roleplaying on a regular schedule, something I haven’t done for years, and I’m recording the sessions for eventual release (hopefully–I need to learn sound editing first). Although I’ve run a few games here and there over the past year, prior to that I took a year-long hiatus from gaming after leaving my longtime gaming group for reasons. (They will always be my friends, I just think it’s better that some of us don’t game together any longer.) Truthfully, I missed playing more than I wanted to admit. Since starting an Instagram account during the pandemic, I’ve met some really awesome people from all over the world that I’ve been able to play with remotely. Although I miss sitting around a table chucking dice, I never would have been able to game with these folks otherwise.

Last year (around November 7th or so), I made the decision to focus on something that will make me happy. I decided to kick off a new campaign in 2025 using a classic module for inspiration and setting: the first module I ever owned, played and ran as a DM: Dungeon Module B2, The Keep on the Borderlands. (One of my players suggested I name the campaign “Keith on the Borderlands”, which we all found amusing.) I like actual play podcasts, so I thought I’d give it a try myself by recording these sessions. It’s my hope that I’ll be able to start a podcast of my own, combining actual play with gaming topics. Hardly original, I know, but I’m an old grognard and I have opinions.

I decided to use AD&D 2nd Edition for the rules set, as that is my favorite edition, and I’ve heavily modified the module so there’s more going on than entering caves, killing everything inside and taking their shit (wash, rinse, repeat). So far, we’ve played four sessions and last week we had our first character death. I feel kind of bad, as the player who lost a character has only ever played 5E before, and met the harsh reality of 2E head first. No superhero characters here, no long rests that miraculously restore all your hit points and spells, no three out of five death saves. (Luckily, I prepared my players for the inevitability of character death by having them make several characters.)

I also broke my “read 100 books you own before buying any new books” ban to purchase this book (and read it): CrowNomancer, by some guy named Winstanley. Ever wish you could go back in time and be the coolest kid at school? Ever wish you could use magic? Ever wish you could do all three? Check this out. You can get it on Amazon.

Finally, she-who-is-my-wife occasionally travels to visit friends and family in other parts of the country and the world, while I am left alone and bereft here at my palatial estate. When I know one of these sojourns is coming, I naturally plan all the things I will do in her absence: all the miniatures I will paint, video games I will play, food I will cook, booze I will drink, books I will read, movies I will watch and games I will play, all while temporarily unfettered by the constrictions required to maintain a healthy relationship.

Then, when she’s gone, I do none of those things. I just walk around the house like a guy who got hit in the head with a hammer.

Last month she took one of these trips, and I did something different, something productive. I painted my basement.

My basement is (mostly) my domain, wherein all my stuff sits. All my miniatures, video games, roleplaying games, comic books, my computer (where I write this post) and my painting desk and gaming table (which I never use). It is my version of Mr. Brady’s den, for those familiar with the analogy, so you may be forgiven if you think that my painting of the basement was purely self-serving. It was not. You see, I am a man, and therefore I don’t see things like scuff marks or dust or peeled paint or cobwebs. They don’t exist for me, no matter how many times a certain someone points them out and tells me I really should paint this place, because I’ve owned the house for over a decade and it hasn’t been painted since then, and probably wasn’t painted since the place was built. So my decision to do something productive rather than walk around like a fucking zombie for a week was not made selfishly.

Painting the basement took me most of the week and two gallons of paint (at 50 bucks a gallon–WTF???). I had to do it in stages, as it required me to move all the furniture away from the walls, and there simply wasn’t enough room in the center for everything at once. The worst part was moving the seven Ikea glass display cases full of painted miniatures. I’m happy to say I managed it without catastrophe, and without the need to empty them first. The basement looks much better than it did, as I opted for a brighter white than was on the walls previously. (Naturally, it went unnoticed by anyone but me for weeks, until I had to physically point it out.) Anyway, one of the benefits of moving all the furniture was that I took the opportunity to clean off and organize my painting desk, so when I do go back it will be ready for me.

Whenever that is.